2007 CursedCleveland.com Bracket Extravaganza Royal

You've hated our articles, you've ridiculed our lack of humor; now it's your turn to go toe-to-toe against our hated writers in the inaugural CursedCleveland.com 2007 Bracket Extravaganza Royal. If you want in and your one of our 10 readers, you must type in your name and email address in the comment box at the lower right hand corner of the page. In return, you'll receive an invitation in your mailbox. Just make sure you sift through the usual collection of "joke of the day" and "bestiality scenario of the week" emails you're accustomed to. By the way, first prize is a one-year free subscription to our site. Continue Entry»

In the News

Dennis Northcutt is heading back to Cleveland, only this time they're calling him "Tim Carter." Browns trade RB, release angry CB

Any time my alma mater gets press, and it's not involving an overly "friendly" guidance counselor who crashes parties from time to time, it's getting on the site. Red Raiders' defense stifles Wolverines

Shaun Smith had 6 tackles in 13 games last season for the Bengals. Even Ted Washington thinks this guy is unproductive. Bengals DT signs offer sheet

Bill Livingston is still writing about the MAC. Wake me up when the conference has even a remote chance at getting two teams in the real tournament. 13,000 showed up for this by the way, not the "sellout" some of the locals were projecting. Kent has program to ball among the major players

And here's the Tom Mastny profile you've been clamoring for. Tribe rookie has a season to savor

OK, in the spirit of dispassionate reportage, we go Fox News on you and link a pro-Greg Oden column - real tough to find in this area. Oden means business when he gets angry Continue Entry»

Kobe's Got a Plan It Seems...

Don't look now, but it appears that Kobe Bryant and UFC President Dana White are in the preliminary stages of talks that could lead to a career in ultimate fighting for the Lakers' superstar. After sitting down with Stu Jackson and reviewing game film, White was said to be very impressed with Kobe's ability to throw an elbow from just about any upright position (See Mike Miller, Manu Ginobili, Marko Jaric, and most recently Kyle Korver). This is something that you don't see much in mixed martial arts (The standing elbow), and something that fans of MMA would certainly like to see in the ring. Rumors are buzzing that Kobe's entrance into the Octagon could entail a 3-fight contract, which is slated to begin shortly after the Lakers do everything in their power to not make the playoffs (These guys may not win another game). At 220 lbs., Kobe will be fighting in the heavyweight division, and after a warm-up fight with Tim Sylvia, he plans to take these furious "Unintentional" elbows straight for the new title-holder Randy Couture. Just think how sweet it will be to hear Bruce Buffer retardedly say "Kobe 'The Mamba' Bryaaaaaaant."

AP Photo

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Rumor Mill

One way to guarantee the Browns won't botch their early first-round draft pick: Trade down. They are certainly getting their offers, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution (one of CursedCleveland.com's many affiliated newspapers).

If Oakland goes with LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell and Detroit follows with Wisconsin tackle Joe Thomas, then Cleveland would be the target.

The Browns would likely want quarterback Matt Schaub, the 10th pick and at least next season's first rounder. They might even ask for Freddie Falcon and couple of cheerleaders, too.

Can Freddie Falcon play nose tackle?
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SportsBoy Tony Nabs Two-seed in Caller Rankings

courtesy of wknr.com

My masters degree from the prestigious Newhouse school at Syracuse has finally paid off! Today on the "Rizzo on the Radio Show," yours truly was named to the much-anticipated caller rankings list. In the spirit of full disclosure, I did get beat out by a 75-year-old man from Solon who roots for the "U." Incidentally, I just realized that if you type in "SportsBoyTony" and "gay" in a google search, this site comes up. I have no idea why I'm telling you this or why I did the research to find that out.


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If player fails, click on this link: Caller Rankings Continue Entry»

In the News

A strained abdominal muscle for an Indians lefty who doesn't way 350 pounds? Lee may begin season on DL

Paul Hoynes's official blog is funnier than ours. PD Indians Blog

LeBron James has played well lately; such keen insight could only be authored by Branson Wright. LeBron keys Cavs' fast run

"My first question was, 'How's the offensive line?'" - Jamal Lewis, during his initial talks with the Browns (and he still signed here). That would be like a vacationer asking their travel agent, "How are things in beautiful Darfur this time of year?" - and still going. Lewis makes a run for it

Big Browns rumored Trade that we should probably be reporting. Falcons trail in jockeying for Johnson

