Wednesday, January 28, 2009

America Loves Kobe...So Does China..Not LeBron!


















LOS ANGELES, CA - According to ESPN.com, Kobe Bryant's #24 jersey is atop the sales list once again, while LeBron James' #23 came in a modest third. Also, in China, Kobe again reigns supreme, while LeBron's jersey slipped down to fifth on the esteemed list. Do you realize that Kobe's jersey sells more than Yao Ming's in his own fucking country...he's the biggest star in the country and Kobe owns him, and occasionally dunks over him and stuffs his shots. It's funny that in the year that LeBron has taken over in the eyes of many as the world's greatest player, he still can't touch Kobe in the eyes of the fans.


Over the past year, LeBron has tried so valiantly to have a personality of his own and to get himself out there...you know with the 300 commercials and public appearances. Meanwhile, Kobe has hit the gym, stayed out of the media spotlight and led his team to a league best record. Looks like working your ass off at your trade really does pay off, both with your game and with the fans. Looking back at the Olympics, even though LeBron was the flashiest player there, the Chinese fans were enamoured with Kobe Bryant, and he clearly was the one these little people were there to see. He came back hungry, led his team to a victory over the Cavaliers a few weeks ago, and now has eclipsed everyone else in the jersey sales department. What else is left for Kobe to do better than LBJ this year? Wouldn't it be something if the Lakers beat the Cavs in the NBA Finals, and then Kobe was named #1 in People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People list the next week? He could win the ESPY for player of the year, win the MVP award, have Gloria James start showing up at Lakers games and perhaps a billboard can go up in Cleveland of Kobe & Pedro Cerrano both doing their "Marbles" celebrations side by side. Looks like the Mamba isn't ready to pass the torch yet, meanwhile I'm off to nbastore.com to pick up my 500th Kobe Bryant jersey to make sure he stays on top!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kobe probably has a bigger penis than Bronny too

Rossitron said...

Just because Kobe sells more jerseys than Pau Gasol, doesn't make him the best basketball player on the Los Angeles Lakers.

Hey I've always wondered who is better at quarterback, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady; can we please get the jersey sales numbers to figure this out?

Go Cavs

Anonymous said...

I hate how much this site hangs from Kobe's larger than Bron's nutz. Kobe's good, ok great - but is nothing without the diesel. Kobe & Shag together is comparable to putting Bron and D. Howard together – I’ll let you guess how that would turn. Of course Kobe looked good and won then. My questions is where has he been as of late - sure he made the finals (LOST) and won the MVP (which I think is a joke) but so did Bron play in a championship and also lose but with inferior talent. So as an avid reader (I know there are only handful in existence) i would like to hear less about Kobe and more about the KING! If Kobe was so good - he'd have a cool title like the KING! Kobe's title is MAMBA - not cool. Sorry nut hangers.

Webmaster said...

I thought we were going to be easier on LeBron this time around!

LeBron has been the best player in the game this season - let's just hope that leads to a title. It didn't happen for Kobe last year.

BSmith said...

Dear Anonymous,

We at CursedCleveland.com appreciate you being an avid reader, and your continued support. We appreciate your comments, and will look to satisfy you're "Pro-Lebron" needs in the future.

BSmith said...

Also, I do think "Mamba" is a cool nickname, after all the Black Mamba is the deadliest snake in the world. "King James" is pretty nice as well, but "The L-Train" is the worst in sports history, besides Jeremy "Gumby" Horn of the mixed martial arts world.

Webmaster said...

What about Jason the "Athlete" Mcdonald, or Shawn "The Muscle Shark" Sherk, or Josh "The Dentist" Neer?

Vic Mackey said...

Marcus "the Irish Hand Grenade" Davis

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