CURSEDCLEVELAND.COM

We've Moved, To Another Site That Nobody Likes!

2009-02-12T19:39:00.006-05:00

We're not sure how you got directed here, in fact, where were you when we were churning out perfect blog items a few times a year? Well, we've moved on to Wordpress, which means all the same horrible writing and hacky jokes, only this time, the terrible site design is now slightly below average. So check it out, at CursedCleveland.com...new and unimproved.

Introducing: The Alyssa Milano Collection

2009-02-12T12:13:00.006-05:00

Are you a Cleveland girl who enjoys munilot drunken dabauchery? Do you have a yearning for a three-four defensive scheme featuring zero playmakers at the LB position? Have you hooked up with Braylon Edwards after a night out at XO? Has Ryan Tucker thrown you through a window in a fit of roid rage? Then Alyssa Milano's new "Touch" Collection featured in the Cleveland Browns gift shop is for you.

Considering the unorthodox way the Browns coach actually hired the GM, it's fitting that when fans pose the inevitable question of "Who's the Boss?", they'll be sporting apparel from the catalogue of a former cast member! The name of the new couture label itself ("Touch") might appear to be at odds with the throwing style of starting quarterback Derek Anderson. It does however properly describe the method by which the Browns defense attempts to tackle.

Sizes available are (S) (M) (L) and (RAC).

Newzin'

2009-02-12T10:40:00.004-05:00

Mo Williams was the 14th choice for the All-Star game, but fourth for the skills competition after Jameer Nelson's injury. Motivation must be derived from this right? Cavs insider.

In the same article, Windhorst writes that LeBron's refusal to do dunk contests has a root: "There are some who believe James was scarred by the Slam Dunk Contest at the 2003 McDonald's All-American Game, which he controversially won. Had he competed and lost over All-Star Weekend to lesser names, it could have had consequences on his reputation." Well I did some research, as it turns out, the judges were Carlos Boozer, DeSagana Diop, Darius Miles, DaJuan Wagner and his colostomy bag, and Michael Vick.

Bill Livingtston says Mike Brown does not need to apologize for his tirade. I will not be writing a similar piece about Bill Livingston's column.

Mel Kiper says the Browns need speed and pass-rushing linebackers.

Hey you over there without a job. I'm guessing you won't be flying to Goodyear to watch an 81-win team play in a ballpark that charges $9.50 for a sandwich in this downtrodden economy. Don't laugh Carl Pavano, this could be you in a year.

MO = FIIIIIIIYYYYYYAAAAAA!!!

2009-02-11T20:57:00.006-05:00

Cleveland - Tonight the Cavs leaned on the Eastern Conference All Star Team's 14th man. Mo Williams stole the show from LeBron with 44 points and 7 assists, shooting 18-26 from the floor and not using the rim for most of his makes. This comes after it was announced that Mo will be one of the ballers in the All Star Saturday night Skills Competition. Hopefully someone can poison something in one of Jason Kapono's meals so Mo can participate in the 3-point shootout, as tonight Mo was 7-9 from (DEEP IN THE Q BLAJSAKJLAJSALBLAHHAHABLAH)!!!!!!

Z continued to look very bad and finally Big Ben and Sideshow Bob got extra minutes. Boobs Gibson played better and was shockingly good on defense. However that defense was helped by the Suns, minus Steve Nash, turning the ball over in very ugly fashion TWENTY FIVE TIMES. Phoenix was extremely unimpressive and they might just completely blow this once great group up (they really already have been blown up). LeBron for the most part deferred and didn't have to do anything special tonight. Anyways, the Cavs (AND MYSELF) head to Phoenix this weekend at 40-11 with only a couple bad losses and 1 very big win. All in all great 1st half, and don't look now, but thee one, thee only, D-HOOD is creepin on a come up. GO CAVS.

And look for LeBron to get his 24 All Star Field Goal Attempts. I for one don't want to get sold short.

Cavs vs. Phoenix

2009-02-11T13:42:00.002-05:00

Cleveland - Tonight the Cavs try and bounce back from losses to Lamar Odom and Joey Crawford against the struggling Phoenix Suns. Traditionally 2-time joke MVP Steve Nash and LeBron tend to have big numbers against one another, but the Suns tend to win the game. Mike D'antoni is finally gone however and the current Suns team does not resemble the old 60-win teams. Biggg Shaq Daddy Diesel (The best and most productive player on 3 Laker championship teams, and 2nd best player on a Miami title team) has been playing better than expected this season. This Phoenix team might be older than the members over at Lakeview Cemetery but they could still present problem for a struggling Cavs team with no decent 2 guard.

The Cavs of late have gotten away from their style of defending and rebounding as well as falling into the trap of watching and depending on LeBron James. This game could turn into an arena football game if Mike Brown and Terry Porter let their teams disregard one end of the floor. I'll take the Cavs by a count of 112-101.

LeBron James Denies Steroid Use

2009-02-11T12:05:00.003-05:00

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - In the era of performance-enhancing drugs, every athlete's weight fluctuations on a year-to-year basis come with an enormity of speculation. Yet, somehow, NBA players have always been immune to the type of skepticism that accompanies mass gain or loss for other athletes in other sports. With PEDs dominating the headlines since Canseco penned his first ever subject-predicate sequence, it's a little shocking that nobody has every directly asked LeBron James if his roughly 4o-pound weight gain had anything to do with the same doping that was running rampant in every other sport. Was the guy going to have to travel back in time and put on a Texas Rangers jersey for someone to actually ask some questions?

Well after five years in the league, it took an Indianapolis Star writer (former Cleveland PD writer Bob Kravitz) to pop the question of pill popping. Here was the King's answer:

"I could never see myself doing anything to get an edge by using something that's banned,'' James said before Tuesday night's wild 96-95 Indiana Pacers' victory over James' Cleveland Cavaliers at Conseco Fieldhouse. "I would never put myself in that position. There are way too many kids who look up to me, who look up to the guys around us who believe we're heroes.

"I could never do anything like that to change the way a kid thinks about me as an individual. I couldn't do it.''

So James joins Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Miguel Tajada, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez, Ken Caminiti, and Rafael Palmeiro, on a growing list of players who have denied steroid usage. It's obvious that Bron has been immune to these types of allegations because his muscle gain could be dismissed as a growth spurt. He's 24 years old and it looks like he's finally stopped ~~cycling~~ growing.

So, now it's out there. LeBron is on record as saying he would never take steroids in the future. Although if you look closely at the quote, he didn't exactly deny taking them in the past. Which if we've learned anything from Rafael Palmeiro or A-Rod, it's to leave some wiggle room, oh and to make sure not to stack winstrol and dianaball concurrently during the 2nd cycle. Obviously.

Brett Favre is Retiring...Again

2009-02-11T11:30:00.008-05:00

NEW YORK - Well in continuing with the saga that has ruined episodes of sportscenter for the past 3 years, Brett Favre has decided to go ahead and... WHO CARES! The only way I could be less interested in this guy would be if he had penises growing off of his face. This time, he didn't put on the big production, instead having his agent break the news to the Jets. I'd like to personally thank Brett for this, as I won't have to see him crying on television and hear all of the former average NFL players ESPN Analysts give their take on whether he'll actually be back. At this point it is unclear whether or not Favre will be issuing a public apology to Eric Mangini for costing him his job, thus resulting in him coming to Cleveland.

Newzin'

2009-02-11T09:52:00.008-05:00

LeBron after the game talks about the controversial call:
"The last call against me? Not questionable at all. No contact was made." LeBron's memory is starting to rival that of Ronald Reagan's towards the late stages of his life. Bad call, but he made contact.

LeBron denies steroid use. I guess we should take him at his word, right? More on this later.

Shaq says Kobe is the best player in the NBA, again. The girl Kobe raped also thinks Kobe is the best. This is like Obsama Bin Laden saying George Bush is the best president ever.

Does Ohio State have ANY non-white players? Look at photo above! OSU Coach talks about ~~is slow white players~~ offensive line.

David Light's return is now officially doubtful.

Chris Brown's music has been pulled from Kiss FM. Imagine if Z107.9 pulled all the music associated with criminal behavior. You'd cease to have a station.

Message Board Mania

2009-02-10T23:20:00.003-05:00

Cursedcleveland.com is proud to bring to you a brand new feature; a comprehensive look at a controversial game through the eyes of a fanbase's most rational fans: message board posters. The following are actual threads started on a local message board following tonight's controversial loss to the Pacers.

Once again, ESPN bashes cavs.

Why we need to tradie Daniel Gibson

Cavs are the biggest whiners in the league...

Dont Even say we Dont need another sh0o0ter ! WE DO . PERIOD !
Ben Wallace needs minutes in the 4th!!!!!

Dont Even say we Dont need another sh0o0ter ! WE DO . PERIOD !

Where have the Cavs gone?

2009-02-10T22:13:00.007-05:00

Indiana - Tonight the Cavs decided to take the 1st 46 minutes of the basketball game off and in the end were bitten by a ref that didn't get enough attention as a kid. LeBron had about the worst 47, 7 and 4 (on 12-21 shooting) game that a player could ever have. He had 7 well deserved, awful turnovers and was lazy on transition and half-court defense until the final few minutes. His night was very Kobe-like, and the Cleveland Cavs will never be able to survive LeBron playing like Kobe.

This Cavs team is slowly turning into the Cavs teams of the last few years as on offense lately it is dependent on LeBron isolation with a few Mo Williams jumpers as well. Mike Brown is most likely using the excuse of 3 shooting guards being injured to give a bad Boobie Gibson a ton of minutes and try and play a small offensive group and bench his better defenders. Big Z has looked slower than usual since his return with the exception of the Clipper game and Andy and Big Ben should have played more tonight. This Cavs team is not playing at the level it was during the 1st month-plus of the season on offense, defense or rebounding.

Maybe most importantly, one of the refs (not Joey Crawford) made a foul call against LeBron with 0.2 seconds which was one of the worst calls in NBA history. He made the call because the play looked extremely similar to an alley-oop 0.2 seconds earlier in which a foul was called against Danny Granger. The call against Granger was a probably a bad call, but Granger did make a lot of contact. The call against LeBron was an abomination and this ref should be suspended as a result. Mike Brown will be paying cheddar for his comments after the game in which for the first time I can remember he murdered a referee with his comments. That being said, Coach potato-head was wrong in that the call did not cost the Cavs this game, it was moreso the extremely lazy effort the team gave for 46 minutes. Phoenix tomorrow - GO CAVS

FIRST FOUL SNAPSHOT

SECOND FOUL SNAPSHOT

So Much for that Chip on Mo Williams' Shoulder

2009-02-10T17:38:00.010-05:00

Indiana - It's been a devastating week for the Cavaliers, who've lost Aleksandar Pavlovic, who were beaten a second time by the Lakers, who might not have the lock anymore on a LeBron MVP, and who now don't have all that contrived motivation working for them that comes with sending only one player to the all-star game

.

Yep, Mo Williams is now a full-fledged all-star now that Chris Bosh is out with an injury (similar to when I became a student council rep after four kids died in my graduating class). We're wondering why Tony Allen wasn't considered. Oh and there goes my joke about Mike Brown getting in all his all-stars...now that he really does have two options. The real question, will Williams be able to get off any shots while LeBron is taking his customary all-star total of 24 shots.

EDIT - Oh and notice that the photographer was not about to wait even another second for Mo to look up at the camera.

Alex Rodriguez is Dominating SportsCenter

2009-02-10T13:53:00.004-05:00

CHOCOLATE FACTORY - Since I haven't been able to see any normal sports coverage on my favorite show due to this mess, I thought I'd put down a few words about it. Apparently Alex Rodriguez took the only known strand of performance enhancing drugs that makes you hit home runs, hit for a high percentage, and look a whole heck of a lot like an Oompa Loompa. Somewhere along the way, ESPN decided that it would be a great idea to hold all of their interviews under some sort of weird orange light, making the people being interviewed look absolutely repulsive. First, Ken Whisenhunt was interviewed during the week of the Super Bowl, and this crazy light made his front teeth resemble those of Captain Jack Sparrow, and now this

.

Now back to A-Rod, or A-Fraud as these oh so witty columnists have dubbed him. Not that my humble opinion means anything in the least, but this guy has been one of the ~~worst post-season hitters~~ greatest hitters ever to play the game. So he took some performance enhancing drugs, we get it. So did half the damn league, and you know what...it made this miserably boring game a tad bit more exciting for a while there. In fact, since the "Steroid Era" ended, there have been less homeruns, considerably less excitement and fewer domestic violence cases off the field. This is not a recipe for success.

Having watched the interview with Peter Gammons, I do genuinely feel that Rodriguez is sincere in his apology. You can't fake those awkward facial expressions and near breakdowns. Is it fair that this guy has to take the heat while 103 players who tested positive remain anonymous? No, it isn't. When asked about this, A-Rod said he didn't care about anyone else and wouldn't comment, which is absolutely the correct thing to do. Be a man, accept that what you did was wrong, and don't go blaming others like Jose Canseco did. If I could eliminate one person from the universe it would be Canseco, what a lowlife this guy is. Unfortunately he wasn't able to save enough money from his overrated career, so he had to go making things up about all of the players who were better than he was to make a few extra bucks to afford all of that hair gel. A-Rod, CursedCleveland.com salutes you for taking steroids, and admitting to it, and hitting homeruns, and banging Madonna, and being handsome, and not liking Derek Jeter.

Cavs at Pacers

2009-02-10T13:23:00.007-05:00

Tonight The Cavs head to Indy to rebound from Lamar Odom's domination over Boobie Gibson. The C-L-E tends to play well against the Pacers and LeBron and Danny Granger have developed a mini-rivalry. Look for Anderson Varejao to come back strong after playing like a 7th grade CYO girl against the Lakers; He has some of his best games against Indy

.

The Cavs have not lost 2 straight games yet this season, BUT the Pacers can do something no other NBA squad can accomplish, throw a Whitewash at LeBron James. Skin color has been a hot topic in our country of late but more importantly of course on this website. Unfortunately Jeff Foster and Mike Dunleavy Jr. may be out due to injury, or else we could see the historic Klan lineup of Travis Diener, Josh McRoberts, Troy Murphy, Foster and Dunleavy on an NBA floor. I'm pretty sure these are not foreigners people! The idea of this opposing 5 wets LeBron's appetite moreso than sloppy McDonald's double cheeseburgers and filet o fish sandwiches wets my own.

If Granger gets in foul trouble look for LeBron to go off for 35, 13 and 10 with 4 steals and 3 blocks. The Cavs should rebound and move the ball infinitely better than they did on Sunday in their first home loss. The Eastern Conference All Star head coach Mike Brown also had what was most likely his worst game of the season and should get back to being his awesome matchup/substituting self. I'll take the C-L-E in a game closer than some would think against a team that I could still see making a playoff push by a score of 102-97.

Cleveland Is Miserable, Even With LeBron

2009-02-10T12:11:00.006-05:00

In case their were still any doubters left, Forbes has confirmed what Karl Malone, Gary Miller, and thousands of other college degree-holding northeast Ohioans already know: Cleveland is a miserable city

In a rare Forbes piece that actually references an African American (that would be like Slam Magazine doing a feature on a Jewish American that's not an agent or commissioner), the author explains why Cleveland (#4) is on equal footing with Stockton California and Flint, Michigan:

"Only Denver gets socked with more snow than Cleveland's 52-inch annual average among the 50 largest metros. Clevelanders wait in fear for July 1, 2010, when hoops star LeBron James can switch teams as a free agent."

Great, so Forbes joins ESPN, the entire New York media, and Maverick Carter as those that think LeBron is a goner. By the way, will someone tell all these websites that do lists like "Most educated cities" and "Best towns to meet singles" that you're allowed to list all the cities on one page. Not like CursedCleveland.com is the paragon of website design (although our new relaunch is coming soon), but nobody wants to tediously scroll through each page just to see your not-so-comprehensive list, unless teens on toilets are involved (just make sure to set a system restore point before you go on that scavenger hunt).

Newzin'

2009-02-10T09:07:00.003-05:00

Much like the Spurs win the title every other year, the Indians achieve similar success in odd years - but without the titles or the fans. AL Central prospectus

LeBron wins player of the week award once again. I was going to joke about whether the voters were blind, but it turns out that Gordon Gund has a ballot and he was indeed at Sunday against the Lakers - sitting courtside no less!

Terry Pluto says he wishes he was listening to Hubie Brown instead of JVG on Sunday. Well I wish I was reading Hal Lebovitz instead of Terry Pluto right now. Tate remark offensive.

Buckeyes back in the AP Poll, perhaps an NIT bid is not in the offing after all. Oh and Evan Turner is player of the week...and is so gone.

Lots of people tuned in for JJ Hickson's boxing out tutorial. Kobe/LeBron draws stellar rating.

Browns Lose Another Assistant: Ken Dorsey Waived

2009-02-09T21:31:00.007-05:00

The never-ending third-team quarterback controversy got even hazier today as the Browns waived Ken Dorsey and Bruce Gradkowski. This leaves new coach Eric Mangini and the rest of the Browns brass in a tenuous position of having to actually find a third option to fill in once options one and two contract MRSA and/or go down with the dreaded ACL/MCL tear

.

Browns fans are sure to have mixed emotions on the Dorsey era. Few players were able to motion in the signals with the flair and passion of Dorsey. He'll also remain one of the few quarterbacks of the modern era to sport the full length t-shirt under the spotless, seldom-used jersey. However, some purists continue to assert that Dorsey, as the sideline signaller, failed in his job as the last line of defense for Romeo and Chud's horrendous playcalling - and that he could have changed calls on the fly. He was also limited in his abilities over the years to run the scout team and to mimic opposing QB's. One source told us that janitors within the complex would be asked to come in and make the 15-yard throws that Dorsey was unable to hammer out.

Calls made to ~~Bernie Kosar~~ Ken Dorsey's agent were not returned.

The Lakers Own the East

2009-02-09T13:11:00.004-05:00

LOS ANGELES - Nobody expected this...not even the writers here at CursedCleveland.com, who are more obsessed with the Lakers than ~~teenage girls~~ Jack Nicholson. A 6-0 Eastern Conference road trip, with wins over the Celtics & Cavaliers headlining this streak. The Lakers are now 4-0 against the Cavs & Lakers combined, and have broken all sorts of streaks along the way. They dismantled a 19-game winning streak of the Celts, another 12 gamer last Thursday, and most recently snapped the Cavs unbeaten streak at "The Q.

