Thursday, December 20, 2007

Nevada Nick's Bowl Game Challenge

Step right up folks and challenge the Master of Handicapping himself, Nevada Nick. I know you people out there think you can pick games better than me so now here's your chance. I'll post all my bowl game picks and you can post yours and we will see who the King really is. I'm not talking about just picking the winner, I'm talking about with the spread...Kiddie game is down the street. If you're feeling a little lazy and don't want to post ALL the bowl games you can just post the ones that are different from mine and we'll go from those. The winner may or may not receive a fantastic gift offer courtesy of, as well as a 10-day contract to post their picks on CursedCleveland daily..not to mention enormous bragging rights. However, no one will ever beat me so you might as well not even respond to this. Also, if you are scared do not respond either. All Challengers Welcome.
Poinsettia Bowl - Navy +7.5
New Orleans Bowl - Florida Atlantic -3
New Mexico Bowl - New Mexico -3 Bowl - Cincinnati -11
Las Vegas Bowl - UCLA +5.5
Hawaii Bowl - Boise St. -10.5
Motor City Bowl - Central Michigan +8.5
Holiday Bowl - Texas -2.5
Champs Sports Bowl - Boston College -2.5
Emerald Bowl - Oregon St. -4.5
Texas Bowl - TCU -4
Meineke Car Care Bowl - Wake Forest -2.5
Liberty Bowl - Mississippi St. +3
Alamo Bowl - Texas A+M +5.5
Independence Bowl - Alabama -3.5
Armed Forces Bowl - California -3.5
Sun Bowl - South Florida -6.5
Humanitarian Bowl - Fresno St. +5.5
Music City Bowl - Kentucky -3
Chick-Fil-A Bowl - Auburn +2.5 Bowl - Oklahoma St. -4
Outback Bowl - Tennessee -2.5
Cotton Bowl - Missouri -3
Capital One Bowl - Florida -11
Gator Bowl - Texas Tech -5.5
Rose Bowl - USC -14
Sugar Bowl - Georgia -7.5
Fiesta Bowl - Oklahoma -7.5
Orange Bowl - Va. Tech -3.5
International Bowl - Rutgers -10
GMAC Bowl - Bowling Green +4.5
BCS Title Game - Ohio St. +4.5
There you have it. If you catch this post after a game or 2 has already played, you can still post your picks for the rest of the games. However, again you probably shouldn't respond to this because you simply won't beat me...
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Sunday, December 9, 2007

Nevada Nick Announces Early Retirement

Well folks, I'm extremely happy to say that on Sunday afternoon I hit a $500 10-team parlay and can now retire and bask in the sea of riches that I now have. I was about to post it on CursedCleveland but unfortunately my limit was $100 for the site and because of strict contract bylaws, could not bring it to you. I just want to thank all my wonderful, loyal fans for all the heartwarming letters and e-mails and for all the support you have given me over the past 10 years. Perhaps if I feel like giving you readers some charity I'll come back and post some picks but for now I'm gonna sip umbrella drinks and enjoy living the dream. Hopefully CursedCleveland will put up a live feed so you will be able to see my retirement press conference and also my induction into the handicapping Hall of Fame. Good luck to all of you in the future. Continue Entry»

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Nevada Nick Off to Rough Start

Ok Ok, right now you may be saying, "This guy calls himself an expert and comes out and loses his first 3?!?." However, what you do not realize, is that I've been handicapping for the past month with a deep bone bruise in my leg and a badly sprained finger, not to mention I'm undergoing brutal contract negotiations with CursedCleveland at the moment, so take that into consideration. Yes, I did go 0-3 last nite but hey, even Ron Jeremy shoots a blank from time to time (I have no evidence of that statement being true, just wanted to put a Ron Jeremy pic up). Not to fear though, I do my best work under pressure and we still have $40 to work with so tonight we will get our money back. Here's what were gonna do:

Phoenix Suns -9.5 vs. Minnesota - The suns have been HOT winning 5 straight and go up against the lowly, struggling TWolves (2-15) tonight. Minnesota has lost their last 5 games and is 0-5 both straight up and against the spread in their last 5 at home. Meanwhile, the suns have won 8 of their last 9 on the road and are 4-1 both straight up and against the spread in its last 5 against Minnesota. Minnesota is the worst team in the league and I wouldn't be surprised if PHX scores 200 tonight. Look for the Suns high power offense to turn this one into a rout quickly. ($30)

With our last $10 go ahead and bet this 3-team parlay:

Suns -9.5

Wisconsin -2.5

Depaul +22

Nevada Nick's Balance - ($0)

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Friday, December 7, 2007

Nevada Nick Starts His Holiday Gambling Venture

Alright folks, the time has come for me to start posting my selections and tonight seems like a great night to start. First, I'd like to wish all the CursedCleveland readers Happy Holidays and I hope I can make them a little more lucrative for you. They tell me I have $100 to work with so there isn't much room for error but after looking at tonight's card I don't envision much of a problem. Tonight I have 3 selections for you, all coming in the NBA, that we can start to build our bankroll with...

