It looks as if "Ron Mexico" may not be suiting up for the first day of minicamp, as he will be arraigned by a federal court on the very same day that he's supposed to uncomfortably put his pads on over his herpes outbreaks and get ready for another mediocre, injury-plagued season. Usually, I'm all for athletes getting in trouble off the field, in fact it's well documented that I actually support players who do awful shit in their personal lives and then perform well on the field, court or whatever the surface may be (Kobe Bryant, T.O., Barry Bonds...I could be here all night listing the crop of awful people I support). That being said, this is a situation that even I can't comprehend. I mean there are reports of this guy actually hanging puppies, electrocuting dogs who wouldn't fight, and it's even being speculated that Mr. Vick may have even eaten a live human being. At least he will have lots of street cred when he gets into prison, since to these "Thugs" having a pittbull is some sort of symbol of power. On a related note, we have a small white and brown cat named Frank at our house, does that give us any Street Cred? Come on, not even a little? What if we brought in a big bad Siamese cat and made them fight to the death? What the hell is wrong with this guy?
I doubt this guy will ever play professional football again, and I can't even imagine how miserable it will be trying to watch SportsCenter for the next few months with this garbage as the headline every day. All kidding aside though, the most important part of this equation clearly revolves around Madden '08. We have to assume that he's already in the game, due to the fact that it will be released in less than a month. However, if they pull him out of the game, every bad Madden player on earth who relies on rolling out of the pocket with Vick and running every down will be shit outta luck. Check back for further updates, as we at CursedCleveland.com will do everything in our power to not post anything for the next month or so. Continue Entry»