"

They've done this by becoming tougher on the defensive end, and the killer part is that they lost Andrew Bynum possibly for the season, and have shown that they are still dominant without their injury prone 7 footer. Yesterday afternoon, Lamar Odom remembered that he's 6'10" and should be dominating smaller players in the paint instead of running around out of control and slamming layups off the backboard. Kobe was hampered by the flu, and Gasol didn't play well at all, and the Lakers still left Cleveland with a 10 point victory. Of course, it helped that LeBron went 5 for 20 and seemed to forget how to finish at the basket. He also forgot that when you get a mismatch, it's not real effective to take advantage of that by shooting fadeaways to bail out the defense. Oh well, everyone is entitled to a bad game...this was his.

Clearly, LeBron has had a stronger first half of the season than Kobe. However Cleveland fans, yesterday was the most hyped game of the season, and LeBron laid an egg. MVP voters will now look at Kobe Bryant, who will play possibly the rest of the way without his center, and how could they not give him the MVP if the Lakers finish with the best record in basketball? It would be a shame, but this award never does make sense. First Mo Williams was snubbed twice, will LeBron be next?

In related news, Vladimir Radmanovic, best known for nearly hitting the rafters with every shot attempt, came out and said that "Role players do nothing in Phil Jackson's system." Interesting notion, considering Jordan Farmar, Trevor Ariza, Luke Walton & Sasha Vujacic seem to thrive as role players in this system. Maybe what he meant to say was "Bad players do nothing in this system." Radmanovic is another 6'10" guy who can't defend, and sits behind the arc waiting to launch open threes...a real hot commodity in the NBA. Perhaps he'll have more fun playing on a terrible team that will be down by 20 all the time, thus making his role more important.

Dirty Bird

2009-02-09T12:36:00.003-05:00

GEORGIA - ESPN.com reported today that we've got another post-NFL success story on our hands. Former Falcons overrated running back Jamal Anderson, creator of the famed "Dirty Bird" endzone celebration, was arrested with cocaine and marijuana at a night club Saturday night. The best part about this story is that someone heard the sniffing from the bathroom stall, and snitched to an undercover police officer. When the officer went to check it out, he peered over a locked stall to find Anderson and a 20 year old dude sniffing lines of cocaine off the back of a public toilet.

. God bless drugs, I won't even sit on a public toilet seat, and these assholes are sniffing in cocaine off of something that drunk people pee all over. I'm guessing that this may negatively effect his career as an analyst for ESPN...however Michael Irvin did more cocaine than any NFL player(or coke-head) ever has and he's still got a job with 'em so who knows.

Newzin'

2009-02-09T09:41:00.007-05:00

LeBron's homage to Jason Kidd went a little too far last night going 16-12-8 night on 5 of 20 shooting. Not that Kobe was that much better. (we hope to have more on this.. Rossistron? Hello?)

Tigers Woods' wife gives berth to son. We'll monitor this situation closely as he'll attempt to become most successful white golfer in PGA history.

Terrible effort last night for the Lake Erie Monsters. Why do we think it's important? Well apparently WKNR did, as they aired the AHL game over Cavaliers post-game show.

David Lighty's return to the OSU lineup is not looking good. It's looking for like he'll be a part of the next Thad 5, in 2010. OSU insider

Chris Brown has a funny way of doubling one's pleasure... as he allegedly sent Rihanna to rehab. Chris Brown investigated

BEAT LA!!!

2009-02-08T09:28:00.014-05:00

Today the Pau Gasol-led Los Angeles Lakers (40-9) come to The Q to challenge the Cavs (39-9) undefeated home record. In the last meeting the Lakers were able to dominate the Cavs inside the paint with the combination of Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol. LAL shooting guard Bryant (3 time world champion, 0 time convicted rapist) milked a finger injury all game after touching the rock that is LeBron James early in the 1st quarter. Luckily for #24 he was then able to successfully defer to the higher percentage shooters

.

Today however the tables have been turned as Bynum has been lost for 8-12 weeks and Big Z is back for the C-L-E. The Lakers also just traded VladRad for two awful players in Caucasian Adam Morrison and former Cleveland 1st rounder (and of course BUST) Shannon Brown. Unfortunately LA will likely be without both scrubs as they probably have not turned their heads and coughed while the Laker's team doctor touches them intimately. The Cavs will continue to be without Delonte West (AKA: DHood; Lil Red) and possibly Sasha Pavlovic.

The big question today is if both teams will be making an effort to execute solid basketball on both ends of the floor or if Cavs small forward LeBron James (the best player in basketball for a few years now) will get caught up in a pissing contest with overrated Laker shooting guard Bryant . Many people incorrectly feel that Bryant's ability to make high degree of difficulty field goal attempts make him one of the top two players in thee Association. LeBron tends to try and show people he can make the same ridiculous shots instead of just continuing to beat his defenders to the hoop for And Ones. If LeBron stays out of foul trouble look for him to defend Kobe a lot in the second half and give him the most contested jumpers he can find (even moreso than the awful shots Kobe took against Paul Pierce on Thursday).

This game is going to come down to a combination of which superstar plays better, team rebounding and which team shoots the 3-ball with more accuracy. I'll take the C-L-E by a count of 104-92.Go Cavs, Hopefully the 13 readers of this site notice this is a new opinion as I (Rossitron) am popping my cherry with this, my 1st post.

Memorable Cleveland Reversals

2009-02-07T01:19:00.006-05:00

After LeBron officially registered his 31st double-double on Wednesday night (21st overall in that category, well behind Chris Kaman and Andrew Bogut), it got us thinking about some other memorable about-faces that have unfolded in recent Cleveland sports memory.

Keeping with the theme, CursedCleveland.com would like to take back our patently racist story about the Buckeyes recruiting too many white guys. I'd like to do so many things differently than I originally had with that piece. Like add some insensitive Asian humor, and maybe even go after the Jews. Hindsight is after all, 20/20. That is unless you have alzheimers

.

So here's just a few of Cleveland-related reversals, in honor of LeBron's double-double performance.

BOTTLEGATE - The year was 2001 and Browns fans will forever remember the unforeseen tragedy that culminated with fans lobbing guided missiles in the shape of plastic beer bottles towards the field at Cleveland Browns Stadium. All because the referees overturned a Quincy Morgan catch after a review that arguably should have never been allowed, because a successive play had been run. The hilarious scene that ensued drew the following comments from team President Carmen Policy:

"Those are plastic bottles and I don't think they carry much of a wallop..I don't think this is an example of life and limb being at risk. No one got hurt."

I know what you're thinking: Refs originally thought Quincy Morgan had actually made a key catch in an NFL sanctioned football contest?

RICKY DAVIS' ALMOST TRIPLE DOUBLE - In March of 2003, the Cavs were already in full-scale sabotage mode (Why Jim Paxson didn't get GM of the year for this retroactively, we'll never know). They were playing the Utah Jazz on a night Milt Palacio went off for 20 points and Jumaine Jones exploded for 23. But the headline of the night was "Get Buckets" Davis attempting to get a fraudulent rebound by missing a shot on the wrong basket to complete a triple double. Apparently he didn't realize at the time that you actually miss shots unintentionally, like the King, to get credit for an offensive board. Interesting tidbit, DeShawn Stevenson was having none of it and fouled him. Perhaps that's where his on-going feud with the Cavaliers started.

PHIL SAVAGE FIRED..THEN UNFIRED - In December of 2005, an internal conflict between John Collins and Phil Savage led to reports that circulated on the Browns flagship WTAM 1100 that Savage had been fired after just one year as GM. (They were apparently arguing over which SWAC game Phil would be permitted to scout). Romeo Crennel had allegedly backed Savage in this clash of non-football minds, eventually leading to Collins' forced resignation. It marked the first and last time one of Romeo's schemes actually worked.

Are we missing any others?

The Celtics HATE Playing Good Teams

2009-02-06T12:58:00.012-05:00

BOSTON - I know, I know, the Celtics just aren't the same team without Brian Scalabrine. That goes without saying. I haven't seen Eddie House's kid running around the sidelines lately either. But losing at home to the Lakers, the same team they dismantled in the Finals last year is simply inexcusable. They even managed to lose a nail biter where Kobe Bryant looked more like Coby Karl in overtime. Just a few observations that may make it difficult for this team of primadonnas to repeat:

1.Doc Rivers is, and always has been, a terrible coach. I love seeing him try to motivate his players during timeouts on ESPN, and watching them staring around the arena thinking to themselves "Is he done yet?" Please note: It has been said that a girl or two from my past has thought that very same thing while in bed with me...well actually "Is he done already?" Back to the Celtics...

2.Kevin Garnett talks more shit than any player in the NBA, and simply can't back it up. It's not intimidating to watch you pound your Ethiopian chest and talk to yourself, and it is also not intimidating in the least to watch you float around the key and shoot jumpers or oversell easy put back dunks. Christ, you're 7 feet tall, go to the basket.

3. Every year at the beginning of the year we hear that Paul Pierce has lost weight, and is in the best shape of his life. Unfortunately, his sloppy, unsculpted figure doesn't show it, and neither do his pudgy movements. I'll let him shoot step-back contested jumpers all day long, he couldn't possibly have another miraculous playoff run like he did last year. The stars don't align too often for fat people who flash gang signs (see Christopher Wallace).

4. Kendrick Perkins is bad, Leon Powe is worse, Glen Davis should be in the d-league.

5. It is easily agreeable that there are 3 "elite" teams in the NBA...the Celtics, the Cavaliers & the Lakers. The old men in green, unfortunately, are 1-3 this year against the other two teams. This is a team that thrives on confidence, and if they don't head into the playoffs with plenty of it, look for them to bow out early and the reign of the "Big 3" to come to an abrupt end.

Newzin'

2009-02-06T10:48:00.004-05:00

The PD Opines that this Cavs team is probably the best of all time. Revisionist history at work here. Remember 2000-01, Remember the Clarence Weatherspooon/Chris Gatling/Matt Harpring/Jim Jackson/Robert Traylor/Andre Miller team that started 15-7?

Dan Gilbert calls Mo Williams omission from the all-star game a "stupidiculous, idillogical and preposterageous." He must be learning his vocabulary from his players. All-Star snub.

Terry Pluto did respond our inquiries about LeBron's bogus triple double! "

"Q: Don't you think the triple double was bogus? Wasn't that ninth rebound supposed to go to Ben Wallace?

A: Please, the game was in New York, at Madison Square Garden. The stats guys are from New York. It was the ninth rebound, not the 10th needed for the triple double. Why are we even talking about this?"

So if Bobby Sura's bogus triple double was at the MSG, you wouldn't have had a problem with it like you did back in 2004? You've just been powned Mr. Pluto.

Tressel wants earlier signing today - do white guys sign earlier? (see picture above).

OSU's game with USC is under the lights next season. I was going to make a joke about a loss, but I think we take it.

Flattering piece about the OU Bobcats new coach. You know what they left out? THEIR 11-10 RECORD!! New coach brings intensity to Athens.

There's Nothing Wrong with a Double-Double

2009-02-05T17:02:00.007-05:00

The double-double machine has done it again. For the 31st time this season, the MVP front-runner posted double digit outputs in two key categories. Along with is incredible 52-point effort last night, James was handing out the dimes as well, adding 11 assists. It would have been interesting had James managed to grab 10 rebounds and secured his 21st triple -double.

But contrary to the original reports, he did not, because he apparently skipped coveted rebound No. 9, according to the NBA Fanhouse Blog. Check video as well

"Wallace clearly got that rebound: he had it controlled with one hand, and when David Lee got a little too close, he flipped it to LeBron. You can even hear Mike Breen say "Wallace -- the rebound," before Clyde Frazier looks at his stat monitor and sees that the scorekeeper gave it to James"

There is a precedent for taking away triple-doubles retroactively by league statisticians. In 2004, Bobby Sura intentionally missed a shot to collect a 10th rebound (as if that failed attempt needed premeditation). The NBA removed it from the books the following day.

The Plain Dealer's own Terry Pluto blasted Sura for the move and credited the NBA for doing what was right. Will he speak up this time around with similar fervor. Or will he just write another sanctimonious defense of prayer and organized religion. What do you think? We will be penning a letter to Pluto to find out where he stands on this.

Is Ohio State Recruiting Too Many White Athletes Guys?

2009-02-05T15:04:00.007-05:00

UPPER CLASS SUBURBS, OH - Many of you probably think that the excellent columnist Jason Whitlock has the monopoly on playing the race card. If that's the case, then CursedCleveland.com has the monopoly on playing the race card poorly. But we'll give it a try.

For the second year in a row, Jim Tressel and staff have assembled a top five recruiting class - 1st overall by Scout, 3rd by Rivals, 9th in ESPN's laughable list (*edit - They must have dropped us lower b/c they saw that our roster looked like a booking after a Duke Lacrosse Frat party!) Thanks for the heads up,, and 2nd by Tom Lemming (he does know we aren't Notre Dame right?). Given all of that, you have to be excited about landing two straight top notch classes, especially after the dud in 2007

.

But Hudson, we might have a problem. Should Buckeye fans be worried that the recruiting class photo above looks more like a collage out of West Beverly's yearbook (Ian Ziering bottom right) than a bad ass picture you might see at LSU? Does the name Reid Fragel sound one bit like a player who's going to take charge in the open field - or does it sound more like someone who should be working in a field? I was reassured when saw the name Adam Bellamy that maybe things would be OK, until I realized he too was as pasty as can be. Some of the guys look like they could have auditioned for the part as the Opus Dei Monk in the Da Vinci Code.

Let's take a look a the Caucasian breakdown on some of the other top classes, followed by their percentage of pallidity.

LSU - 5 out of 24: 20.8%
USC - 3 out of 19 (one is a kicker...we'd be more worried if he wasn't white): 15.7%
Bama - 4 out of 27: 14.8%
Texas - 6 out of 20: 30%
Ohio State - 9 out of 25: 36% although not as bad as 2008: 1o out of 20: 50%

In the two national championship losses, it became clear to the rest of the nation that Ohio State could match up with any other team's top five or six guys. But after those players, the Buckeyes lacked the athleticism in the two-deep that other teams boast. So while the last two classes have been well-balanced for Tressel and will likely have the Bucks graduating plenty more to the pros, I'm not sure the Buckeyes are getting any more athletic overall anytime soon.

Peyton Manning Loves the Pro Bowl

2009-02-05T14:14:00.004-05:00

KAPOLEI, HAWAII - According to our friends over at Yahoo, Peyton Manning doesn't treat the Pro Bowl as simply a vacation. Rather, he uses it as a chance to gather information from opposing teams' players and coaches, and also tries to get on the good sides of some of his opponents. Manning said:

"I bought Mario Williams breakfast. See that’s the other thing. I work schemes with the coaches and maybe any player who might be leaving that team, maybe that player will sing a little bit. I work relationships, too, with defensive linemen

. I bought Mario Williams breakfast, so maybe he’ll remember that twice a year. Maybe when he gets that free shot, you know, he won’t drive me into the ground. Like I said, it’s a fun week, but there is work to be done."

Just when I thought I couldn't like this guy anymore, he goes and does something like this. If his play on the field & commercials weren't enough, this interview solidified his place in the "BSmith Man-Crush Hall of Fame (more on this next week)." The only thing I don't like about Manning is that when you're playing against the computer in Madden, and he's the quarterback, he has to audible 4 times on every play, causing me to get pissed off and eventually not play the game. In related news, reports out of Berea claim that while at the Pro Bowl last year, Derek Anderson spent the entire week playing practical jokes on all of the AFC defenses, with an emphasis on Terrell Suggs and the Ravens.

LeBron Vs Kobe, A Comparative Study of MSG Performances

2009-02-04T22:26:00.009-05:00

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - Outside of the Iron Sheik and Gerry McNamara, is there anyone who enjoys a trip to MSG more than Kobe or LeBron? The two most talented players the league has seen since MJ have been able to name their stat lines at the hallowed Garden grounds.

Interesting that Knicks coach Mike 'antoni (not a misprint, you figure it out) actually knows both pretty well from their time in Beijing during the Summer Olympics - yet still decided one-on-one was the optimal way to neutralize the stars

.
In a way, their stat lines in this game properly encapsulated the essence of everything we know about these players, and everything that makes them great (that sounds like an awful Mike and Mike promo). LeBron filled up the stat sheet as usual - as did the guy he defended most the night. While Kobe once again put up huge scoring numbers, and not much else. Both led their teams to a victory, albeit over a a sub-.500 team.

ESPN will no doubt do an Outside the Lines panel discussion with Skip Bayless, Spike Lee, Chris Broussard, John Hollinger and Gloria James' probation officer, comparing and contrasting these performances. We might as well add to the fruitless debate.

Here's what LeBron did better: Had 11 assists and 10 rebounds (the most points with a triple double since 1976). Accounted for 78 points. Lied in the press conference about not knowing how many rebounds he had before his triple double-clinching rebound).

Here's what Kobe did better: Less shots but 9 more points and no miss free throws in 7 less minutes, with a +19 in +/- (LeBron had a +7) . Lied in the press conference about not knowing the MSG scoring record before his record-clinching points.

While some (like Jeff Van Gundy) are touting that LeBron should be getting some defensive player of the year votes (and he's improved exponentially in that area), James was in charge of guarding Al Harrington most the night and down the stretch, Harrington tied his season high with 39 points. Kobe, on the other hand, defended Chris Duhon and was more of a rover for the majority of his game with the Knicks. LeBron was defended by David Lee most the night, while Kobe was checked by Wilson Chandler (never trust a guy who uses the first name of two very popular mid-90's sit-com characters to defend the best players in the game). Very tough to compare apples and oranges, even if we're talking about a game in the Big Apple. So we'll leave it up to you to decide, who ultimately had the better game.

In the end, basketball fans win out, as they get to see Kobe and LeBron square off this Sunday at the Q, as the Lakers try to become the first team give to give the Cavs a home loss. Baseball fans get nothing out of this deal.

Lebron James Scores 52

2009-02-04T22:02:00.004-05:00

NEW YORK - LeBron James went into the Garden this evening and absolutely dominated the helpless Knicks. He didn't reach 61, but clearly put together a better overall performance than Kobe did just two nights ago. Also, he put together a quadruple double...but not the kind we're used to seeing. This particular quadruple double consisted of 52 points, 11 assists, 10 rebounds, and 12 faked injuries. Quite an impressive stat-line for the football player from Akron. He put up 33 shots, which is much higher than we've come to expect, but you can't argue with it when you convert on 17 of them. The Knicks may be the worst defensive team I've ever seen, and I'm fairly certain that Rodney Rodgers could drive to the basket on Tim Thomas. Regardless, another big road win for the Cavs...next up they'll meet Kobe and the Lakers on Sunday. Stay tuned to CursedCleveland.com for a live blog of Sunday's game.