Way to go Columbus Dispatch, an article about OSU's new uniforms without the pictures. Buckeyes look for some style points with the new jerseys Continue Entry»

A New Role for Damon Jones That Still Involves Sitting the Bench

CLEVELAND - The self-proclaimed "best shooter in the world" has looked very comfortable on the Cavaliers' bench of late. Jones is now drawing some attention to himself since his odd 72-hour bout with the 24-hour flu. Fans were calling the sports talk airways in droves today concerning Jones's constant mouth flapping with Mike Brown and LeBron during last night's thrilling overtime victory over the Pistons. I don't know about you, but it's pretty funny to think about Damon Jones as the calming influence on the sidelines. The guy who raided Craig Sager's wardrobe (or vice versa), has only played 20 combined minutes since February 14th.

Today on the extremely popular "More Sports and Les Levine" show, a caller asked Brian Windhorst of the ABJ about the lack of DJ's playing time. Windhorst said Jones is still sour over the abrupt end to his impressive (and surprising) streak of 297 consecutive games played last month against the Jazz. He said Jones has been everything but professional since his return, taking his good ole time to recover from the flu and now complaining about alleged back spasms. Catch the repeat tonight at 11 p.m. on Time Warner cable. Continue Entry»

In the News

Shouldn't be a tough transition for Jamal Lewis, remember that he was wearing orange just a few years ago. Browns move fast for Lewis

Pluto was loving it. Signing Lewis is wise

I'm actually very excited about Jeremy Sowers; sorry, no joke here. Tribe remains sweet on Sowers

Bill Livingston thinks people care about Dan Dakich and BG basketball. All that once glittered for Dakich soon tarnished

A flopping rule in the NBA? NBA may add Varejao rule

If Troy Smith botches his pro day in Columbus, he's officially screwed. Pro day to be crucial for OSU's Smith

Are the Indians allowed to have base stealers? Barfield's speed gives options Continue Entry»

Big Time Win!

Detroit, Michigan - How about the Cavaliers goin into the Palace of Terrible Referees and coming out with a huge overtime victory tonight!! I can't tell you how into this game I was, and for the first time since last year's playoffs I actually found myself screaming at the television, fist pumping, and complaining like crazy...but man does this one feel good. Part of the reason for this blissful high is a result of my hatred for the thugs from Detroit, who get every single call and then complain like babies any time a call doesn't go their way (First half stat: Cavs shot 10 free throws, Detroit shot 29). Everybody stepped it up on the defensive end, forcing 13 turnovers and more importantly playing help-side defense (most of the time).

As big of a Lebron James critic as I have been this season, I am thrilled with his reemergence as a team leader and tonight he made one hell of a statement (If you didn't get out of your seat when he swatted Rip Hamilton in overtime you shouldn't call yourself a Cavs fan). Lebron scored a season high 41 points this evening, which is most impressive because he hasn't fared too well against Detroit over the years (He certainly gets a Cursed Cleveland GameBall for this performance). I'll even forget about the missed free throws...and ok fine even the one in overtime that could have made it a two posession game. Larry Hughes has started to really impress as well (12-8-6 this evening), taking the point guard position and really getting out and running with the ball. Also, Damon Jones has apparently decided that coaching is the best way for him to get involved in the game, since he hasn't sniffed the floor in weeks... and I gotta say I like to see him in there helpin out the troops in the huddle while Mike Brown is too busy spitting in cups (Man I loved to see the intensity out of the Coach tonight, you could tell he really wanted this win).

This evening, the Cavs drew to within two games of Detroit for the coveted #1 seed in the East. With the Pistons heading out west for some very difficult games over the next few weeks, if we can keep this train runnin' we just may be sittin' on top of the conference at the end of the month. Finally, I'd like to apologize to those of you who count on me to be eternally negative regarding this Cavs team (And well pretty much everything else). I tend to be a little funnier when ripping on the teams I love, but right now I'm going to enjoy this win and get ready for the certain let down that will take place when the Cavs travel to Milwaukee on Saturday.

photo courtesy of cbssportsline.com/ap photo Continue Entry»

Browns Sign J-Lew

Love him or hate him, Jamal Lewis is going to be wearing orange and brown this season. Not sure how you feel about the deal? Neither am I, but I was comforted by the fact that it is a one year deal. I know the diehards are probably fuming over this one. The majority of us are probably most familiar with Jamal Lewis because he had a supporting role in Gerard Warren's best game as a Cleveland Brown (as I'm sure everyone remembers Lewis actually broke the single-game rushing record and Warren played terrible).