Milwaukee Bucks +2 @ Seattle - This young Seattle team plays no defense and struggles on the boards, giving up 107 ppg. Milwaukee's frontcourt of 7-footers (Yi Jianlin, Andrew Bogut, Charlie Villanueva) should absolutely punish Seattle inside all night. The Bucks backcourt is quick and solid (Michael Redd, Mo Williams) and they should be able to have their way against the Sonics ailing backcourt (Delonte West, Luke Ridnour). Seattle is just 2-8 at home and I expect the Bucks to win this one outright. ($20)
Detroit Pistons -7.5 vs. Chicago - The Bulls are averaging just 89 ppg and will have an extremely difficult time scoring tonight against a defensively sound Pistons team at the Palace. The ageless Pistons have been playing well winning 5 straight and 7 of their last 8. Chicago is 1-4 in their last 5 on the road both straight up and against the spread while the Pistons are 6-1 at home. Take the Pistons and lay the points as I see this one getting out of hand early. ($20)
Sacramento Kings -4.5 vs. L.A. Clippers - The wheels have fallen off for the Clippers as they've lost 7 straight and are just 2-5 on the road this season. Meanwhile, the Kings have won and covered their last 4 games and are a solid 7-3 at home this season. Sacramento is an eye-popping 9-1 against the spread at home this year and have owned the Clip Joint in Arco Arena (Kings have won 21 of the last 23 battles against the Clippers at home). Look for the Kings to grab an easy victory against the struggling Clippers tonight in Sacramento. ($20)

There you have it, we'll go with three $20 flat bets for tonight and hope to build up a little kitty to work with. Good luck to all, you'll be seeing me again soon.

Nevada Nick's Balance: ($40)
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Thursday, December 6, 2007

Another Blog Steals CursedCleveland Idea - but Leaves Out Humor

Part of me is outraged, part of me humbled, part of me was just desperate for blog material; after a number of concerned e-mails directing us to another site, it appears that a blog named The Sports Hernia has stolen our Roasting Mike and Mike premise, and made it unfunny.

Now technically, their post was titled "Lame Jokes to expect at Mike and Mike," and the setup is that the writer's strike has left nothing other than hacks to craft the jokes - but I don't think it's a stretch to assume that the heading is an advanced justification for some bad material. It's kind of like your friend doing a hacky impression then prefacing it with, "OK guys, I don't want to overhype it, and I'm probably going to botch this...etc."

The worst part of all of this, is that Deadspin ran with their version after ours had already been completed and submitted. So you could easily say they're an accessory in this crime against originality and humor (kind of like Carson Daly). But I'll be honest, the Hernia did have a good Bill Walton line, which was NOT stolen from me (yet). I mean this author is so bad, he steals from Carlos Mencia....

Make sure to check out this post in about a week on the Hernia, our new sister site! Just shameful - not that they would steal from us, but that they would even read our site to begin with.
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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Nevada Nick Descends Upon CursedCleveland

The holiday season is now upon us and if you're anything like me (pray that you're not), you find you can always use some extra spending money right around this time. Well we at are here to help. Joining us live from Las Vegas, NV during the holidays will be our guest sports handicapper Nevada Nick. Nevada Nick has been very successful betting on sports and specializes in "holiday" (Dec-Jan) handicapping. Since we are in the Christmas spirit here's what were gonna do for you: Nick will be starting with $100 of his own money and posting here daily to tell you what to bet on and how much to bet on it. He will also be giving you in-depth analysis on each pick and why he feels it is a good bet. We will be keeping a running tally of his balance to see just how profitable Nick's holidays really will be. We hope that you take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer and bet along with the holiday master. This is just our way of saying Merry Christmas to our loyal readers and followers. This way not only can you waste your time by reading our posts, but also waste your money. Stay tuned to CursedCleveland as Nevada Nick will begin posting his selections this weekend. More holiday surprises to come as well...

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Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Roasting Mike and Mike

You may or may not have heard that iconic sports talk radio personalities Mike and Mike are going to be the subject of a roast next month. is obviously very excited about this because A) We loves roasts, and B) We hate Mike and Mike in the Mornings, the Evenings or whenever their brand of contrived, politically correct sports talk airs. Now who doesn't love a roast (besides Pamela Anderson, fat people, black people, dead people, Gays, Mexicans and Bea Arthur)?