So Much for the Report About Marlon Brown to Ohio State

2009-02-04T12:27:00.012-05:00

~~MEMPHIS, TN - According to a report out of Knoxville, the Buckeyes may have just landed the second best wide receiver in the nation~~

****EDIT AT 3:55 - Yep, HE CHOSE GEORGIA. That makes three kids in two years that have burned OSU at the 11th hour. (Josh Jenkins, Tajh Boyd and Marlon Brown).

Here's the innacurate report from earlier today:

WNML radio in Knoxville says that according to a source, the 6-foot-5 receiver Marlon Brown from Harding Academy in Memphis will sign with Ohio State this afternoon over Tennessee, Georgia and Ole Miss.

Marlon Brown told reporters yesterday that he'd have to sleep on his decision. When asked about each of the prospective teams in the mix:

On Ole Miss, he simply stated, "(Rebels quarterback) Jevan Snead."
On Tennessee: "It's Tennessee. It's Tennessee football."
On Georgia: "Coach (Mark) Richt."
On Ohio State: "Coach ~~Jim Bollman~~ (Jim) Tressel."

The Bucks' impressive recruiting class was ranked No. 1 by both Scout and Rivals heading into the day. Brown will formally make his decision at a 3:45 press conference. If you can't log onto Bucknuts at 3:46, that probably means this report was inaccurate.

________________________________________________________
Buckeyes Recruiting Tracker via Bucknuts. (Let's play the scouting-by-photo game. I can tell you five guys that will never see the field for OSU based solely on their recruiting photo. Try to guess which ones!)

Climactic Night for LeBron & Kobe...and Me

2009-02-04T12:11:00.008-05:00

NEW YORK, NY - LeBron is heading to the Big Apple this evening (no no, not for good yet), just two nights after Kobe dropped 61 on the Knicks in a masterful performance where he needed only 37 minutes and shot 61% from the floor. This wasn't one of his typical outbursts, where critics sit back and say he was selfish and didn't get his teammates involved. Gasol went for 31, and Kobe was simply unstoppable. When the best player in the game has it going

, he shouldn't be giving up the ball... bottom line. Also, instead of promoting a new limited edition shoe in the game, he just went ahead and dominated. He even had the Knicks fans chanting MVP...but LeBron did that last year too. I suppose this is the result of having terrible teams year in and year out, maybe next year they'll be chanting for Stephon Marbury, when he's a member of another squad of course.

LeBron played incredibly well last night against the Raptors, including a big time rejection of Chris Bosh that had even coach Mike Brown baffled. Tonight, LeBron travels to Madison Square Garden, and in response to a question about whether or not he would beat Kobe's mark he said “I just go out and play my game. “I’m not a video game where you can just expect me to go out there and score 60 or 70.” If we're being grammatically correct, it isn't the video game that scores the points, and we're clearly aware that you're not a video game, you're a person. Thus, this reply makes no sense, and should have been reworded to state "This isn't a video game, you can't expect me to just go out there and score 60 or 70 points." But let's not talk symantics...of course LeBron wants to match Kobe, or hopefully outdo him. It's called competition, and right now, there's still a heated debate over who's the best player on the planet. We won't argue this either way...of course we have in the past, a few times. In retrospect, we seem to find a way to argue that Kobe's the best in 75-80 percent of all of our posts...weird!

Also on tap for tonight, Kobe Bryant takes his hobbled Lakers squad into Toronto, the site that hosted the greatest scoring performance since Wilt Chamberlain when Bryant popped in 81 on them in January of '06. Kobe is the only player in the game today who you can watch the first 3 minutes of a game, watch him hit a few jumpers, and then feel compelled to call your friends because you think this might be the night that he goes for 100+. He just has that look in his eye, that hunger, that fire that makes you want to see him succeed. Tonight could be one of those nights, the Raptors have nobody who can come close to stopping him, and they're on the second night of a back-to-back...and they're terrible, and play in Canada, and have ugly uniforms, you get the point.

So who will score more points tonight? More importantly, who's team will come out with a victory? I can't wait, and thanks to our friends over at Channelsurfing.net, I can watch the Lakers game on the computer and the Cavs on the tv. Also, the Cavs will play the Lakers on national television this Sunday for the last time this regular season, and there's no doubt that it will be up to these two men to carry their teams into the NBA Finals matchup that everyone is hoping for. It's a simple debate really....will you be betting on Bron's red shoes, or the black mamba? Here at CursedCleveland.com, we always bet on black.

Browns Fans are Gluttons for Punishment

2009-02-04T11:17:00.002-05:00

CLEVELAND - In the two-week lead-up to the Super Bowl, some fans let it be known on local sportstalk radio that they were not going to watch the Steelers win their sixth Super Bowl Title. Well the numbers are in, and not only can we consider the majority of these middle-aged talk show callers "losers" but also "liars."

In fact, a higher percentage of Cleveland viewers tuned in to watch Kurt Warner trip over his offensive lineman than Cardinals fans did in Phoenix. True story!

53.6/79: Pittsburgh
52.6/72: Norfolk
50.6/71: Jacksonville
50.4/68: Buffalo
49.3/67: Richmond
49.2/70: Tampa
48.1/68: Ft. Myers
47.7/69: Cleveland
47.5/80: Phoenix
47.4/65: Indianapolis

We find it pretty amazing that Pittsburgh earned a 79 share. Not because we're blown away by a 79, but because we're flabbergasted that 21 percent of people weren't watching the Super Bowl.

Newzin'

2009-02-04T10:43:00.003-05:00

Cavs have to hold off Raptors late. Afterwards James says, "I'm getting better every year and getting better every day and not taking a day off." The Orlando Magic laugh at this notion. James Dazzles in win. Winhorst also again touts LeBron's defense. We get it Brian, you actually want LeBron to earn more than one vote for the all-defensive team. We get it

.

Had this guy been hired at CSU in 96 (like had been rumored), the program would have been in much better shape. Moran keeps Blue Streaks Sizzling

So now the UFC has a "Dentist," an "Athlete," a "Barbarian," and now a Lobbyist. No really. UFC doesn't want a federal submission hold.

I've never understood why pitchers report to spring training first. Considering durability issues, they should be the last. No drop off for Cliff Lee

It's signing day. Do you know where your oral commitments are? Buckeyes are No. 1 if both Scout and Rivals enterting today.

Where Are They Now: David Wesley

2009-02-03T12:26:00.005-05:00

WACO, TX - Brought in as a designated shooter to complement the King, David Wesley became just another outside shooter and miss-er; part of a seemingly neverending list of guys who actually got worse when paired with LeBron (see Lucious Harris, J.R. Bremer and Larry Hughes). He shot 29 percent in his one year in Cleveland.

We haven't seen the guy who famously showed NBA fans where the bottom of the backboard was with an uncontested layup,

and were beginning to worry that he violated his parole (you know, for that whole reckless driving thing). As it turns out, he's an assistant coach with the Baylor basketball team.

So by proxy, does that make him a part of the Dave Bliss coaching tree? We always hear about where the successful coaches' assistants turn up. But what about the assistants of Larry Eustachy or Jan van Breda Kolff? I'd love to know if these guys are in jail, or just celling cell phones in the mall.

Past editions
Where are they now: Marty Cordova

Newzin'

2009-02-03T09:21:00.003-05:00

"The Indians not only believe, but are banking on, that Wood can make a Dennis Eckersley-like transformation from the rotation to the pen." We're thinking he'll be more like Dave Dravecky. Team betting on Wood.

"I've decided to seek professional treatment." I guess Boone is heading to pros for something, even if it may not be football Alex Boone issues a statement.

LeBron's player

of the month award is overshadowed by the player of our generation. James wins POM.

They should call it an NIT bracket buster. CSU facing 9-12 Wichita State.

After realizing that OSU is operating in the red and that the Shot has five thousand empty seats per game, Buckeye basketball is now selling tickets for $5. I'm more concerned about how they're going to fill the three empty seats on the bench next year.

Alex Boone Doing Wonders for His Draft Stock

2009-02-03T00:21:00.005-05:00

ALISO VIEJO, CA - Formerly the most coveted offensive lineman recruit in the nation, Alex Boone was arrested once again in an embarrassing alcohol-related incident. The Buckeyes senior offensive lineman apparently thought he was at the draft combine as he was apparently "jumping on car hoods, yanking on tow truck cable and trying to break a window." It's the biggest workout he's had in years.

Much like like an SEC defensive end

, police ran right around the 6-foot-8, 312-pounder as they surrounded him and eventually subdued him with a taser. From five-stars to five volts, things have gone horribly bad for Boone. He was arrested on suspicion of DUI after his freshman year at OSU. At least he learned from his lesson after the first arrest; this time no car was involved. Although authorities say "His blood-alcohol level was at least three times the legal amount."

Somehow Boone was able to escape at one point but was later found hiding under ~~Steve Rehring~~ a patio. One could argue this is the first time Boone has demonstrated that he might actually belong in the NFL.

Referee Ramblings...

2009-02-02T14:00:00.008-05:00

Having witnessed another big moment in sports riddled with controversy, I can't help but rant a little bit about the impact that referees have on sports today. First, let me say that the Steelers were the better team, there's no doubting that, and probably deserved to win that Super Bowl. However, admitting in full that my opinion may be biased due to my hatred for the Steelers, there were just too many things left up to the officials that seemed "swayed" in some way

.

How did James Harrison not get thrown out of the game for his near felony against Ben Fransisco? How on earth can you call roughing the holder? How is there no flag for excessive celebration on Santonio Holmes when "Using the ball as a prop" is an automatic 15 yard penalty? How can you call roughing the passer on Karlos Dansby on a play where he hit Roethlisberger legally right after he released the ball? How can you not review the last play of the game? Those are way too many legitimate questions to be asking after a game of this magnitude.

I get it, it's nearly impossible to correctly referee NFL & NBA games, but first we have an NBA ref get caught cheating, and now we've had countless controversial mistakes made by referees this season in the NFL. It wasn't bad enough that the Heat won a title based solely on poor officiating (And a Mavericks team that seemed like they were paid to lose), but now we've got two Steelers titles that supposedly have asterisks by them. It's getting to the point where in another year or two we may have every single play reviewed from a booth upstairs, and we'll be watching 6 hour long games, with even more terrible commercials. It's unfair to the fans to have games decided by the inadequacies of 65-75 year old men.

With all of that nonsense being stated, I'm not blaming this game on the referees. If Kurt Warner doesn't throw that pick in the end zone Arizona wins, end of story. Well, actually if you take away the ridiculous penalties, Arizona wins the game as well, so maybe I am blaming it on them. The Steelers are the champions of their second Penalty Bowl...congratulations!

Newzin'

2009-02-02T10:21:00.004-05:00

Tony Grossi says Pittsburgh owes their Super Bowl to Ohio. How to Spell Championship O-H-I-O.

Cavs make big run with King on the bench. Williams and Gibson push Cavs

Windhorst calls Cavs win a "quality road victory" - nothing like somehow managing to fend off a team that's 13-11 at the Palace. Sorry if we're not impressed.

Norm Chad is pretty funny. "2:32: Returning from a Cheetos break, I hear Costas literally say, "Meanwhile, back on Earth." I assume I missed a Kurt Warner feature."

and.. 9:13: I didn't realize the Steelers not only travel with their own fans, they also bring their own officials.
Apparently even the Buckeyes aren't recession-proof. OSU budget shortfall.

I guss we finally know how the Sopranos ends. Silvio joins some lame band with another 60-year-old over-the-hill rocker and does karaoke while sporting an embarrassing bandana. And even that's a better ending then what we were treated to in the series.

If may have just looked like porn when Santonio Holmes got all excited after the catch. Porn interrupts Super Bowl.

Bruce Arians Goes From Browns Rags to Riches

2009-02-02T00:54:00.012-05:00

TAMPA BAY - The question of whether or not it could get any worse for Cleveland Browns fans got a definitive answer yesterday, when disgraced offensive coordinator Bruce Arians and the hated Steelers secured yet another Super Bowl victory. The one saving grace might have been that Tim Tebow's name wasn't mentioned once during the entire broadcast. Here are some of CursedCleveland.com's carefully constructed postgame notes.

Props to Santonio Holmes for getting all three of his feet down in the endzone. Don't act like you know what I'm talking about, considering the photo I posted earlier this week. The guy is a flat-out play maker, and when the cameras are on, nobody let's it all hang out like Holmes. OK I promise I'm done.

Nice of Kurt Warner to not thank Jesus after the tough loss. Is there something we should know about Kurt? Like the fact that the women you're married to now bears little resemblance to women you were married to nine years ago. Perhaps he illegally downloaded a torrent of Religulous and is no longer a believer.

NBC's coverage was much better than Fox's version of the college football national title game. A few problems though. First, can we please design a graphic for a first down that's ANY color other than YELLOW? You know, the same color that even ancient Mesopotamians would identify with a penalty flag. Every time the Cards would pick up a first down, I would just assume it was penalty (OK, bad example).

Also, stop shifting camera angles when the teams get inside the five yard line. We as football fans have been conditioned over the years to view the game from a certain perspective. You don't see them adjusting to the sideline view for a field goal, so why are they changing lens positioning on us in the biggest game of the year in key situations? Although you know who's vantage point didn't change the whole game? Matt Leinart's.

And please stop telling us in Super Bowl games about "Super Bowl records." There's only been 43 of these games played. There's a new record set in just about every regular season game...and there's been more than 10,000 of them over the years. So yeah, when Ralph Brown makes a Super Bowl tackle, it's no surprise when the Elias Sports Bureau notifies us that he's the worst player in Super Bowl history to make a tackle.

And on that last play, no, I don't think the Steelers' win is tainted or anything like that. However, the play absolutely has to be reviewed. Why in the world can't Arizona use their last challenge, regardless of when the play occurs in the game? Given James Harrison's celebration penalty, the Cards would have had the ball around the 30 yard line. Not to mention they have the best jump ball receiver in football outside of Terrelle Pryor. It would have been very interesting to see one last chance at a ~~Kurt Warner stumble and subsequent trip over his offensive lineman's feet~~ hail mary play.

Corky Made a Bad Decision...

2009-02-01T15:03:00.004-05:00

DOWNSSYNDROMEVILLE, USA - According to ESPN.com, Michael Phelps admitted that the pictures of him pretending to be 17 years old again and ripping off of the bong were in fact real. Oh, he's sorry for his actions by the way. This isn't the first time this asshat has embarassed himself and his family, as he was arrested for drunk driving when he was 19 years old

.

The fact of the matter is this: This guy is a complete tool, and has been his entire life. He looks mildly retarded, and probably got made fun of a lot growing up. Now he's in the media spotlight, and is doing things that he couldn't possibly have done when he was supposed to be "experimenting." When the cooler kids were out partying, drinking and driving and getting high, he was probably masturbating in the pool.

Now he's this big olympic champion, as if anyone gives a shit about the olympics or swimming, and all the temptations in the world are there for this loser. As long as I don't see any headlines about him sleeping with hot famous chicks, I don't care what happens to this big toothed freak.

Does CursedCleveland.com Owe Patrick McManamon an Apology?

2009-02-01T01:50:00.009-05:00

"I apologize for writing it was painted over. I was wrong. That's what I was told, and it came from several people who reasonably assumed that's what happened. That's no excuse for me; I was wrong." - Patrick McManamon

BEREA, OH - A week ago today, ABJ columnist Pat McManamon ignited a public firestorm when he wrote that the, "The Browns are painting walls and painting over murals of their hall of famers." (Brian Windhorst would never make such a mistake... the Cavs have no such wall, or even enough players to necessitate such a commemorative structure)

.

That story about the now famous mural was first modified by OBR on Wednesday. They wrote, "sources inside Berea tell us the mural is not actually getting painted over as it is getting moved."

CursedCleveland.com then proceeded to write a hilarious piece about the mix-up. Going even so far as to say that McManamon owed the Browns organization an apology for jumping the gun and writing critically about the Browns layoffs - something happening all around the NFL and from what I'm told, even in other professions.

Since then, Patrick McManamon has been making more media rounds than Ron Blagojevich. He first appeared on a message board issuing a quasi-mea culpa (yet failed to choose an avatar). He then made his way over to the piece we authored, the one titled "Does Patrick McManamon owe the Browns an apology?"

I gotta admit, he's a stand-up guy:

"I apologize for writing it was painted over. I was wrong. That's what I was told, and it came from several people who reasonably assumed that's what happened. That's no excuse for me; I was wrong."

After closely analyzing all that's been written about the Berea Wall, it's pretty clear the Browns are reversing course based on the public and media reaction. While we still think Pat's giving the new management as much of a chance as Rush is giving the new Obama administration, it's a little alarming the way we've heard the media speak about Mangini and friends. Of course the fact remains, nobody will care about any of this if this team is in contention at any point.

But thanks to Pat McManamon for not running and hiding. Very cool for him to take to all the various internet stops to clear things up (unless his next appearance is on my Adultfriendfinder page, then we've got problems).

Mike Bianchi Does His Best CursedCleveland.com Impression

2009-01-30T19:10:00.008-05:00

ORLANDO, FL - As if last night's drubbing at the hands of the Magic wasn't bad enough, now their hometown columnist is doing the obligatory LeBron-is-gone column. He writes from experience, as he attempted to document

"Remember when Shaq bolted Orlando for Tinseltown because he wanted to make movies and hobnob with the stars in Hollywood? Just another reason for Clevelanders to worry about LeBron signing with the Knicks... It's bad enough the Browns stink, the Indians haven't won a World Series in 60 years and Cleveland is now being battered with near-record snowfall. Now fans have to dread the day they wake up and read the headline: "LeBron Is Gone!"

Alright buddy, you know damn well that Skip Bayless, CursedCleveland, Soulja Boy, DeShawn Stevenson and sometimes Bud Shaw have the monopoly on LeBron bashing and/or ruminating about his eventual departure. But Bianchi missed out on some key similarites between Shaq and the King.

Both are terrible free throw shooters.

Both are so physically dominant that the NBA has no idea how to officiate them

Both defer to Kobe in late game situations when the NBA Title or olympic gold medal is on the line.

But I digress. Bianchi also brought up how LeBron failed to sign the full extension allotted to him. The consensus around the league was that it was a business-savvy decision to capitalize on a new collective bargaining agreement and to make more money down the road, and that all other stars would follow suit (which Dwyane Wade did) . However, Dwight Howard opted to sign the full five year extension, the same one available to LeBron. He said right there and then that he wanted to retire an Orlando Magic, something LeBron has never said (about Orlando or Cleveland).

I don't spend too much time worrying about whether or not LeBron will stay or go (despite the half hour it took me to write this entry). But the fact remains, when all is said and done, LeBron's #23 will be the eighth jersey added to the rafters at the Q (Big Z will be the 7th, and can you believe a team that's only been to the finals once in its history has more retired numbers than Ohio State football?).