Those who feel this acquisition threatens our chances to take Adrian Peterson need not worry. Adrian Peterson's father was in jail for drugs most of his life so Jamal Lewis would be the most natural fit as a mentor for AP. That would be a punishing backfield! And please, lets get over the drug thing. The only reason any of us hate Jamal Lewis is because he was responsible for two of the worst days of our lives, so please lets just leave the drug thing alone. If it takes a drug dealer to get me to the playoffs, I'm fine with that. When did everyone get so high and mighty in Cleveland that we can't have a misfit here and there, it helps build character.

I certainly don't believe Jamal Lewis is the answer and I definitely would rather be going for d-lineman or another o-lineman in free agency right now, but lets not write this guy off. He is 27 years old, he has posted a 2000 yard season, and he has numerous jail tattoos and loads of street-cred.

Photo courtesy of espn.com

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In the News

OK, so it doesn't sound like Tony Grossi is completely thrilled about the Browns free agency. At least Browns get one starter

But Terry Pluto is cool with it. Browns find some blocks to build line

The Big-Ten coaches must have read our article about how overrated Greg Oden is. Dynamic freshman gets dunked

The Indians are getting their money's worth out Roberto Hernandez. He's now Fausto Carmona's interpreter. Carmona closes the book on last season's mystery

A Cleveland superstar who doesn't want the "distraction" of endorsement deals. LeBron James is turning over in his grave sponsored by "Tombs and More." Let Sizemore's star cut through gloom

Done smashing countertops and punching holes in press box walls, the former defensive coordinator of the "U" is heading to Columbus. New cornerbacks coach returns to state Continue Entry»

Northcutt Heads South

The Browns were dealt a major free agent blow over the past few days with the loss of Dennis Northcutt, one of the last remaining vestiges of the forgettable Chris Palmer era. Clamoring for some semblance of an identity since the team's return in 1999, the Browns fan base will assuredly lament the loss of Northcutt (shown above, preparing to drop the football), who is synonymous with the new era Browns. The now former Browns ball-dropper will always have a fondness for his days in Cleveland:

"It was a system that really wasn’t for me,” Northcutt explained “For them, they really didn’t like small receivers. And I wasn’t in the slot [and] they didn’t want to put me in the slot. There were a lot of things that happened."

He's dead on. The Browns never implemented an offense that could properly utilize a guy who couldn't go over the middle, couldn't run routes, couldn't catch the football and couldn't develop the requisite chemistry in the television studio on "Browns Table" with broadcast professionals Les Levine and Michael Reghi. Congratulations Jaguars, you just spent $22 million at a guy who's averaging 1.5 TD catches a season throughout his careeer - Mike Vrabel has made bigger catches, and is probably more elusive. The Jags essentially threw money at a guy who couldn't catch it. Continue Entry»

Better Late Than Never?

Columbus, Ohio - Here at CursedCleveland.com, we firmly believe that sports news should be reported as it happens...which is of course a complete lie, as I will now delve into the events that transpired in Saturday Night's UFC 68 festivities. Naturally, us CC writers had a centrally located VIP table (or one that was squished in the back with people walking in front of us at every climactic point) at Mayfield's own Fox & Hound, and were surrounded by females (Guys) to catch what we're considering to be the greatest pay-per-view event in UFC History:

Renato 'Babalu' Sobral vs. Jason 'Future Victim' Lambert: I distinctly remember hearing co-writer SportsBoyTony say "This fight is over" roughly 27 times in the first round...when "Babalu" was in complete control of the fight which had been primarily on the ground. However, this quickly turned around when Lambert controlled the second round and later floored the man who's demise in the UFC has taken him from a headliner of main events to a guy who will probably be one of the "Fight may not be broadcast" bouts in the future....Good riddance. Jason Lambert looks to have a promising career ahead of him...one that will likely be chalked full of eating punches and kicks from the better fighters in the division as he tries to work his way up.

Matt Hughes vs. Chris 'Lay on my back' Lytle: This male-humpathon was a buzz kill in an otherwise phenomenal evening. I don't remember either fighter landing anything in the stand-up, and Matt Hughes dominated the ground game while failing to really ground and pound Lytle like he has traditionally done to fighters of this caliber. Luckily, this fight gave viewers time to get to the bathroom and get another drink at the bar before the exciting fights began. By the way, Hughes did win in a unanimous decision, in case anyone actually cares.