Santonio Holmes Reveals Even More

2009-01-30T12:34:00.006-05:00

TAMPA BAY, FLA - It's been a pretty tame Super Bowl week, with the exception of Steelers WR Santonio Holmes not-so-shocking admission that he sold drugs when he was in school:

"My friends were always doing it, and I felt comfortable doing it at the time," Holmes said. "As the years (passed), I just felt like that wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to play football. I don't want to end up like a lot of my friends: in jail, standing on the corner, not going to school."

The story goes on to say that Holmes avoided detection by going to school then heading out to sell. That's for all you Tressel haters that say his kids don't go to class! We're wondering how Holmes was able to differentiate between a corner route and a street corner

.

And because we've been labeled as Buckeye apologists on this site, here's some negativity: When I think Santonio Holmes and his Ohio State career, it still amazes me that a team with Holmes, Ginn, Pittman and Troy Smith running the show managed a whopping 10 points in Happy Valley and couldn't break into the top 20 offenses in college football that year. I still argue that talent wise, it was Tressel's best team and it should have won a title. Nice job Ryan Hamby and Jim Bollman.

Newzin'

2009-01-30T09:31:00.004-05:00

Cavs really demonstrated their outrage last night over Wiliams all-star snub, by getting outplayed in every facet of the game. Jameer Nelson went 4-6 from three. Cavs livid.

LeCharles Bentley greets each camper with 10 second highlight reel of his Browns career. Bentley opens up lineman academy.

If Bruce Arians could get another shot, why not Mo Carthon? Former coordinator wants another shot.

Some more recruits OSU probably won't be getting as we get closer to NLOID. Bucks seek two more prospects.

"I'm not knocking teams that take lots of transfers," he said. "It has worked very well for Kent State, and I still can't believe all the success they've had over the years. But I wanted to try it this way." Love backhanded compliments from Damrot. Zips succeed without JUCO transfers.

Not sure if this documentary on OSU fandom is a drama, a comedy, or a horror film. Across the field.

Cavs drop a heartbreaker...

2009-01-29T22:38:00.005-05:00

ORLANDO, FL - The Cavs came out strong tonight, but simply couldn't keep up the intensity in the second half to hold off the Magic. It didn't help matters that these assholes couldn't miss, and shot 31 three pointers, cashing in on 11 of them. Wally Sczerbiak played a spirited first half, and when's the last time you remember seeing 4 consecutive possessions with a "Wally Iso" play called?...had to be some time in middle school. Lebron played a terrible game, going 10 of 27 from the floor, but this is mostly in part to my pregame article jinxing him in this contest.

Tiger Woods was in attendance, and was sporting the first Nike shirt ever made. He must have been happy with the way his hometown squad played, and is probably also happy to be going home to one of the hottest girls on the planet right now. Mike Brown was t'd up in the 3rd quarter after LeBron got fouled for the 50th time and didn't get the call, and it was all downhill from there. The Magic went on a 12-0 run at the end of the 3rd quarter and into the 4th, and the Cavs never recovered. Tarence Kinsey, who's packing a pair of bird legs that rival only those of Daffy Duck, was injured late in the game after valiantly tripping over himself, which adds to the depth problems that the Cavs have been dealing with of late.

It should be nice to get Big Z back tomorrow night against the helpless Clippers, who recently got Baron Davis and Marcus Camby back from injuries. Like I said earlier, this was a tough game for the Cavs, and things will be different next time they play with their full squad. On a positive note, I picked the Magic in ESPN's Streak for the Cash tonight, and don't look now but somebody's got a 3 game streak going!

NBADraft.net Disses B.J. Mullens

2009-01-29T18:31:00.007-05:00

COLUMBUS, OH - After just 19 games into his college career, it appears the only decision OSU center B.J. Mullens will be making this summer is whether or not to sign a lease at Olentangy Commons or to stay on-campus. That after the gold standard of NBA mock draft sites decided that the seven-footer has slipped to third in their latest rankings...in 2010. As if drawing the NBA comparison to Chris Kaman wasn't bad enough, the former No. 1 projected pick in 2009 has now been bounced out of the entire draft completely.

Most expected the No. 1 ranked high school player in the country (by Rivals) to come in and make an immediate impact. Instead, he's averaging 4.5 rebounds per game, while 6'7'' Evan Turner is grabbing 7 a game. Reserve guard and blogger Mark Titus is averaging just just four less a game, but is getting thousands of more hits than Cursedcleveland and WaitingForNextYear combined.

Let's go back and take a look at what NBAdraft.net had to say about Mullens back in August of 2007, with my brief commentary in bold.

"Bigman with a smooth offensive repertoire in pre-game warmups, Enjoys contact and fights for boards fighting and getting are two remotely different things… Athletic, good explosiveness in pre-game warmups... Has a good feel for the game while he's watching from the bench... Very good post skills with the ability to face the basket and hit shots out to the perimeter which is why he's averaging 9 ppg on an NIT-bound team... Creates a big target inside Solid rebounder and, understands how to box out just like Rod Blogojevich knows hot to govern… Uses the glass well a là Tim Duncan.. and has the skin complexion of Gregg Popovich"

Considering Kosta Koufos received a lot of flack for his lack of rebounding, bat least he was putting up around 15 and 7 and 5 a game (no, not 5 assists, 5 total passes). Like Kufos, perhaps he is gearing up for a post-season run, in the NIT. At least this is one Ohio State player that Mike Conley Sr. won't have to worry about representing.

Cavs have a big game tonight...

2009-01-29T15:53:00.007-05:00

ORLANDO, FLORIDA - The Cavs travel out of this miserable weather tonight to Amway Arena to take on what Danny Granger says is "The best team in the East." You know who isn't the best team in the East, or anywhere close? You guessed it, the Pacers. Perhaps there was some serious damage done to Granger's brain when he had his front teeth smashed out a few months ago. Anyhow, back to the Cavs, who can make a statement tonight by defeating a team that has owned them of late. Orlando has won 4 of 5 against the wine & gold, and this is despite the fact that Bron has averaged 29, 10 & 9 against them last year.

Let's not read too much into tonight's result, the Cavs have nothing to lose here. They're going on the road, without their center and starting two guard to face one of the league's hottest teams. If they lose, they've got those crutches, and if they win it's a huge psychological boost for this team. Bench points will be something to watch for tonight, as Orlando's bench is very weak and they play a short rotation. LeBron has dominated the past two games, and pretty much all year long, and if he and Mo Williams show up tonight like they did against Sacramento, it might not matter who else is on the floor with them. The Cavs will look to some young players, J.J. Hickson will likely be used to put a body on Dwight Howard through certain stretches. Stay tuned to CursedCleveland.com for post-game thoughts.

Simply Inferior

2009-01-29T13:17:00.006-05:00

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - Ok, so I did it, I stayed up until 3:30 Eastern Time to watch this matchup last night, and I can hardly keep my eyes open at the moment. I thought about doing a live blog, but I was hardly awake and at that time if you're not a free porn site you can't expect many hits. The best part of the entire broadcast was Dick Enberg's montage at the beginning, giving fans of Roddick a glimmer of hope that this may be the year that he turns the corner. This reminds me, should anyone besides Dick Enberg, Brent Musberger or Bob Costas be allowed to do the monologues for big sporting events? These guys could make you excited to watch a wheelchair badminton tournament.

Back to Roddick vs. Federer...this matchup is one that is incredibly intriguing and I can't figure out why. Federer has been so dominant that it makes me wonder why Andy hasn't just quit the game all together. Yet, every year he works harder, comes back with some new coach or body style, and gets his ass kicked again. I think what makes Roddick so likeable is his immaturity, he's always so quick to tell an umpire to "Have some sack, dude" like he did last night, horrifying the announcers on the live broadcast. He's human. He has flaws, other than his weak ass looping forehand that Federer owns. It's a feeling Cleveland Browns fans know well, you know...playing against a bitter rival that is superior to you in every sense. The Brownies, much like Roddick, show signs that they can compete, but then a clutch situation arrives and the dominance returns. Roethlisberger will roll out of a sure sack and complete a first down pass, right as Federer is hitting an impossible passing shot that leaves the announcers screaming "Come on, that's just not fair." It's disheartening, and difficult to watch at times.

Federer may be the coolest man on the planet. He does nothing but praise Roddick, make fun of Djokovic, and beat on everyone in his path (Well except for Nadal, who he'll face in the title game unless something ridiculous happens). He is gracious in victory and defeat, quiet tempered, and so calm under pressure he almost seems like a robot. I want to hate this guy, for continually knocking the most entertaining player in the sport out of majors, and embarassing him in the process, but I simply can't. He's just a nice guy, he and Kurt Warner should go fishing next week after the Super Bowl and just talk about puppies and rainbows and peace on earth.

Newzin'

2009-01-29T10:02:00.004-05:00

The braintrust of Carmen Policy and Dwight Clark somehow missed out on Kurt Warner back in 1999. Didn't Kendall Lewis want Akili Smith? Nobody was listening to it didn't matter. Bypassed by Browns.

Danny Granger says the Magic are the best team in the East "hands down." He gave interview while taking an ill-advised shot. He's no Magic act.

A Maurice Carthon-coached team is in the Super Bowl. I guess that's what happens when your backfield doesn't consist of Trent Dilfer and Reuben Droughns. Carthon lands on feet.

Study shows rape numbers dropping linked to internet pornography. We can't speak for any other website, but we know we haven't raped anyone in awhile. In defense of internet pornography.

Miami of Ohio recruit turns down Tressel. Have they checked with Mount Union yet? Austin Boucher turns down Ohio State.

Iraqi presidents to visit OSU. Columbus student will show them what burning possessions and terrorizing opposing fan bases is all about.

Patrick McManamon takes break from trashing Browns to tell us that concussions take toll on NFL players.

The Obvious Choice

2009-01-28T23:42:00.006-05:00

OAKLAND, CA - Tom Cable has officially been named the head coach of the illustrious Oakland Raiders. Cable was named the interim coach after the sudden firing of Lane Kiffin earlier this season. This latest move has Raider fans holding their head like they just finished running suicides. Clearly Al Davis saw the recent hirings...and thought it would be best to hire a coach without any coordinator experience at the NFL level. Tom Cable was the head coach at the University of Idaho, his alma mater, from 2000–2003. At Idaho, Cable compiled a record of 11–35 (.239) in four straight losing seasons. The Vandals surprisingly did not renew Cable's contract at the conclusion of the 2003 season, and he quickly parlayed his success to become the offensive line coach for the Raiders.

Who didn't see this move coming? It was obvious that Cable was the front runner right? I have to say I'm not surprised, Davis loves to draft terrible players and give them huge contracts. This has been a well documented recipe for franchise failure in the NFL, and also in Madden. Maybe Al Davis is a damn psychic and saw a winning resemblance in this guy that the rest of the league could not. Although the only resemblance I see is that of Tom Arnold. It is uncertain who Cable will hire as his staff, but I'd venture to say that he'll be the least accomplished of the group...unless he decides to snag one of the Browns' estranged coaches from 2008. We should feel sorry for the Raiders, but lets not forget the team we root for every Sunday fucking sucks too. In conclusion, I have nothing left to say because I just caught word that there is a new Hannah Montana video.

Does Patrick McManamon Owe the Browns an Apology?

2009-01-28T19:35:00.006-05:00

AKRON LEAKING URINAL - Even though we constantly poke fun at some of the local beat writers, we'll admit that Northeast Ohio is home to some of the very best (does anyone cover the Mid-American Conference like Elton Alexander, or Cleveland State athletics like Joe Maxse?). But we're a little concerned that a former Cleveland Browns employee has an axe to grind with the organization - and no, it's not former PR director Ken Mather. Ok yes it is, but we'll get to that next week.

Instead, we're talking about ABJ browns beat writer/columnist Patrick McManamon. Earlier this week, he eviscerated the Browns over the alleged removal of a mural commemorating past Hall of Famers and for the announcement of layoffs within the organization. The fine people at the Ohio and Brown Report have debunked the whole mural mess.

"sources inside Berea tell us the mural is not actually getting painted over as it is getting moved. This appears to have been the plan from the beginning rather than a last-minute scramble to overcome negative public reaction. "

As for the layoffs, it's sad to see many good people out of a job. But the often vilified Lerner isn't alone. The Colts, Redskins, Patriots and NFL have all done the exact same thing - using the economy has a justification. Going back in history, McManamon wrote a little more glowingly about the organization when Savage was hired, although to be fair, that was when he worked for the organization.

We'd hate to see what he writes about the ABJ when ~~its~~ he's gone in a few years.

America Loves Kobe...So Does China..Not LeBron!

2009-01-28T13:35:00.010-05:00

LOS ANGELES, CA - According to ESPN.com, Kobe Bryant's #24 jersey is atop the sales list once again, while LeBron James' #23 came in a modest third. Also, in China, Kobe again reigns supreme, while LeBron's jersey slipped down to fifth on the esteemed list. Do you realize that Kobe's jersey sells more than Yao Ming's in his own fucking country...he's the biggest star in the country and Kobe owns him, and occasionally dunks over him and stuffs his shots. It's funny that in the year that LeBron has taken over in the eyes of many as the world's greatest player, he still can't touch Kobe in the eyes of the fans.

Over the past year, LeBron has tried so valiantly to have a personality of his own and to get himself out there...you know with the 300 commercials and public appearances. Meanwhile, Kobe has hit the gym, stayed out of the media spotlight and led his team to a league best record. Looks like working your ass off at your trade really does pay off, both with your game and with the fans. Looking back at the Olympics, even though LeBron was the flashiest player there, the Chinese fans were enamoured with Kobe Bryant, and he clearly was the one these little people were there to see. He came back hungry, led his team to a victory over the Cavaliers a few weeks ago, and now has eclipsed everyone else in the jersey sales department. What else is left for Kobe to do better than LBJ this year? Wouldn't it be something if the Lakers beat the Cavs in the NBA Finals, and then Kobe was named #1 in People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People list the next week? He could win the ESPY for player of the year, win the MVP award, have Gloria James start showing up at Lakers games and perhaps a billboard can go up in Cleveland of Kobe & Pedro Cerrano both doing their "Marbles" celebrations side by side. Looks like the Mamba isn't ready to pass the torch yet, meanwhile I'm off to nbastore.com to pick up my 500th Kobe Bryant jersey to make sure he stays on top!

Newzin'

2009-01-28T09:39:00.003-05:00

Mo Williams making his case for an all-star bid, LeBron goes triple and dub in win, but Kings score 110 and shoot 50 percent. No defense, no problem.

"Opposing coaches this season have praised Ohio State's matchup zone as one of the best in the country. " Well considering even Temple isn't playing matchup zone, that shows how effective this junk defense really is. Matta won't change philosophy.

In wake of Boyd's defection, Buckeyes going after Miami of Ohio commit. How the mighty have fallen. Are we sure they've scoured the rest of the MAC for able throwers? Buckeyes offer Austin Boucher.

Wedge says Ryan Garko will be playing some outfield. According to Garko's wiki - his favorite NBA team is the Lakers. Just putting it out there. Indians Insider.

OSU vs Michigan has been relegated to the Big Ten Network, again. Despite OSU cancellation, game is on.

Browns GM George Kokinis Has A Twitter

2009-01-28T00:03:00.005-05:00

BEREA - Who knew that new Browns GM George Kokinis has been sending out tweets left and right since ~~Eric Mangini~~ Randy Lerner hired him on Sunday? We hope this is evidence enough that yes, the Browns are evolving with the times and learning from their mistakes (the whole Baltimore personnel guy-as-GM and Belichick coaching tree spawn-as-head coach thing notwithstanding). Next thing you know they'll be bringing in the Max Weinberg 7 for in-game entertainment to make up for the noticeable void of a late night comedy show band at Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Make sure to click on image.

Tajh Boyd Bails on OSU

2009-01-27T18:01:00.007-05:00

COLUMBUS - The last remaining prized QB recruit in this year's class chose Clemson over Ohio State and Oregon. Although this guy commits to a football program like Lindsey Lohan commits to a sexual orientation. It's the third team he's decided to play for in the last year, originally picking West Virginia then Tennessee. The message boards are understandably in meltdown mode, and all this hysteria over an athlete coming off a torn ACL.

Buckeyes now go into next season with only two quarterbacks on scholarship (although one watching the Fiesta Bowl might think otherwise considering the ducks flying out of Terrelle Pryor's arm - when he wasn't running out of bounds four yards short of the first down marker). Pryor's highly publicized last-minute announcement notwithstanding, Jim Tressel is turning into a worse closer than Jack Lemmon in Glengarry Glen Ross, remember how he lost Josh Jenkins to... umm.. West Virginia last year? Remember Fred Davis from USC?

Although tough to be too critical considering OSU's class is ranked 2nd on Scout and 3rd on Rivals. But if you're looking for optimism, you should have never left BuckeyeCommentary. I'm sure they'll tell you that the Buckeyes weren't blown out against LSU.

So Glad This Happened...

2009-01-27T15:13:00.004-05:00

Providence, R.I. - College basketball has certainly been interesting to watch lately...first Wayne Chism from Tennessee got tech'd up for taunting a coach, then Chase Budinger got his head stepped on, now this! Providence guard Jeff Xavier was hit in the face on his way to the hoop on January 17th, and when no foul was called his brother(who looks an awful lot like Harold Baines) went ahead and jumped over the bench and confronted the ref about the no-call.

Good for him! It was a fucking foul, the dude got hit in the face, and the 90 year old ref missed the call.

Here's what I don't get, if you're going to have a game where really fast black guys are moving up and down a court at ridiculous speeds, why would you have really slow, old, white people trying to keep up with them to ref the game? Wouldn't it make more sense to have equally fast, young black people ref the games? Or perhaps robots? Anything but old white guys...this is getting ridiculous. Conveniently for Xavier's brother Jonathan, he was out early on a drug sentence....and who didn't see this one coming. Anyhow, this idiot might have violated his parole, and could have to serve the remainder of his sentence in prison because of the incident. In reality, the ref who missed the call should be put in jail for the remainder of the sentence, and the young black dude who showed such athleticism jumping over the bench should get a paid trip to referee school.

Roddick vs. Federer Part 258

2009-01-27T13:26:00.004-05:00

Melbourne, AUSTRALIA - Well tennis fans, the stage is set for yet another classic Andy Roddick vs. Roger Federed matchup in this year's Australian Open semifinals...of course by classic I mean Federer will thoroughly embarass my long time man crush spurring fantastic post-match press conferences like this one. This time around, Roddick has trimmed off 15 lbs. and is said to be playing his best tennis ever. He is coming off a victory over Novak Djokovic, who may be the biggest pussy on the planet. Djokovic, who has a history of retiring only comparable to Brett Favre, had to quit the match in the 4th set because it was too hot out for him. What a faggot. You're the defending champion, think you could stand the heat for a few more minutes to finish getting stomped?