Rich 'Ace' Franklin vs. Jason 'The Athlete' McDonald: The crowd erupted when AC/DC came over the loudspeakers and the Cincinnati native made his way towards the ring clad in his usual pink and brown American Fighter t-shirt. This fight didn't disappoint Franklin fans, as the former champion seemed to have his swagger back and dominated the weaker McDonald. Franklin had 'The Athlete' in a very compromising position for much of the second round, and while he could have simply gone with a rear-naked choke for a victory, Rich chose instead to maul a helpless McDonald with relentless punches and elbows. J-Mac chose to not come out to fight in the Third Round, and his corner threw in the towel (Very manly move). After the fight, Anderson Silva came into the ring and there was a semi-gay embrace with Franklin, followed by a lot of babbling in a stupid-sounding language which led us to three conclusions: There will be a rematch, it will be in Rich's hometown of Cincinnati, and the writers of CursedCleveland.com will certainly be in attendance and will likely get beat up in the process.

Randy 'The Natural' Couture vs. Tim 'Maine-iac' Sylvia: The intensity in the billiards room of the Fox & Hound was incredible, and as Sylvia hit the mat after a Couture right hand bomb just seconds into the fight, the place erupted (By erupted I mean the three of us were pushing each other, jumping up and down, and screaming "Come On" repeatedly, which certainly turned on the three women in the room). The joke of the night took place at this point, when our own SportsBoyTony claimed that "Even Matt Hamill could hear the sound from that punch" which even made one of the two miserable older gentlemen in front of us cackle a bit. This fight was a dominating performance that nobody could have expected, and was exciting throughout because everyone was expecting Sylvia to land that one punch that would end our hopes. 'The Natural' is now the Heavyweight Champion of the UFC once again, and who didn't smile on the inside when they saw him hug his hot new girlfriend in the center of the Octagon after the fight concluded. For those of you who like Randy, you may not want to watch his next fight, which is likely to be with Mirko Cro-Cop, and will almost certainly not end fortuitously for the hero of every balding, divorced, forty-year-old meat head in this country.

photo courtesy of ufc.com

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Cavs Disarm Rockets

Cleveland, Ohio - The Cavs were able to hold off an intense fourth quarter comeback by Tracy McGrady (And only Tracy McGrady) to snag a 91-85 victory over the team that boasts the 4th best record in the NBA this evening. The Rockets have owned the Cavaliers over the past few seasons, mostly because they play a slow-tempo, half-court game and great team defense...I think it's safe to say that tonight we were able to beat them at their own game. Larry Hughes seems to have found himself in the point guard role, and it couldn't have happened at a better time. The Cavs are 2-0 since he took over the point, and his aggressive style of play certainly helps Lebron to not have to carry such a heavy load.

We'll be giving out two "CursedCleveland Game Balls" this evening, and the first goes to Eric Snow for his fourth quarter drive in which he dribbled the ball from the elbow straight out of bounds without looking up, and then smiled and didn't seem to care that he'd turned the ball over at a crucial moment of the game. The second game ball goes to Donyell Marshall, who missed everything on a wide open layup late in the game that would have blown the roof off the building and given the Cavs a double-digit lead (Missing the rim on a layup when you're 6'9" is very hard to excuse, and almost impossible to do on a nightly basis like this former Huskie does). An honorable mention goes to the Wild Thing, who was confused enough to think that Hughes' pass was meant for him as Lebron slammed home a huge alley-oop over Andy with less than two minutes remaining (In fact, this may be the first time in history that someone has been posterized by their own teammate). Big win tonight in a playoff-type atmosphere, let's see if we can go into the Palace of Auburn Hills on Wednesday riding this emotional high and take out the rival Pistons.