This highly anticipated matchup can be seen on ESPN, the only problem is that much like watching ABC's hit show Lost, we don't know if it's taking place live, in the past, or in the future for that matter. Does ESPN realize that they don't ever televise the Australian Open live, and if they do they make sure not to advertise when the matches will air. The last match I caught was Roddick beating up on some guy, however I'd already seen that he won the match online. Never fear though, I'll be sure to post results, and hopefully Roddick's press conference 20-30 hours after the match is over, you know...when I finally find out who wins!

Cavaliers To Add Reggie Miller?

2009-01-27T11:42:00.011-05:00

CLEVELAND - You might have missed this little nugget towards the end of Brian Windhorst's column this week (ironically someone who's never missed a nugget) -

"TNT announcer Reggie Miller said on Dan Patrick's radio show Monday afternoon that the Cavs had talked to him about coming out of retirement and playing for them. The Cavs declined to comment on Monday. "

It's not suprising that most probably missed this, considering the Fabulous Sports Babe has more listeners at this point. With Michael Redd going down for the season, is this the direction the Cavs would really want to go at this point? He's been out of the league for three and a half years (although he's hit only one less buzzer beater in that same timespan as LeBron).

Could this be a tactical move by the Cavs brass to bring it someone who will actually fued with Kobe, as opposed to usual pleasantries offered by LeBron towards other players not named DeShawn Stephenson? Unless the NBA adapts MTV's Rock and Jock 50-point basket (sadly no link despite our best efforts), we'd advise the wine and gold to move on. Although we must admit that the prospect of having two of the worst shooting forms in the league in the same backcourt would be appealing.

Here's the less funny but more factual version from WatingForNextYear.com.

Newzin' - Beltless Edition

2009-01-27T11:06:00.003-05:00

"On Friday, T.J. McCreight, the team's player personnel director, was fired. On Monday, the Browns acknowledged McCreight's departure by saying they have accepted his "resignation." What??? New GM short on specifics.

How much drinking do you think Z did during the Cavs' west coast trip? Z back at practice.

Fueled by the play of Mo Williams, the Cavs now lead the NBA in local viewership.

Today Boyd makes his decision and breaks the hearts of two teams (and potentially Joe Bauserman). Boyd eager to make choice.

Columbus sportstalk fans can finally hear Herbie pimp USC and Florida outside of a 10 mile radius. 1460TheFan to simulcast on FM.

Group Against Sex Predators (GASP) meet in Akron. In a related story, sex predators arrange meetups with children of GASP members conveniently this week.

Mountain West Conference is NOT Happy!

2009-01-26T15:41:00.005-05:00

MULTIPLE SPOUSES, UTAH - According to reports, the Mountain West Conference is looking to enter the big leagues and receive an automatic BCS bid for the conference champ in the future. I hate college football in general, and I hate the BCS, and I hate all of the teams in this miserable conference, but the more I think about it, they probably deserve the automatic bid. I mean, the ACC is garbage and produces a doormat for a BCS game each year, and the Big 10 seems to produce 5 or 6 of them...so why not let a team like Utah, or TCU have an automatic BCS bid? Is it because we need a terrible program like Wake Forest or Georgia Tech to get into the spotlight to get trampled by a national powerhouse? Do we hate mormons? Do we dislike programs that produce over-hyped, flop draft picks? Call me crazy..but I don't get it.

Since this will most likely be the only time I write about this useless sport, I feel that I should explain why I hate it so much: The Spread Offense. This pathetic style of offense has allowed teams with average quarterbacks and speedy receivers to flourish because the linebackers at this level simply aren't good enough to cover the entire field. Wide receiver screens, the zone read play, and the option simply don't work in the NFL... see Vince Young, Troy Smith, Tim Couch, Alex Smith, David Klinger, Andre Ware the list goes on and on(If any one of you ignorant bastards even mentions the words "Wildcat Formation" in a comment I will hunt you down). This causes guys like Joe Flacco, who have at least taken a snap from under center in their careers to come into the NFL and amaze us with their mediocrity. Name one fucking quarterback who came from a spread offense who's succeeded in the NFL...please...just one!

You know what does produce solid NFL players...the USC Trojans, one of the only programs in the nation who plays real football, and produces solid NFL prospects year in and year out. You don't see 5 wide receiver formations, bubble screens, and terribly overrated quarterbacks here. Instead, you see a group of dudes who get more beautiful ass than any other group in the nation from girls like THIS, and occasionally party too hard and lose one game each year to keep them out of the title game. Is there any fucking doubt that this was the best team in the country?

Instead, Florida wins another national title, and still hasn't produced a solid professional player since Fred Taylor. Gerard Warren, Chris Leak, Jarvis Moss, Chad Jackson... man these guys have really made the Gators proud. It's a disgrace to the sport that a team led by Chris Leak even won their conference, much less a title. That asshole didn't throw a pass farther than 10 yards in the air the entire title game, and yet due to the spread offense they were champions. I hope that stupid commercial about the NCAA where they talk about people going professional in something other than sports is true, because if you go to UF, you aren't doing shit in the pros.

Newzin'

2009-01-26T10:54:00.004-05:00

The Kokinis era begins and Tony Grossi is vindicated. Browns name new GM.

This article marks the first time a white reporter has ever entered this up-scale hair salon. (editor's note, I went to the Major League Barber's myspace, and came up with the following picture and subsequent caption - make sure to click on the scrilla yo).

Day after monster truck promoter touts event's safety, he's crushed and killed by ~~Bigfoot, Gravedigger, Boogey Van, Rampage, Carolina Crusher Bearfoot~~ , Sampson.

Last night on Wall to Wall Sports in Columbus, Bill Kurelic says his money is on OSU to sign Taj Boyd. Oregon and Clemson message boards claim it's a done deal to their schools. Gotta love recruiting. Boyd to announce tomorrow.

OSU's 2-2 defensive zone needs some tweaking. Perhpas adding a fifth defender would help. Zone picked apart.

Crater Caught With Cannabis Noopy Nabbed With Narcotics

2009-01-25T18:25:00.009-05:00

TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA - Proving that it's never a good omen if your recruiting picture (located above) looks like a mug shot, former Buckeye Anthony Crater was arrested Friday night with weed. At one point in high school, the South Florida Bull was considered one of the best point guard recruits in the country. After his commitment to OSU, his status took a plunge worse than US Airways Flight 1549, going from a five-star recruit, down to four-stars, then three-stars, and now apparently down to a one-hitter.

He left the Buckeyes after just 10 games when it proved to be too difficult to beat out a couple below average JUCO transfers. Thad Matta had constantly urged the freshman to value possession of the basketball. Looks like he got the possession part down.

2009-01-24T16:32:00.016-05:00

NBA Power Rankings CLEVELAND, OH - We are halfway through the NBA season and after already dishing out the Cavs Midseason Report Card, it’s time for “Shane Vendrell’s NBA Power Rankings” (Top 16 edition). The rankings featured below are not to be confused with the ridiculously autistic “Hollinger Power Rankings” or the dim-witted “Marc Stein Power Rankings.” Unlike those, these rankings are much more ignorant and much less popular but I’m bringing them to you nonetheless. With that being said, let’s not waste any more time and get right to the action…

16. Sixers – Philly had a rough start to the season but they have been playing better as of late and with the Elton Brand set to come back they could make some noise in the East. Let’s not get carried away though, they’ll make about as much noise as a girl does that I brought home from the bar when I’m “pleasuring” her.

15. Heat – They’ve got DWade, who is absolutely phenomenal, and that’s about it. (Although dead last in the league in three point shooting %) Now that Shawn Marion doesn’t have Steve Nash to play alongside with he is not the same player he was, however, he did seem to retain the same disgusting jump shot form. This team will make the playoffs but an early 1st round exit looks to be in their future.

14. Pistons – This team just keeps getting older and the Billups-Iverson trade is just blowing up in their face. And don’t tell me it’s because Rip Hamilton was out because they have struggled since his return. Don’t look for this team to make a deep postseason run like Pistons teams of the past as they’re not even close to the same team. Rodney Rogers and Richard Collier have a better chance at making a run than this team does.

13. Suns – Same story, different year. The suns will win a decent amount of games, make you think maybe this is the year, and then get bounced in the first or second round. Shaq is 84 yrs old and less dominant than a girl in David Meggett’s bedroom. Nash and Amare are great but this team is not coming close to a championship anytime soon.

12. Mavs – My unhealthy male crush on Dirk Nowitzki will not allow me to bash the Mavs but here’s another team that will win more than they lose and get knocked out in the first or second round. Enough about that though how awesome is big Dirk dog? Does it get any better than the seven footer from Germany? The answer is no, it does not.

11. Jazz – The Jazz have the best coach in the league and the best state to attempt to marry multiple women at the same time. Boozer has been hurt which hasn’t helped but, when healthy, this is a dangerous team that I wouldn’t want to see in the playoffs.

10. Blazers – One of my favorite teams in the league, the Blazers are loaded with young talent and should be a force in the Western Conference in years to come as long as Greg Oden can stay healthy. That being said, they are still about two years away from being a serious contender and I’m about two years away from reaching puberty.

9. Hawks - Same story here, another fun team loaded with young talent that is a couple acquisitions/years away from being a contender. Al Horford going down was a big blow, as he has been sorely missed, but do not count this team out. They gave the Celtics fits in last year’s playoffs kind of like how I gave the last girl I slept with an STD.

8. Nuggets - Boy did that Billups trade work out nicely for this team as they have overachieved in every way this year. Even with Melo missing time they are still winning games and trying to state their case as a legit contender in the West. However, George Karl still can’t get this team to play D which is why they are most certainly NOT a legit contender.

7. Spurs – The ageless wonders are back at it again, winning lots of games and getting role players to hit clutch shots for them again and again (see Roger Mason, Robert Horry). Popovich is a phenomenal coach but can they put it all together for one last championship run? That’s like asking if Eva Longoria can keep her hands off me and stay faithful to Tony Parker. The answer to both is obviously 100% NO.

6. Hornets – It has been a roller coaster type season for these Hornets and they need to improve on the road, but I absolutely love this team. Chris Paul is the best point guard ever to play the game and he’s got some weapons around him (although Peja needs to sack up and pick it up). This team is definitely one to be taken seriously as is the red rash that has appeared on my undercarriage this morning.

5. Rockets – When healthy and not acting like children, this Houston Rockets team is absolutely loaded with talent. There is no doubt that they are championship contenders, however, the chances of Yao/TMac not getting hurt and Artest not being the worst teammate on Earth are equal to the chances of CursedCleveland still being around in February.

4. Magic – I keep trying to tell myself that this Magic team is not for real but road wins over the Spurs, Lakers, and Nuggets have made me a believer. Not to mention they are 17-5 on the road and 18-4 against the West. Let’s not get carried away though this team is not beating the Celtics or Cavs in a seven game series but I certainly wouldn’t be excited to face them.

3. Celtics – The defending champs are still a force to be reckoned with but I don’t see a repeat in their future. Paul Pierce is the most overrated player in the league and couldn’t carry Kobe or LeBron’s jock, while Jesus Shuttlesworth is half the player he was at Big State. KG, you are still the man but I’m afraid you will never get that 2nd ring.

2. Cavs - How awesome was that game winner last night? These Cavs are the real deal and should face the Celtics in the East Conf. Finals for a trip to the Finals. I still believe they are one move away from contending with the Lakers and hopefully Danny Ferry can get that done. Rossitron don’t hesitate to hook your boy up with some playoff tickets!

1. Lakers – Best and deepest team in the league with the best player in the league (Mambaaaaaaaa!). Do I really need to say more?

Despite James' Late Airballed Three, Cavs Win

2009-01-24T10:20:00.006-05:00

GOLDEN STATE - OK, so last night's game winner was pretty sweet, but we know LeBron would be getting killed today by fans wondering why he A) almost had worse clock management on the last play than Romeo Crennel; B) Still thinks the most dominant penetrator in the league should ever shoot a 19-footer with a game on the line; C) is ever going 10 of 16 from the free throw line. By the way, ever since Brian Windhorst wrote his column about Bron eclipsing 80% from the stripe, he's shooting 71%. At least it's not as bad as his three-point shooting, which is 116th out of a possible 122 (even though he's taken more threes than 91 others).

Also, Mo Williams had another horrible shooting night last night. In his last four games, he's had three clunkers. When he's on, the Cavaliers are almost unbeatable; but when he's off, the Cavaliers look more extremely vulnerable - (they struggled to get by a 13-win team on the road without their top scorer).

Obviously it's a good sign that the Cavs are winning games in which they're not playing well on the road. And if LeBron can start looking like Kobe at the end of games like he did last night, they're in good shape. But we're starting to think this Cavalier team is a little more mortal than they had looked in the first 2 months of the season.

Now THIS is Funny!

2009-01-23T15:36:00.003-05:00

Melbourne, Australia - According to reports, the wildebeast sisters had a run in with a streaker in the middle of their doubles match today. Apparently the man was wearing nothing but a shirt, and had a few dance moves to show off to the crowd before running towards an exit. When interviewed after the match concluded, Venus Williams said "I can't believe that guy's penis was bigger than Serena's!" Serena nodded. These two muscle bound freaks haven't seen a naked man in years, god bless this guy for trying to keep them from being full on lesbians. Oh yea, they won the match, you know because they're bigger and stronger than all the other women are....and most of the men are.

A.J. Smith Hates L.T

2009-01-23T15:02:00.007-05:00

San Diego, CA - The week of public bashings continues as Chargers general manager A.J. Smith went ahead and publically mocked star running back Ladanian Tomlinson on Wednesday. According to reports, L.T. posted on his website that he had "NO intentions of leaving San Diego." That's nice, considering if he did it wouldn't be his choice anyways, you know because he's still under contract. In a related report, he also told close friends that he had "NO intentions of ever playing in a meaningful playoff game." In response to this, Smith told the San Diego Union Tribune:

"My first reaction was we both have similar feelings. I have no intentions of leaving San Diego. San Diego is where my GM career started and where I’d like it to end. I also have nothing but love and the utmost respect for this team, the players and the Spanos family. I have absolutely no control over how long I will be with the Chargers."
“As for now, I am the Chargers’ GM, and I have major decisions to ponder for the organization now and in the future. My recommendation to Dean Spanos will be what’s in the best interest of the team – both short and long term. That’s my job. That’s what Dean hired me to do.”

Look, Tomlinson has been one of the best running backs, if not the best in the league for years now. The problem is, he's getting older and lately the guy gets banged up a lot. He's also missed a bunch of playoff games, and screwed a bunch of fantasy football owners this year. Say what you will about Darren Sproles, but he's a midget and isn't an every down back in this league. A.J. Smith is a proven asshole, and I'm ok with that. I see no good reason why you can't taunt a player who sat out the divisional round with a vaginal tear, well that is if you're planning on releasing him. On the other hand, if Smith was a good GM, he might have considered hanging on to Michael Turner, you know the current Pro Bowler who averaged over 5 yards per carry in his Chargers career. If he had this kind of a season behind the Falcons O-Line, imagine what he might have done over the course of the year with the Chargers' star-studded line blocking for him.

The AFC West which is arguably the shittiest division in football, is not helping it's plight this offseason so far. Shanahan was fired, Herm Edwards is on the ropes (and is a terrible coach, motivator, and all around person), the Raiders are a complete disaster and now this...what's next? Stay tuned to CursedCleveland.com for all of your non-Cleveland sports information!

For Once We Laugh At Dane Cook

2009-01-23T13:47:00.006-05:00

CRICKETS - It's now become apparent that theft runs in Dane Cook's family. While he's busy strealing jokes, his brother-in-law is busy stealing Dane's millions. This explains why the alleged funnyman has been making movies non-stop as he attempts to rebuild his fortune (thank goodness for high school girls, who've spend more money these days seeing Dane perform than they do on lip gloss, cigarettes and MSN Messenger-compatible webcams...not that I would know)

Movies have been very good to Dane, and why not? For someone who's made a career with other comic's funny lines, it's an easy transition to read someone else's movie lines. By the way, he's gone from looking like this to looking like this for his most recent role. So not only is he stealing jokes, but he's also stealing Carrot Top's trunk full of HGH. Now I realize that Dane is a great performer, but if I want to see elaborate on-stage performances, I'd go see Cirque Du Soleil - and I'd probably laugh more.

Newzin'

2009-01-23T10:46:00.003-05:00

Browns continue to fill coaching staff, without GM. They might as well fill out the roster and negotiate contracts while they're at it, so we can completely make the GM irrelevant. Quintet of assistants named

So how many shots is LeBron going to chuck in this year's All-Star Game? (My money is on 24, considering he's taken 22, 20 and 21 respectively). All-Stars announced

And you thought Mike Brown didn't make adjustments. Girls teams scored 0 in the first half, then after impassioned half time speech, scores 0 in the 2nd half. Team loses 100-0

Did you know Cliff Lee beat out LeBron as the Cleveland pro athlete of the year? Lee wary of star attention

Oh no, Andrei Arlovski's trainer said his fighter is a better striker than Fedor. Big fight on Saturaday night. Fedor has intimidating style

Ohio's jobless rate soars, and they mistakingly counted Romeo Crennel twice (he took up two spots in the unemployment line). Jobless rate at 7.8%

Too Good To Be True

2009-01-22T21:25:00.004-05:00

Decatur, AL - Just months after Plaxico Burress shot himself, his replacement on the team went and got shot too! Taye Biddle, who was brought on from the practice squad to fill the void left by Burress, was visiting family when he was shot in the hand and the leg. How's this for irony? Large black man gets shot in the leg while assuming the role of another large black man who shot himself in the leg, you can't dream shit like this up!

My first reaction was to laugh, but I thought that was a bit harsh...and then my second reaction was also to laugh, so I laughed....and I'm still laughing. On a positive note, this guy looks like an animal in his uniform, too bad the only uniform he'll be wearing anytime soon will be his hospital gown. Hang in there Taye, at least you'll have a story to tell your grandchildren, because you certainly won't be telling them any on-field stories from your NFL career.

Cuts in Berea Not Involving Staph Infection

2009-01-22T20:07:00.004-05:00

BEREA - As we referenced earlier, the lagging economy reared it's ugly head once again (seen above and to the left) as Browns owner Randy Lerner was forced to make some tough decisions today. And for once, those decisions had nothing to do with whether or not Stiliyan Petrov's well-publicized spat with new club manager Martin O'Neill will further hamstring Aston Villa's efforts to overcome the early hole they've once again dug themselves into (I know, check out our sister site "VoodoedVilla.com" for all the details.