AP Photo

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In the News

A seven-footer from overseas who can't move or play defense not named Zydrunas will be playing tonight. Rockets at full strength

Why does it seem like every Indians pitcher except Sabathia understands that the off-season is time to get in shape? Southpaw Lee continues to work back into shape

Three sacks and seven interceptions in nine years, sounds perfect for our defensive scheme. Browns add well-traveled corner Wright

Brian Windhorst is sick of LeBron's cliche-filled interviews. LeBron takes to heart jabs of the critics

For four years, he played the role of a meandering, un-athletic basketball player (who's claim to fame was his game winner to beat undefeated Illinois). Now he's got a new role, guess that basketball career didn't pan out. Coming to a theater near you: Matt Sylvester

The UFC gained a new fan. Fascination for fights cause for reflection Continue Entry»

Free Agency: Weekend Recap

Today I want to take a look at what transpired over the weekend with NFL free agency just kicking off. The biggest story of the weekend was without a doubt Nate Clements becoming the highest paid defensive player in the NFL by signing an 8-year $80 million dollar contract. We all know Nate Clements is good, but that is shutdown corner money and Nate Clements is certainly not a shutdown corner. Sorry Ohio State fans who rep your players with an uncanny sense of passion and a complete disregard for logic but this contract is absurd.

On the Cleveland Browns front things went well over the weekend. The Browns locked up Eric Steinbach who was considered by many to be the best offensive lineman in free agency with a 7-year $49.5 million dollar contract. He will be plugged in immediately at left guard and should help solidify that side of the line. There really aren't any negatives on this guy. He can actually play any position on the line and is probably better than all of our O-Lineman at their respective positions. He did join in the Bengals arrest parade by racking up a DUI, but I look at this as a positive. As I have said many times before, certain positions require a certain type of attitude. Good running backs generally fall into the domestic battery category, good defensive backs need to get in club fights (just getting into a club fight is a positive, you dont even have to win.....Ken Hamlin is a very good example), and good offensive lineman should drink and drive (Alex Boone's NFL stock plummeted due to going the sober route after his DUI).

The Browns also signed the Houston Texan's Antwan Peek to a 3-year deal. Peek was a third-round pick in 2003 out of Cincinatti where he played defensive end and he made the transition into a 3-4 OLB in the NFL (scout.com had him ranked as the 4th best OLB prospect, just behind your very own Chaun Thompson). He had six sacks in 2005 but was lost in the mix after the Texans went back to the 4-3 last year. There isn't much out there on this guy but he is an 81 overall on Madden, which should give you an indication of his abilities since Madden football rankings hit the bullseye on every player they rank and truly mirror the real NFL (Charlie Frye is terrible and if you can break a big run with Reuben Droughns then you belong on Madden Nation)

Other Notables

Dennis Northcutt- The Jaguars inked the former Browns superstar to a 5-year deal. Once a fan favorite, Northcutt lost his following after a drop on third-down in the 2002 playoffs against the Steelers that Reche Caldwell could have caught blindfolded. Northcutt really fits the Jags smashmouth style of football. Not only is Northcutt a terrific football talent, he is also a rising star in the broadcasting world as was evident from his weekly appearances on Browns Table (it was always comical to watch Les Levine try to dance around the fact that Northcutt dropped a key pass at a crucial moment every week).

Adalius Thomas- In a stunning turn of events the New England Patriots gave a football player money, a lot of money (over $20 million guaranteed). In my opinion this is the best signing thus far and a perfect fit. They now get back the pass-rusher they have been looking for and if they can just get a hold of a decent reciever they are a lock to win the Super Bowl the next 4 years in a row.

Leonard Davis- The Cowboys were able to secure the former #2 overall pick in the 2001 draft with a 7-year $49.6 contract. Leonard Davis is one of the biggest busts in recent hisotry. Is it just me or has the NFL turned into the NBA? That is an Ira Newblesque contract.

Ahman Green- The Texans signed the former Green Bay running back to a 4-year deal. This should come as good news to Browns fans who are on the Adrian Peterson bandwagon (which I am on, actually I am the founding member of the AP bandwagon). The trade down with the Texans rumors will now cease to exist.

Photo courtesy of houstontexans.com

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Seven Week Layoffs, We Hardly Knew You

Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany thinks you can do a lot with 50 days. It could be enough time to form a blue-ribbon task force to discuss the addition of another team. It might be enough time to try and convince the tournament selection committee that the league deserves more than four teams in March. But as we learned back in January, 50 days might be too much time to prepare for BCS bowl games, just ask Delany.

"We had two very disappointing bowl outcomes, and the huge time lag was a factor in the public’s mind and some coaches’ minds," Delany said. "Since everybody was talking about it, we felt we should discuss it. We at least want to inspect it (the possibility of moving back the season)."

If the conference significantly alters its schedule, off-campus students will be rioting and burning couches after Thanksgiving as opposed to before it. So adjust your schedules accordingly. Continue Entry»