Instead, it's all about the laying off of at least 12 Browns' staffers just days after MLK day - although some of outgoing PR workers were heard proclaiming "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last." Either way, it's sad to see yet another group of Clevelanders wtihout a job, especially when Trafis Hafner is still gainfully employed (and Greg Brinda). We have invited Randy to appear on our next podcast, but we likely have a better chance of landing Al Lerner at this point.

Shaq Hates Dwight Howard

2009-01-22T11:55:00.006-05:00

NEW YORK, NY - When asked last night if Dwight Howard would be the next closest thing to Shaq that he's seen, Shaquille O'neal responded with the arrogance and dry humor that's made him the funniest person over 7 feet tall on the planet year after year:

"No," he said. "Not at all. He's a good player. He can jump. But no. I was the type of player that they had to have secret meetings and change the rules and do all that. Probably never be another me. He's a good player, but everything he's done, I've invented. So I'm not impressed."

O'neal has had a way with words over the years, calling out nearly every competitor in the league. Who doesn't remember the Kobe rap, the Yao Ming comments, or even the haymaker that nearly ended Brad Miller's life.

The thing about this one is that he couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Dwight Howard is a carbon copy of a young O'Neal, well with more muscle definition, and can jump higher, and shoots a higher free throw percentage, and is faster, quicker and a better dunker. Anyhow, I for one am not that impressed with the Magic, or Dwight Howard's game. He's a beast, don't get me wrong, but he's only good because of his athletic ability at his size. He can't shoot (from more than 5 feet from the basket, including the free throw line), has average low post moves, and has been shut down in the playoffs his entire career. Yea, I know he is an animal on the glass and on defense, but how could you not be at this size?

Am I the only one who couldn't be less worried about this team in the playoffs? Take a look at the game film from the last two Detroit playoff series'....fact is that even with Howard in the middle, this is a jump shooting basketball team. We all know how well jump shooting teams do in the playoffs. On the other hand, Jameer Nelson is having a phenomenal year, Rashard Lewis is still terribly overrated, and Turkoglu is pretty solid and a go-to guy down the stretch in close games. The rest of this team is baaaad, you're not going anywhere in this league with a bench comprised of Mickael Pietrus, Brian Cook, Tony Battie, Anthony Johnson and Marcin Gortat. Sorry Orlando, Shaq's not impressed, and neither am I.

CursedCleveland.com Featured in New York Times Random Blog

2009-01-22T11:30:00.004-05:00

SOMEONE ELSE'S BASEMENT - CursedCleveland.com is finally making the media rounds this week, as it granted its first one-on-one interview interview with rival site MajorLeagueJerk.com It's the type of crossover you'd see between CSI and Without a Trace, only without the humor. CC.com tackled the tough questions in this no-holds-barred back and forth, such as "what's your favorite food?" and "why does nobody read you?"

CC.com leaves a couple stones unturned in this interview, but does waste little time going after the usual suspects: LeBron, Dana Plato, and Ghandi. For your reading pleasure, he's an excerpt:

1. First off I have to say I’m a huge fan. Please tell me that CursedCleveland.com is going to stick around for awhile this time, and if not please let Clown buy it and then hire you as a writer.

A: As a site looking to “take off” I guess it wasn’t smart to base our posting frequency off of LOST’S programming schedule. But hey, at least we come up with more new material than Frank Caliendo.

Jerk of the Month - January

Newzin'

2009-01-22T10:02:00.004-05:00

Mo Williams carries the Cavs in the fourth. Mo and LeBron torch Blazers

We're about to be "Kokinis-ed" sometime in the near future. I feel like the Plain Dealer is taking a cue from LOST and it just traveled back in time. GM announcement to come soon

No Best Picture nod for Dark Knight. Probably because of the three things: A) horrendous post production of Batman's voice; B) contrived application of the prisoner's dilemma; C) the awful wiretapping solution to the movie that's solved in less than 30 seconds. Oscar nominations

Hello friends. I'm a vanilla broadcaster who doesn't have a take on anything. I'd rather be calling a PGA even in January than anthing else - and I've ruined March Madness with my uninspired calls. Nance has faith in Mangini

The Browns currently have two offensive coordinators under contract, yet made all sorts of cuts within the staffing: Browns handling personnel choices poorly

Stripper named Tiara kicked patron in the face. Now being sued for $25,000. Claim should be paid out in ones. Man sues Akron strip club

I wasn't completely thrilled last night with LOST. Does anyone really think Hurly could just escape officers on a stake out by just exiting the rear? (I guess I'll susped belief for time travel, dimensional shifts, and smoke monsters, but not standard police procedural storylines) Here's EW's recap

Rick Barry Hates Lebron

2009-01-21T15:37:00.008-05:00

Cleveland, OH - Hall of Famer Rick Barry has gone and done what nobody else besides the writers at CursedCleveland.com would do...criticize Lebron James. According to Barry:

"He's got major flaws in his game," the Warriors great said in an interview airing Wednesday night. "He's six years into the NBA. How can a man six years into the NBA with his talent have a major flaw in his shot? How can he not use screens effectively? .. . I watch the game very carefully, he doesn't use screens effectively and this is not LeBron's fault. It's the fault of the people who are teaching him. ... There is no doubt in my mind that LeBron, if shown these things, would do them, because he wants to be a great player. He wants to win a championship. As great as he is, he should be better."

Rick Barry is a little off base here. My issue is this, do you really think coaching is the problem here? Do you think coach Brown instructs Lebron to settle for ridiculous jump shots every time he has a chance to beat the buzzer at the end of a game? Do you think he called for that fadeaway in Chicago which led to a loss last week? No, he didn't, and you're an asshole if you think that this guy listens to any of his coaches. He's the coach of this team, but the problem is, unlike Kobe, you don't see him in the middle of huddles pumping up players and telling young players where they need to be. Instead, he can be seen biting his fingernails and gazing into the distance. Chris Jent works with Lebron constantly on his free throw shooting, and is widely known as a phenomenal shooting coach.

Is Barry saying that Lebron's form is off? Well isn't Peja Stojakovic's form a little off as well...as was Jeff Hornacek's, Reggie Miller's...the list goes on and on. Form isn't the problem, consistency is...not everyone can shoot underhanded Ricky.

We've been very critical in the past of LBJ here, and this has been the season, for me at least, where he's started to make an effort on the defensive end and really impress me. He's clearly the most talented player in the game today, I'm just not sold on the fact that he's as driven to win a title as Kobe is, or Dwyane Wade is for that matter. When the Cavs lose, he's still shaking hands and smiling and laughing with opposing teams' players. Do you ever see Kobe doing this? Do you ever see Lebron get a technical foul or show any emotion when things aren't going his way? (Edit, I just saw that LeBron is third in the league in technicals. Apparently he did learn more than just defense from Kobe this Summer) Show me that you are so competitive that you're willing to look immature during or after games. Show me that you have enough fucking nuts to not go hug guys on the other team after they steal a hard fought game from you. Show me that you've spent countless hours in the gym shooting free throws instead of filming commercial after commercial. Then, and only then, will I really truly love Lebron James as a player.

The guy's young, and I've got all the time in the world to wait...and until then thankfully the NBA has a handful of players who I can be inspired by that care about winning...and only winning.

Newzin'

2009-01-21T09:42:00.010-05:00

Apparently Cleveland State aint getting that football team. So on Saturdays their students can focus on their unaccredited education. No name change or football team.

Browns legend dies. (No jokes, at least for a couple hours, although I had one written about meeting the real Dante).
B.J. Mullens dominated by sophomore seven footer. Stock falling faster than DDR. Buckeyes take hard fall.

You're definitely going to want to check out our enemies at Major League Jerk over the next 48 hours, especially if you hate CursedCleveland.com Major League Jerk

Fox Sports Radio says "You, uhh you're not good" to Chris Myers. The Czabe and J.T. the Brick aren't going anywhere for now. Fox Sports Radio Shakeup

The Razzies are out, and all we can say is thank God there's no equivalent for Worst Cleveland Sports Blogs that hate LeBron James. Love Guru Endearing at Razzies

Script Obama

2009-01-20T22:24:00.005-05:00

WASHINGTON DC - Even though Ohio State may not still have the best damn team in the land (or even one of the top ten damn teams apparently), they still do have the Best Damn Band In the Land. TBDBITL appeared in our nation's capital for some tiny, understated presidential ceremony that went largely unnoticed, as it was nowhere to be found on Nickelodeon or the SciFi Channel (although you'd think having a black President would make for a great science fiction movie someday). Nice to see our band actually play the Buckeye Battlecry and Across the Field after a January Win.

And can someone please tell me why the school with the largest athletics budget in the country couldn't fly their team out for the USC game? Although it did turn out to be a sound fiscal decision considering how many times we would have heard the post-scoring fight song.

Newzin'

2009-01-20T09:42:00.010-05:00

So those were the two best players in the game? That game looked more like Justin Leonard taking on Corey Pavin in some Shell Wide World of Golf match play tourney. Both these guys stink! Then afterwards LeBron took veiled shot at his teammates: "We both took the challenge on guarding each other, their team just made more plays...they have more talent than just Kobe Bryant, they have a lot of guys." PD's writeup of last night's embarrassment

By the way, more on this later - but the numbers are in, and Kobe guarded LeBron 50% more than the other way around last night. Here's the LA Times version.

So I read this whole article about Shin-Soo Choo, and this stuck out at me: "Hitting coach Derek Shelton doesn't think the WBC will hurt Choo" Wait, Shelton's still our hitting coach? Choo playing for Korean team in WBC

Tressel is teling Taj Boyd all sorts of interesting tales. Two-QB system enticing to recruit

Read between the lines about OSU B'ball's newfound chemistry this season: Koufos and Butler were diasters in the lockerroom last year. Buckeyes enjoy company

Free tuition at Toledo. Something tells me kids are still getting ripped of. Free tuition offer

Savage's Final Report Card

2009-01-19T22:04:00.011-05:00

CLEVELAND, OH - This might sting a little browns fans, but it's necessary to take a look back at the last four years and what could have been. The following is an in-depth look at this talent evaluating guru who has set us back many years with his horrific selections. Please settle in, this is long winded, opinionated, and full of humorless jokes.

2005 Draft

Round 1: B+

Pick # 3 - Braylon Edwards - Last year was a disappointing year for Edwards but we cannot forget the pro bowl year he had in 2007. If he has another year like the last I suppose we can think about cutting ties with him. I'll give him a pass on this year because he has the talent, desire, and work ethic the browns need. Here at Cursed Cleveland we also have a thing for handsome players that look good in their uniform, and let's be honest, it doesn't get much better than this guy in that department.

What could have been that round: Antrel Rolle, Carlos Rodgers, Demarcus Ware, Shawne Merriman, Jammal Brown, Roddy White, and Logan Mankins.

Round 2: D+

Pick 34 - Brodney Pool - Was over-hyped in college and has shown he is a below average safety in the NFL. He can't tackle, he can't cover anyone...and he's not intimidating. Also, like Billy Bob, he is one concussion away from never playing football again.

What could have been - Michael Roos, Lofa Tatupu, Nick Collins, Justin Miller, Vincent Jackson, and Darrent Williams.

Round 3: F

Pick # 67 - Charlie Frye - Most Browns fanatics were excited with this one...however I couldn't have hated this pick anymore.. He had a weak arm, terrible facial hair, and the IQ of Radio. He was ambidextrous, which allows him to lob 15 yard out passes into unsuspecting defender's arms with both hands.

What could have been: Justin Tuck, Ellis Hobbs, Darryl Blackstock, Domonique Foxworth.

Round 4: F

Pick # 103 Antonio Perkins - Savage believed this midget would help out the secondary, and boost our return game. He went ahead and played in one game in 2005. In 2008, it wasn't Cleveland that realized he couldn't play professionally, it was instead the CFL's Toronto Argonauts.

What could have been: Marion Barber, Jerome Mathis, Brandon Jacobs, Kerry Rhodes, and Darren Sproles

Round 5 - D-

Pick # 139 - David McMillan - He leads our team in sacks every year in the preseason against the other bums in the NFL. Looks terrible in his uniform, and if you're not actually playing - this is unacceptable. For God's sake learn to accessorize.

What could have been :Trent Cole, Dan Orlovsky

Round 6 - F

Pick # 176 Nick Speegle - Terrible name, terrible college, terrible player. Not gonna waste my time writing about this fuck.

Pick # 203 Andrew Hoffman - The Terrorizing Defensive tackle from Virginia.

What could have been: Michael Montgomery, Bo Scaife, Chros Kemoeatu.

Round 7 - F

Pick # 217 Jon Dunn - He was dunn with the Browns after this year.

What could have been: Jeremiah Ratliff, Matt Cassel, Ryan Fitzpatrick

Undrafted, - Savage did snag our Pro Bowler return man and ugliest player on the team Joshua Cribbs. We also snagged Lance Moore but was cut because we they thought he wasn’t good enough. Andre Davis, Dennis Northcut, Antonio Bryant, and Braylon Edwards were our WR’s that year.

2006 Draft

Round one - D+

Pick # 13 - Kamerion Wimbley - We traded down with Baltimore because they wanted Haloti Ngata, and we wanted this tweener from Florida State. The Browns had their chance to nab a Samoan, which every successful NFL organization has, but decided to go with Wimbley who still hasn’t learned how to do anything other than a speed rush. It must be tough to gameplan for a guy with one move and OK speed.

What could have been : Brodrick Bunkley, Tye Hill, Antonio Cromartie, Laurence Maroney, Davin Joseph, Santonio Holmes, DeAngelo Williams, Nick Mangold, Joseph Addai, and Mathias Kiwanuka. Thanks Phil!!!

Round 2 - B-

Pick # 34 D’Qwell Jackson - Don’t have many bad things to say about this pick, has been our best LB for the past couple years. Not hard to accomplish with the fucking losers we have at this position. Love his intensity and shit talking, which are also vital things when we determine which players we like. There were some other studs taken this round but this one doesn’t sting as much.

What could have been: Marcus McNeill, Greg Jennings, Devin Hester, Richard Marshall, Maurice Jones-Drew, Jeremy Trueblood, Taitusi Lutui, and LenDale White.

Round 3 - F

Pick # 78 Travis Wilson - Was a holdout during training camp, and has hardly seen the field other than preseason action. He made one of the best preseason catches of all time against the Lions but wasn’t enough to let this piece of shit play. He was released this season.

What could have been: Jerious Norwood, Maurice Stovall,

Round 4 - F

Pick # 110 Leon Williams - Usually cant go wrong with drafting players from the U, however the browns managed to snag a career special teams linebacker. He rocks a visor but isn’t enough to warrant this stiff.

Pick # 113 Isaac Sowells - This fatass was awful at Indiana but Savage decided to go against the grain and snag Sowells who would have a hard time blocking Lucas rushing off the edge.

What could have been: Brandon Marshall, Leon Washington, Stephan Gostkowski, Elvis Dumervil, Rob Sims, Willie Colon

Round 4 - C-

Pick # 145 Jerome Harrison - Harrison averaged 8 yards per touch last year, but wasn’t given many opportunities. He has shown signs of being a solid backup but needs to change his number and facemask if he wants to get more praise from us.

Pick # 152 DeMario Minter - Gone after one year...terrible.

What could have been: Dawan Landry, Omar Gaither

Round 6 - D

Pick # 180 Lawrence Vickers - Is a solid fullback that can also handle the rock. Like D’Qwell, he loves to talk shit and has shown decent celebrations after his 2 yard runs, and 3 yard grass routes.

Pick # 181 Babatunde Oshinowo - was put on the practice squad then cut.

What could have been: Antoine Bethea, Mike Hass, and Sam Koch.

Round 7 - F

Pick # 222 Justin Hamilton - Cut from team after the season.

What could have been - Marques Colston, and Cortland Finnegan

2007 NFL Draft

Round 1 - A

Pick # 3 Joe Thomas - I wanted Adrian Peterson but this was the safe pick and just what the Browns needed. Thomas is one of the best tackles in the NFL and will be for years to come. He loves his chewing tobacco and so do we... just another reason we love Joe Thomas.

Pick # 22 Brady Quinn - Its hard to look at Brady and not smile. His football smarts and boyish good looks has Cursed Cleveland excited for next year. He is built like a Greek God and I had to question my own sexuality seeing him at the combine with his shirt off. Brady edged out Braylon and Kellen for the best looking player on a recent CursedCleveland.com writers pole. Savage gave up a lot in order to get Quinn and unfortunately we're still uncertain if he will the QB of the future.

Notables taken after Quinn - Jon Beason, Joe Staley, Ben Grubbs, and Anthony Gonzalez.

Round 2 - C

Pick # 53 Eric Wright - Savage gave up some picks to move back into the second to draft Wright. Easy E received some bad reviews by commentators from his off the field troubles at USC. I cannot be mad at someone for having over 500 date rape pills found in his dorm room. Who hasn’t thought about dropping a couple of pills to ensure a piece of ass that's way out of your league? It was never proven that he used them on anyone but im sure he helped a few losers in the USC band to get laid. He hasn’t shown that he is a lock down corner by any means but played very well last year.

Notables taken after Wright in round 2 until our next pick in round 5 - Ryan Kalil, Trent Edwards, Le’Ron McClain, and Clint Session

Round 5 - D+

Pick # 140 Brandon McDonald - I never heard of McDonald before we drafted him but this guy was a decent pick late in the draft. He was benched after missing a tackles and getting burnt in the middle of the season. His inconsistant play is a concern, but he does show signs that he can make big plays at times.

What could have been: Steve Breaston, Kevin Boss, and Nick Folk

Round 6 - F

Pick # 200 Melia Purcell - This was clearly an attempt by Savage to jump on the Somoan bandwagon a few years too late. We still need one but struck out with this bum. We should have seen if Big Manu Manu the Slender from unnecessary roughness was available.

What could have been: Mason Crosby, and Doug Datish

Round 7 - F

Pick # 213 Chase Pittman - Was a General Studies Major from LSU, and is terrible football player. He was waived in August of 2008.

What could have been:Tyler Thigpen, Ahmad Bradshaw. Brandon Siler.

Undrafted - Pierre Thomas, Melvin Bulitt, and Selvin Young

2008 NFL Draft

Round 1 - 3 No pick because of the Brady Quinn/Corey Williams/Shaun Rogers moves.

- When Rogers is on the field he dominates, and is by far our best defensive player. Although that’s like saying he is the charasmatic Autistic child in his class. Corey Williams wasn’t worth a 6th round pick they way he played last year. As coach Bud Kilmer would say, “Your fat, dumb, too slow, and your fucking up my universe.”

Round 4 - D-

Pick # 104 Beau Bell - Had a solid year on special teams after his injury racking up one solo tackle. If he couldn’t beat out our LB’s when he returned we shouldn't expect much in the future.

Pick # 111 Martin Rucker - Was injured early and didn’t show us much after his return.

What could have been: Tashard Choice, Tim Hightower

Round 6 - F

Pick # 191 Paul Hubbard - Made a great one handed catch in the preseason followed by an amazing dance. We haven’t seen Hubbard since.

Nobody worth mentioning.

Round 7 - F

Pick # 231 - Alex Hall - Wasn’t able to beat out Willie McGinnest….I’m finished with this guy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

So there you have it. Four drafts and grades so bad that they'd even get you kicked out of Kent State University. Nobody can deny that the talent level has been upgraded during the Savage regime. Problem is, a team with supposed playoff aspirations finished 4-12, and set records for offensive futility. So what's the legacy of the Savage era? Is it a guy that took more scouting trips than Tom Lemming? Or is it the guy that sends emails to Browns fans with all the maturity of a CursedCleveland.com blog item?

2009-01-19T15:39:00.030-05:00

Another Mediocre Steelers Team Super Bowl Bound

CLEVELAND, OH - Don’t look now football fans, but the overrated, extremely mediocre Pittsburgh Steelers are headed to their 2nd Super Bowl in 4 years. This story is about as captivating as a Friday night in downtown Willoughby, OH. For those of you who don’t know, those evenings usually entail several males, without a female in sight, sitting around watching extremely feminine shows/movies, all while periodically checking Facebook for young girl profile updates.

Just when I thought there never would be a more average team to make a Super Bowl than that 2005 Steelers squad, those same cats in the Black and Gold prove me wrong in ‘09. Can a playoff road be any easier than there’s has been this year? They had to beat the 8-8 Chargers, with no LT, who shouldn’t have even been in the Playoffs to begin with, and then the Joe Flacco led Baltimore Ravens. I’m not sure who would score more in a game, that Ravens offense or one which consisted of Pat Tillman at halfback, Sean Taylor at wide out, Korey Stringer anchoring the O-Line and Hunter Kelly leading the way at QB.

It’s not hard to make the Super Bowl when you play in a terrible division and have an absolute cakewalk to the championship. I don’t know what will be more annoying when watching this Super Bowl, the endless Mike Tomlin/Omar Epps retarded comparisons or Big Ben playing terrible for 3 qtrs and then leading one good drive for a TD and the subsequent cock-blowing that will follow. Has there ever been a more overrated QB than this guy? The fact that anyone can compare him to the Tom Brady’s and Peyton Manning’s of the world is just mind-boggling. What’s also mind-boggling is that I’m writing this article with jizzhut.com minimized on my computer just salivating at the thought of their new Monday movie updates.

Anyway, the blame shouldn’t be all on the Steelers for ruining yet another NFL season but also on the rigged NFL and its officials. First, they make a phantom “running into the kicker” call which should have been renamed a, “not touching the kicker or doing anything illegal” call, which conveniently led to a TD. Then there’s a BLATANT helmet to helmet hit, which almost paralyzes Willis McGahee, and all of a sudden the refs have a harder time locating their flags than Ben Roethlisberger does locating his sack on a daily basis. It’s really very simple, whoever the NFL wants in the Super Bowl they get which is why this league is so stupid and why terribly mediocre teams go to multiple Super Bowls.

Look, the only reason to even watch this thing is to watch the best receiver in the game (Larry Fitzgerald) dominate and to root for a solid, good guy in Kurt Warner. There’s no doubt I will be rooting hard for the Cardinals to win not only because I hate the Steelers but also because if they win maybe Ken Whisenhunt can get a raise and do something about his disgustingly brown top front teeth. I don’t know what’s more painful, getting denied by a 17 yr old at the Beach Club or watching this dude smile?

Look Alike Alert!

2009-01-19T15:24:00.002-05:00

Cleveland, OH - Pictured above you will find two distinguished gentlemen. One is the future Cleveland Browns GM, and the other is best known for his work as Kevin Arnold's father in the hit show "The Wonder Years." Both rock the classic "Side-Part" hair style, made famous by me in middle school thanks to some bad parenting. Let's hope that Kokonis can help to instill some discipline into this team of tackle-missing asshats the way that Mr. Arnold did in raising two upstanding children in Kevin & Wayne....Butthead!

Tony Grossi's No Jay Glazer

2009-01-19T14:45:00.006-05:00

BEREA - Apparently the Plain Dealer Browns beat reporter Tony Grossi isn't just in the business of routinely finishing second or third to Jay Glazer and Chris Mortensen on vital organizational stories out of Berea. Now he's just flat-out jumping the gun and making things up.

"The Browns apparently are in no hurry to name George Kokinis as their next general manager. A source close to their search said that as of this afternoon the club had no announcements planned for Monday. In fact, a second interview between the Baltimore Ravens pro personnel director and Browns owner Randy Lerner may not occur until later in the week."

In the news business, it's called a retraction. It's a pretty serious mis-step by Grossi, who lately has been missing the mark. We're starting to question if his main source in Berea was Dennis Northcutt. Seriously, find us a story he's scooped anyone on since Northcutt has left town, we dare you! He's really turning into the last guy to know things - his family won't even tell him where the reunion is in two months (Expect Glazer to have it tomorrow).

Perhaps he's spending a little too much time on his neverending crusade to keep Art Modell out of the Hall of Fame. Even Iñigo Montoya thinks you're a little obsessed at this point. In all fairness, we haven't heard Grossi's side of the story yet. But we will all get to hear it on tomorrow's podcast, as he joins me live!! Just make sure to let him know. Or tell Glazer to write about it, then it'll get to him eventually.

Newzin'

2009-01-19T11:01:00.009-05:00

Let the George Kokinis era begin, as Tony Grossie throws all sorts of caution to the wind and puts his career on the ~~he has a great hair~~line with this report. It's tough for us to have a definitive point of view on a GM hire considering the entire profession has been reduced to a crap shoot. Supposedly this guy can scout and the Browns simply couldn't pass up a chance to land another Ravens scouting afficionado , or a Belichick disciple, or a first time offensive coordinator.

Three months ago, he was fighting for a title at Madison Square Garden. Next month, he'll be fighting at an auditorium in Youngstown. So much for the great ~~really, really~~ white hype. Pavlik looks to come back strong.

The former best player in the league plays against the best player in the league tonight. Feel free to decide which is which. Kobe and LeBron won't acknowledge rivalry.

Browns looking at Fox Sports Radio's (and former finger waver) Bryan Cox as a defensive line coach. If the same vein, can we please get a team to interview Mike Golic, as long as it gets him off the air? Browns interview Cox.

Is this kid stil living off the Etch a Sketch? How about adapting to some new technology. I mastered Tetris when I was 15...you know what I did next? I moved on (No I didn't. I can start at level 9 and get to roughly 197 lines, send in your screen caps and donkey kong kill screens). Etch a Sketch kid does Obama

So this is why Waiting for Next Year is sending out "tweets" to nobody in particular. Although they understood their readers' urgings: When it comes to WFNY, less is definitely better.

Look-Alike Alert!

2009-01-18T20:17:00.003-05:00

As you know, here at CursedCleveland.com we're committed to bringing you nothing but useless information. Continuing with that platform, we're excited to introduce a new column that has nothing to do with analysis, stats, or humor. Instead, we'll go ahead and find athletes who look like other celebrities and show them to you...and if you're lucky we'll include a couple of witty lines. Pictured above are Cavaliers guard Sasha Pavlovic, and Prison Break star Wentworth Miller. These guys have the same facial structure, same haircut, and the same defensive abilities. They also have two of the absolute worst male names I've ever heard.

Sunday Ramblings

2009-01-18T18:04:00.004-05:00

CLEVELAND, OH - I can't even explain how happy I am to see Donovan McNabb out of the playoffs again, and one can't help but wonder if this game would have gone a different way had he not borrowed Derek Anderson's touch on every short pass he threw today. For a Browns fan, this time of year is usually very difficult. You're not sure whether or not to even watch football and if you do, the games are usually disappointing. Typically, Sundays in January are spent hungover, reading disgustingly uneducated articles by the likes of Terry Pluto (or watching videos of high school girls on facebook....or both). This Sunday, I watched an inspired Cardinals team with hands down the best receiver on the planet knock out my second most hated team in the NFL.

It kills me to hear analysts talk about how good Brian Westbrook is. The guy has been useless this postseason, just as he would be in any other system besides the West Coast offense that allows you to win games with Arena League receivers like Hank Baskett. Am I the only one who's happy to see Kurt Warner headed back to the Super Bowl? Typically, CursedCleveland.com is not much for praising players, but this is just a genuinely good guy who deserves all of the success he gets. He's smart, handsome, and if you're going through one of those self-checkout lines at the grocery store what better guy to have with you?

Weekend Newzin'

2009-01-18T11:28:00.009-05:00

Is Waiting for Next year the Chick-Fil-A of the Cleveland blogosphere? Much like I want their crispy chicken combo on Sundays, Clevelanders want your listlessly regurgitated sports takes on the weekend. We're over here working in the trenches, and you guys are hanging out at Club Med. Ohh WFNY, we kid, we kid.

Some much needed Mike Brown love (Didn't know the Beacon Journal still was a functioning paper). Credit due to Cavaliers' coach.

Bob Hunter's about two-years too late to the bash coordinators club. Tressel sees need for tweaking.

Thad Matta, Jim Tressel and CursedCleveland.com is a combined 15-2 combined against Michigan. OSU regains early-season attitude.

Dan Henderson has been involved in more judge's decisions than Antonin Scalia. Two UFC announcements: Rampage to fight Jardine in Columbus and Liddell vs. Shogun to headline UFC 97 in Montreal.

The Dipatch was disappointed by Lil Wayne. They're obviously racist. Frustrating Concert.

Swerb's blurbs is auditioning for yet another writer. Reminds me of the clip from Naked Gun when all 42 of the announcers are introduced before the baseball game. You need a new writer like Football Night in America needs another on-air panelist. Swerb's Freaking Blurbs.

UFC 93 Broadcast @ 3:00 Eastern Time!

2009-01-17T13:08:00.005-05:00

Dublin, Ireland - Just a quick reminder for all of our MMA fans out there that the broadcast of UFC 93 will not be in it's usual 10:00 p.m.-1:00 a.m. timeslot today. Instead, at 3:00 go ahead and tune in to ChannelSurfing.net and watch it for free live streaming on your computer screen. Of course, if you're an honest person...in which case you probably don't read this blog, you could always order it on Time Warner Cable and then call customer service 20 times throughout the day to find out why it isn't on your television and you're still being charged for it. My two favorite CSR's over there are Ja'Kuanda and Rochelle, so if you're having any issues ask for them, they're real good at telling you to keep it on the channel and it should "Pop On" at some point.

Anyhow, today's card features a few interesting fights. UFC newcomer Dennis Kang is fighting Alan "The Talent" Belcher in a bout that could have Middleweight Title implications. Of course, the main event between Rich Franklin & Dan Henderson leaves the winner as the coach of Season 9 of TUF, and a finale battle with England's own Michael Bisping. Franklin is coming off a dominant victory over Matt Hamill, where he threw a victorious body kick that "The Hammer" didn't see (Or hear) coming. Henderson is coming off a boring win over some submission guy that nobody cares about.

The problem here for Franklin is that winning this fight would bring him back to middleweight to fight Bisping, and in line for a 3rd fight with Anderson Silva. If someone did this to you...would you want to hop back in the Octagon with them a third time? Although Franklin is my favorite fighter in MMA, and a man crush of mine that has lasted over 6 years now, I almost would prefer that he lost today in order to stay away from the path of destruction that Anderson Silva always leaves...hell his last fight Patrick Cote tore his ACL trying to throw a kick..fighting Silva is just bad news I'm telling you.

Almost forgot, Mark Coleman, who turned 62 years old yesterday, is fighting Mauricio "Shogun" Rua today as well. If Coleman can fight through the arthritis and Alzheimer's he's been battling, he should be able to bore us all to death laying on top of Rua. If not, he may die in the ring today, leaving the writers here at CursedCleveland.com a whole slew of jokes and references over the next few weeks. Stay tuned for a biased, wordy, and potentially incredibly negative recap of today's event.

ESPN Radio Shakeup

2009-01-17T00:29:00.024-05:00

Big changes are afoot at ESPN radio, as industry reports say Sports Nation and its curious pairing of John Seibel and Orestes Destrade has finally come to an end, making way for Doug Gottlieb to take over the drive time slot from 4 -7 PM.

The program shift completes the most forgettable span of ESPN programming since Beg, Borrow and Deal. ESPN radio's senior VP Mo Davenport explained the move:

"The overall strategy is to focus on strong personality-driven sports content between 6 a.m. and 7 p.m."

Meaning: John Seibel, you've had three hours a day for the last four years to actually grow your audience. Nobody's failed with this much exposure since Alan Colmes. So take your Air Force experience and fly the hell out of this timeslot.

ESPN radio wasn't done tinkering there. Colin Cowherd will have another full hour to urge listeners to blow up The Big Lead's servers (although one person can do as much damage posting a single comment). Cowherd will now piss off Big Ten football fans from 10 AM to 2 PM daily.

But wait, there's more. Mike Tirico's lifeless brand of non-entertainment is shifting an hour and will air from 2 to 4 PM- causing Scott Van Pelt to lose his one-hour show all together. Brian Kenny will be hosting from 8 to 10 PM. Sweet, that means more boxing and baseball, two sports that couldn't be losing more steam in the public's consciousness.

While Doug Gottlieb is yet another ESPN commentator that operates in the world of forced conviction, his basketball expertise is second to none. He can relate to the present day athletes based on his history of credit card fraud. He can also relate to many of today's best lawmakers as an army deserter. Either way, he's very inciteful and doesn't avoid controversy the way Mike Tirico has.

Speaking of Tirico, when will ESPN radio acknowledge that nobody sits around the radio these days to hear uninspired platitudes and endless colleague adulation? At one point we wondered if his pairing with Michele Tafoya was a plot by ESPN execs to entrap the NBA's lead play-by-play man into another scenario with sexual harrassment potential.

And I have to question how ESPN continues to bury one of its best talents - Ryen Russillo. The guy is funny, quick-witted and has no problem hitting on other radio personality's daughters.

20-0 at home...Are you kidding me?

2009-01-16T22:20:00.007-05:00

CLEVEAND, OH - Less than 24 hours after losing a heartbreaker to a Bulls team full of last year's Cavs rejects, the boys in Gold came back to the comforts of "The Q" and beat a very good Hornets team this evening...actually let's be honest, they would have beaten the Western Conference All-Star squad tonight coming out shooting 8 of 13 from the 3-point line. Brian Winhorst always talks about unwinnable games, and this certainly would fall into that category. Second night of a back to back, no Delonte West, no Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and no idea why I'm home on a Friday night writing this article.

This team is just solid, and who doesn't like to see the entire team coming off the bench when Lebron James fakes another injury? I mean, if you're going to fake an injury after taking a routine fall, might as well have all of your boys huddle around you and try to look up there shorts...right? Ok...so this Hornets team may not be the same team that won 50+ games last year, but they're still a tough matchup for the Cavs, and had already beaten them once this year. Is it just me, or does Lebron just walk right past James Posey, who for some ungodly reason Kobe Bryant can't seem to beat off the dribble?

Finally, a few quick thoughts about the end of this game:

With two Hornets having been kicked out of the game, did Mike Brown think it was a good idea to leave Lebron on the court? Oh yeah, he was "flirting" with a triple double.
Why don't the Cavs fans understand that chanting "MVP" when another Cavalier is on the free throw line just doesn't make sense? Their timing is as good as our webmaster begging for laughs on a podcast.
Why did nobody get in Posey's face when he tossed Mo Williams to the ground?

Where Are They Now: Marty Cordova

2009-01-16T11:52:00.006-05:00

It's not often we write about baseball on Cursedcleveland.com, mostly because MMA has supplanted America's pastime in our books as our third favorite sport. But one of our favorite players in college was the 2001 Cleveland Indians leftfielder Marty Cordova. Not just because of his .301 batting average on a Tribe team that should have beat the 116-win Seattle Mariners (you and your 76 mile fastball can burn in hell Jaime Moyer), but because he spent more time in a tanning bed than George Hamilton. .

So what's he up to now besides not spending time in a plastic surgeon's office to make obviously needed repairs to his King of Pop looking shnoz? He's busy letting the burly Dana White outrace him in a mile with ten grand on the line. Cordova's time: 7:15. Come on Marty, I last clocked in at 6:15, and that was with me shouldering all the other writers of this site on my back.

By the way, anyone else wondering how Cordova could go from batting .216 with 7 homers to .341 and 28 homers and 131 rbi in just two years? This guy skates and guys like Jason Grimsley get caught? Nevermind his nine-seasons of mostly injury plagued ball. .

By the way, we're a day away from Henderson vs. Franklin. Get excited!

Newzin'

2009-01-16T09:46:00.004-05:00

Wedge still sounds like a kid on Christmas morning who dreamed of getting a 10-speed bike" - really Terry? If Wood, Derosa, Smith and Valbuena is a 10 -speed bike, then what would Sabathia, Texteira and Burnette be like? A flying lexus? Wedge gets all he wants.

Another script Ohio. Now all we need is Maurice Wells to run into the back of the line and this would feel like a real game at the Shoe.

Broncos GM wants Browns opening. If he's responsible for bringing in Maurice Clarett, then we're sold. Sunquist campaigning for job

Another Buckeye bolting for the pros. Washington joins NFL draft picture

Delonti West is pissed that WFNY did a story on him and not CursedCleveland. West injures wrist

If you don't think Zydrunas and LeBron's mom has something to do with these record numbers, you're crazy. Ohioans spend recored amount of Liquor.

Crabtree To the League

2009-01-15T21:34:00.024-05:00

Lubbock, Texas -Michael Crabtree has decided to forgo his next two season with the Red Raiders and enter the 2009 NFL draft. The Raiders will also be without their handsome star QB Harrell, which could have also helped with this decision. Either that, or he realized his General Studies major would land him back in poverty. The 6'3" 214 lb WR has become one of the sexier picks in the draft. Seattle, Oakland, and Cleveland would all love this phenom. "As far as I've seen, top 5. That's what I'm striving for," said Crabtree when asked where he would go in the draft. Here are some Crabtree Highlights for those who haven't seen much of him. He is the prototypical WR and will be the first wide receiver taken, although Hartline's decision to go pro could effect this. He has been said to have the size of Braylon Edwards, the hands of Jerry Rice and the cock of Visanthe Shiancoe.

Crabtree had 231 catches for 3,127 but with only 41 TD's. His numbers are a little jacked up because Texas Tech throws the ball 247 times a game. The Red Raider offense can be compared to playing a video game against your buddy, you throw the ball every down and run the exact same streak plays over and over. Cant blame the guy, he has accomplished more in two years with that team than most others have in four. "It was hard when I was little. Money was a big problem," Crabtree said. "I feel like this was the best decision." Couldnt agree more with him and cannot wait to see him with his shirt off in the combine. New friends Deion Sanders and Michael Irvin are now advising Crabtree on what he needs to get himself ready for the next level. This couldn't be more important, might as well ask Brian Blades how to get rid of his competition.

I have nothing left to say about this guy because nobody really cares or will read this. This is my first article and probably my last. The site sucks and so does my article. Time to figure out which Asian teen pornstar I'm going to jerk off too.

Dirty Napping

2009-01-15T19:14:00.005-05:00

This totally unrelated post is brought to you by guest writer J.Fine.

I apologize for the premature title, but I was under the impression that Patrick Swayze had already done his finest work by literally reenacting Ghost. It turns out, "The Comeback Kid" still has something left in the tank. Is this guy staying or going? The same can be asked of Cavalier, Wally Szerbiak. After hearing numerous reports that Swayze had already died or was on his deathbed, it's time for him to do the right thing….and die.

Whether they want to admit it or not, everyone loved "Dirty Dancing", "Road House", "Point Break" and "Ghost". The most recent of which was released in 1991, probably around the time LeBron received his first gang affiliated tattoo. "Dirty Dancing" prompted me to get out on the dance floor, with moves that more closely resembled those of Jean Claude in "Kickboxer". "Road House" made me want to work in a bar so badly that I actually did for three and a half years. Unfortunately, I also have to fault this flick for the 5th and 6th years of my undergraduate study (What is Todd Boeckman's excuse?).

If "Point Break" didn't rouse the ambition to rob banks and surf all day, then you are lying to yourself and "Ghost" just plain made me want to kill myself. Reading the aforementioned titles will remind many of the captivating and successful career this actor enjoyed. Some may even question why Swayze lacked any relevant work over the past decade. The answer can be found in six words, "Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Nothing!"

Cleveland Cavaliers Mid-Season Report Card

2009-01-15T17:01:00.010-05:00

CLEVELAND, OHIO- With this being my first article of the year I’d like to start out by saying how flattered and honored I am to be a part of the exceptional panel of writers that are employed here at CursedCleveland.com. Most of you do not get the privilege that I have of going behind-the-scenes at CursedCleveland and seeing the tireless work ethics these guys have, whether it be writing articles or pursuing very young girls. What a great team to learn from and grow with and I hope my stay here is a successful one. With that being said, our beloved Cavaliers (30-6!) are very close to the midway point of the season, which means its time for me to dish out my mid-season grades for the fellas in wine and gold...

Lebron James – A+* - What can you say about LBJ? The guy is absolutely amazing and what has impressed me the most this year is that he’s finally starting to get it done on the defensive end. However, please note the asterisk next to his grade which denotes that in the last 4 minutes of a game there’s no one you should rather want on your team than Kobe Bryant (see last night’s Spurs game antics).

Mo Williams – A – Mo Will has been everything I had hoped for, providing a consistent scoring presence next to Lebron and solidifying a PG position that has been an Achilles heel in years past. The only question is how long before he tears his ACL and is out for the season. I’ve got February in the Mo Will ACL pool so I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

Zydrunas Ilgauskas – B – Although he’s getting older Z is still a very productive part of this basketball team. The key is that, now, he only has to play 25 mins a game which should keep him fresh come time for the postseason and while his minutes are limited he can still give you 15 and 10 on any given night. The only negative I have on Z is that his wife keeps asking me why on Earth she would ever marry such an ugly human being and sadly I don’t have an answer for her.

Delonte West – B+ - I love what I’m seeing out of Delonte this year, never in my wildest dreams did I think we’d get 12 pts a night from this guy not to mention he’s one of our better defenders. When asked what has caused him to be so successful this year Delonte replied, “I don’t know man, I just try to block out the fact that I look like Steve Kocsis and come to the gym everyday ready to work.”

Anderson Varejao – B – Here’s a guy I was extremely down on last year and ready to give up on that has impressed me thus far this season. Averaging almost 10 pts and 7 boards a game off the bench and providing much needed depth and versatility at the 4 and 5 positions has made me a Varejao fan once again. That and the fact that when I saw him downtown on West 6th and yelled “Varejao!” like an adoring teenage girl he actually waved and smiled at me!

Daniel Gibson – C+ - Boobie has been decent off the bench but his 35% shooting from 3-pt range is unacceptable and needs to pick up. He does provide depth at the PG position and can score a little bit so there are positives to his game. However, the whole shaving obscure objects into the side of your head thing is getting old man. I understand your nickname is Boobie and you need to take some attention away from that but I mean, enough is enough.

Wally Szczerbiak – C- Why is Wally World still on this team?...well aside from his boyish good looks. How has Danny Ferry not dealt this guy and some draft picks for another big man? Could it be that he’s been an average NBA player his whole career and the one thing that he could actually do decently, shoot, he can’t even do that anymore (32% from 3 pt range)? Perhaps. On a positive note, this dude had to bang at least half of Miami (OH)’s campus of hot girls so you’ll always have those memories Wally, you’ll always have those.

J.J. Hickson – C – JJ doesn’t get a lot of time but from what I’ve seen I can’t complain about the young fella. He plays hard and can jump out of the gym so I’m interested to see if Mike Brown can develop him into a player. The potential is there, however, like most Cavalier draft picks he will most likely end up being a below average player who will be out of the league in 5 yrs....see DaJauan Wagner, Trajon Langdon.

Ben Wallace – C+ - Ok, so he’ll never be the player he once was, but I’ve got no problem with Big Ben this year. He only has to play 20-25 mins a game and can still give you 8 boards and 2 blocks a game. The only question is will he be able to stay healthy all year and the answer is most certainly an emphatic NO.

Sasha Pavlovic – D – Sasha’s grade is not entirely his fault as this Cavs team is extremely deep and Sasha just isn’t able to get much PT. That being said he’s still a vagina who can’t play D and will be gone by next season if not sooner. However, I could picture Sasha teaming up with some CursedCleveland writers and hitting up the Beach Club for some young teens. I don’t know I just feel like he has it in him. Don’t prove me wrong Sasha!

Jawad Williams – D- The St Edward standout and local hometown favorite receives a D- not because of his play this year or lack thereof. But solely because in the Euclid Summer League back when I was High School his team absolutely annihilated mine and that shit just isn’t cool. Screw you Jawad!

Bobby Phills – F – This guy has just been a major disappointment this year. Whether it's not showing up for practices or his absences at games this guy just doesn’t seem like his head is totally in it and his attendance record is proof of that. All I know is Bobby you better get your priorities straight because you’re not going to live forever and before you know it these opportunities to play NBA basketball won’t be there anymore.

Yes the Cavs have overachieved in every way this year and if the Playoffs started right now they’d have to be the odds on favorite with the Lakers to win it all. However, I’m just not completely sold on this team yet and I question if they have what it takes to be NBA champions. The ship has sailed unusually and almost frighteningly smooth this year and I’m curious to see how this team will react in the face of adversity. Only time will tell but there’s no doubt it’s definitely a good time to be a Cavaliers fan. On a side note, it’s also a very good time to be a youjizz.com fan as they have updated their site and improved the speed and quality of their movies.

--Tarence Kinsey, Darnell Jackson, and Lorenzen Wright not featured due to lack of me caring at all about them.

A Tad Bit Premature...

2009-01-15T15:08:00.003-05:00

SAN ANTONIO, TX - Perhaps Pau Gasol ~~Daniel Stern~~ knew in advance that Kobe's celebration came a bit early last night(Much like a I do in most(all) sexual encounters)...for those of you who caught the end of the Spurs/Lakers game last night, you witnessed one of the better NBA celebrations ever enacted. Kobe Bryant, down by 1 with 30 seconds left, dribbled down the floor, and launched a 27-foot 3 pointer which hit nothing but the bottom of the net (Of Course). He proceeded to run down the court doing his best Pedro Cerrano imitation (Yes, I know Sam Cassell used to do this, but he's fucking repulsive so who cares).

The fact remains, we know Kobe has "Marbles," but he proceeded to pass on an opportunity to take the game winning shot, something you rarely have seen from him in the past. Keep in mind he wasn't able to beat Roger Mason off the dribble all night long...and it appears that my biggest fear may be coming to fruition: Kobe Bryant could be starting to lose a step. In related news, Lebron James is filming another commercial.

Newzin'

2009-01-15T10:52:00.007-05:00

Expect puns galore in headlines centered around our new offensive coordinator. Coordinators Hired

Hey look, we're just as pretend fair and balanced as Fox News. A Pro Hartline Piece.

New Indians player not named Victor Martinez has questionable heart. Derosa's best season came despite heart scare.

Does this police officer not know Matt Sylvester ended Illinois' perfect season three years ago? Sylvester Arrested

I guess it's going to be a different Trojan QB that will light up the Buckeyes next year in the Horseshoe: Sanchez gone

Looks like the kid gloves aren't coming off with the media and Obama. This hire has affirmative action written all over it: Youngest reporter to ever cover President Inauguration

With all the coverage of the inauguration, can we be treated to a sniper cam? Unprecedented Security

Akron has a street gang? Street gang busted

Hartline Takes His Mediocrity to the NFL

2009-01-14T17:56:00.006-05:00

SLOWHIO - I know, I know, we break stories on this site about as often as Brian Hartline gets open on the football field. But we had to chime in with this little draft nugget, that while Kurt Coleman is staying around for his senior season and yet another BCS disappointment, Hartline is fleeing college, slowly, for the pros. We're not sure how OSU plans on making up for the 21 catches they'll be losing with Hartline's departure, but considering the way Terrelle Pryor threw the ball in the Fiesta Bowl, there's a chance they'll eliminate passing from their offense all together.

CursedCleveland.com did make calls to both Mel Kiper and Todd McShay for an assessment on Hartline's draft status. Kiper said that he's got a decent arm but really struggled to find playing time at the end of the year for Kentucky. McShay, who actually knew who we were talking about, said that to the best of his knowledge the NFL hadn't added an 8th round yet, and that he hasn't begun to work on his big board of undrafted free agents. We were told that former Buckeye wideout Chad Cachio called Hartline to find out the name of his agent.

CursedCleveland.com's 2009 American Idol

2009-01-14T13:35:00.004-05:00

Columbia, S.C.- According to our friends at ESPN.com, former overrated New York Giants and New England Patriots running back David Meggett was arrested for allegedly raping a 21-year old girl(He's 42). This is funny enough as it is, but in order to make this a real headline the kicker here is that this asshole was out on bond in connection with another charge of sexual assault (The first one with a 17 year old...atta boy Dave!) when he raped this little philly. Are you kidding me? Can you really be this stupid? You're a damn former NFL player, Chris Berman used to annoy the shit out of me yelling "Look at that little Megget go" and you mean to tell me you can't just snag some nasty peice of consentual ass? Unreal!

Also, in the most recent case, this Darren Sproles prototype went by the name of "Mike" and according to the victim, she owed him $200 and when he showed up to collect, she didn't have it. He then raped her....and was nice enough to tell her afterwards that she didn't have to repay him the money! I didn't continue reading the article, and I couldn't care less actually, however it looks like this may be his 4th or 5th rape in the last few years. That's good work, and considering these are only the ones that have been reported...He could have dabbled in 15-20 girls, ages unknown but probably spiraling downward from 17...stay tuned for more. In the meantime, David Meggett, you are CursedCleveland.com's 2009 American Idol (Until someone does something funnier).

A New Poster To Masturbate To

2009-01-14T11:40:00.007-05:00

MY BEDROOM WALL - Not since Kimbo SLice v ~~Ken Shamrock~~ Seth Petruzelli has there been this much buildup for an MMA fight, only this time, the fighters are good at fighting. And who am I kidding, at this point the UFC just has to put two omnivores in a cage, have Bruce Buffer do his patented pivot, turn and point and I'm pretty much sold on laying a quick fifty down to buy the ppv. And by that I mean I scroll to my "favorites," click on "Channelsuring.net" and find the appropriate link on fight night.

UFC is obviously taking a page out of the Pride book by producing awesome pre-fight pictorals. I know, I know, it's clearly a photoshop, clearly the UFC 94 logo was added in post. But it does not take away from what a bad-ass matchup this will be between GSP and Penn. I think this fight beats the buy rate for Lesner/Couture. (Actually, according to Dana White, the Rashad Evans/Mir/Rampage card had more buys than Lesner vs Couture, that's pretty ridiculous considering they thought Lesner/Couture would be the highest rated MMA show ever in the U.S.).

Tonight on Spike, they're taking a break from the litany of UFC unleashed, Manswers and Pros vs Joes for UFC Primetime: St.-Pierre vs Penn, a half-hour look into the January 31st mega-fight. Feel free to play the GSP drinking game, every time he says "Matt Sir-uhhhhh" or "ahhh-pohhn-nent" you get a drink.

Newzin'

2009-01-14T10:33:00.007-05:00

Grossi says Browns still have to, among other things, hire a GM, complete staff, evaluate roster and many other things Waiting For Next Year has already opined on. Much to do for Mangini

He was guaranteed to average a triple double for a season one day. Well now he's amassed 19, in five-and-a-half years. Incidentally, Magic finished his career with 138. LeBron is on pace for roughly 54. The King does however dominate in the helper-T cells category. Have no fear, LeBron is here.

ESPNCleveland unveils new site - though still no SportsBoyTony in programming lineup. ESPNCleveland

The team with scholarships defeated the team withouth them. Buckeyes unleash storm of threes.

"Being strapped to a backboard and carted off the field obviously was not the way Shaun Lane saw his college football career ending." Better than complete and total obscurity right? Great special teamer, I'll give him that. Lane's recovery in full swing.

So apparently you can't poison your wife with cyanide these days? How about at least a knuckle sandwich? Yaseed Essa held on $75 million bond for wife's slaying.

Czaban rips on fellow Fox sports broadcaster, hilarious. Czabe Vidcast.

What We've Been Up To...

2009-01-13T19:44:00.015-05:00

For those of you who were wondering, the staff here at CursedCleveland.com has been very busy in 2008, and couldn't be happier about this triumphant and most likely short-lived return to prominence here in '09. One of us has been busy stalking young (Really young) girls on Facebook, using fake AIM screen names to arrange potential sting operation meetings, and occasionally getting in a workout or two. The other has been planning weddings, setting records for watching television series on DVD faster than anyone ever has, finding and evaluating each and every new free porn website, and never (I mean never) working out. I'll allow our esteemed list of readers determine which is which.

Don't expect to see Jeremy G posting any Mock Drafts, as he's moved on to bigger and better things (And by bigger and better things, I mean we just haven't heard from him in a while). Actually, I just received word that Jeremy G may be dropping by from time to time, Thank God! Nevada Nick has also retired, allowing those of you who were foolish enough to take his advice to hopefully pay your bills and stop dodging your bookie. From here on out, you can expect terribly opinionated articles with absolutely no statistical analysis, and punchlines that often won't fit into articles but we simply find too funny not to include.

Don't you worry though, we've gone ahead and added a couple of real journalistic masterminds for your reading pleasure. First, Shane Vendrell, a Journalism & Sports Management major from Harvard (My roommate who graduated from Bowling Green). He currently coaches basketball, and therefore will use his knowledge of the low-post game to dig into all-things Cavs. He, too knows a thing or two about the world of free internet porn and may dabble into that from time to time. Second, Vic Mackey, a physical education major from USC (My other roommate) who's man-crush on every cast member of "The Shield" has become a bit ridiculous as of late. As he's the only one of us who ever played a real sport in college (If you consider playing fullback for a division III program real sport) he'll tackle most of our in-depth Browns analysis. He, more than any of us, knows everything there is to know about the world of internet porn. Expect to hear from him right after his post-workday naps! For those of you who are new to the blog, please don't read any further unless you appreciate one or more of the following things:

Finding the humor in all things relating to Cleveland Sports as a way of coping with the fact that we will all be tortured for the remainder of our lives, much as our fathers have, and their fathers before them (for those of us that have them).

Jokes pertaining to, or references to dead people (and often those who are recently deceased, there's no "Too Soon" here, only "Too late").
References to AdultFriendFinder.com

Disparaging comments about Lebron James (we'll try to take it easy on him now)
Kobe Bryant
Obsessive man-crushes
Unprotected Sex (On a related note, please exit the site immediately if you have been, or intend on being tested for STD's in the future)

We're back baby, and we encourage your comments (Even those that are more ignorant than the posts themselves...I know, I know that's tough to do). We're also open to new writers, especially those who are of the same set of beliefs as we are. If you'd like to join the team, send along a paragraph about yourself, including insight into your daily habits, the Cleveland Sports Figure you'd most likely hook up with if you had to, and a picture of yourself from the waste down.

CursedCleveland.com for Sale, Act Fast!!

2009-01-13T00:26:00.009-05:00

Exactly two years ago, CursedCleveland.com arrived on the blog scene unlike any other anti-Cleveland sports blog had before. The site was unapologetic in it's mission to make fun of the easy targets, like Richard Jeni, Gerald Levert, and Terry Shiavo. The goal was clear: CursedCleveland was only going after those we wanted to have sex with. In the next two years of on and off again blogging, we gave you access to the teams ~~we hate~~ you love like nobody else. We told you the Browns were bad at coin flipping, that the Cavs should trade LeBron for Kobe, and that Jeanette Lee is the hottest Korean nine ball temptress in the game today.

Ok, now you can see why nobody read our site and why we stopped posting alltogether (Rachel Maddow was giving blow jobs when we posted our last entry). We suck, and for some reason, Waiting For Next Year gets more hits than the New York Times website.

Doing my bad Seth Myers impression:

Really, people flock to their site for real sports jawboning?
Really, they wrote a breaking news story about Beanie Wells and didn't write one joke about how his durability rivals that of Patrick Swayze?
Really, they're live blogging now?

Ok, we get it. They're a good site, if you want straight forward sports talk. They're Paul Harvey to our Howard Stern (or Opie and Anthony, if you wanted a more accurate analogy based on ratings..). Is there room for two of us in this world? Sure. Wait, people still go to Swerb's blurbs? You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Alright, so much like the television station I work for, this blog will always be in last place. And that's why we're doing what Randy Lerner should have done years ago: We're selling the naming rights. CursedCleveland.com is an amazing name. It's catchy and when you use it on a yahoo chat session, you'll be able to arrange meetups with all sorts of girls that might or might not be shopping at Hot Topic.

Look, we have no choice. Much like all the other sketchy sites we, umm.. belong to, GoDaddy automatically renewed our site for two years, while stealing money from our bank account, kinda like what the Indians do when you put money down for post-season tickets.

So get in while you can. Make sure to use Tootie, or Flex pay! It's in Gem Mint condition!