So keeping with the theme of the less-accomplished roaster trying to deride the "legend(s)" here are some suggestions for Jeff Ross..who obviously doesn't need my help (unless we're talking hair and clothes). It might go a little something like this:

"Mike and Mike, what a dais we have here tonight. We've got Jim Rome, the Fabulous Sports Babe, Barry Bonds and Craig Kilborn. Admittedly Kilborn, you were hard to locate. I checked unemployment lines, sex registry lists; yet nothing. What the hell have you been doing lately? I think Tom Mees has been on TV more than you in the past 5 years!"

"Mike and Mike get very good ratings, that's no secret. Although seriously guys, who wouldn't get ratings on ESPN (besides Playmakers, Stump the Schwab, Cheap Seats, Dreamjob Season 3, Unscripted with Chris Connelly, Bonds on Bonds, Beg Borrow and Deal, I'd Do Anything, Knight School and Fitness Beach). Would your show do as well on Lifetime or Al Jazeera? Actually, they've got you beat on Al Jazeera. It's Muhammad and Muhammad in the Ramadan. What Makes them different is what makes them likely to target innocent civilians in an act of terrorism"

"Now Mike and Mike, to be honest, enough is enough with the steroid talk. Every day it's steroids. If Barry Bonds did as much steroids and you guys talked about steroids, then he would look like the Fabulous Sports Babe."

"Hey look it's Jim Rome on the daius. Watching his television show, I haven't seen so much scripted entertainment since the WWE. Everyone remembers when Rome's schtick use to be his unrelenting, no holds barred interview approach? Now the guy loves everyone. He's about as hardball as Oprah at this point. And what's with the long moments of silence during his sentences? He's taking longer pauses after his last breath than Sean Taylor following a home invasion. "

"Seriously Mike and Mike - do you really have a segment called 'News of the Weird?' Every hacky local radio show called, they want their bit back."

And it's comforting to know that Mike and Mike in the Morning is in some capacity, reduplicated on SportsCenter,, ESPN the Magazine, and ESPN 2. You're now officially more overexposed than Gary Miller on a Cleveland balcony.

And enough of the corny songs with low production value. Your novelty songs make that crazy Ray Stevens seem like a comedic genius. Continue Entry»

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Carolina Blues

They continue to call it the "Big Ten- ACC Challenge," but after yet another embarrassing showing by the Mediocre Eleven, it's pretty clear that this annual challenge is about as competitive as the conflict in Darfur. Suprisingly though, OSU had one of the better showings; staying competitive with one of the top teams in the country for 3o minutes.

The storyline for most Buckeye fans had to be the emergence of freshman Jon Diebler. To say the guy had been struggling would be as obvious as saying has trouble reaching the 18-57 female demographic (or the humans 1 Day - 101 years demographic to be more exact). He had missed 31 of 35 from the field through his first 5 games; that's the type of shooting accuracy that will land you the part of a bad guy in a James Bond film. His poor play was painfully reminding Buckeye fans of the Sean Connolly era (I was even having Jon Sanderson hullucinations at one point).

Diebler certainly picked it up, demonstrating that he does belong in major division one basketball. His length also caused numerous problems for the UNC guards (minus Lawson) at the top of the zone. Where things went right for Diebler, they went horribly, horribly wrong for Kosta Koufos. This guy's draft status literally seems to plummet and jump depending on the night. Against Syracuse, I'm getting calls saying "one and done." Against North Carolina, I'm getting calls from authorities questioning my whereabouts the previous night.

By the way, the brutal schedule gets more brutaler(?) with matchups against Florida (never a good thing for the Scarlet and Gray), Butler (scorned by Thad) and Tennessee (maybe the best team in the SEC).
Lastly, this team shot 33 three-pointers last night. That's right, 33 out of their 70 field goal attempts were from behind the arc. Did I even mention that Tony Stockman isn't on this team anymore?
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Anderson Varejao Making Wild Financial Decisions

According to the venerable Chad Ford of, a guy that puts more emphasis on how many coveted "stats" a player can accumulate in gar-baj time rather than what impact a player is actually having on a game, has had a formal sit down with Anderson Varejao (something no hairstylist, or remedial English teacher has been able to schedule with AV in years).

In this tell-all, Anderson expressed his desire to persue other things.

"I wanted to come back," he said. "I love the fans and I really love my teammates. But there are others there that have made it very difficult. It's gotten to the point that I don't want to play there anymore. I'm just hoping for a sign-and-trade at this point."
Sign and trade sounds good on paper; well actually, looks good on paper. Problem is, it still involves another team valuing AV at around $8 or 9 million, something scoffed at by most GM's not named Isiah Thomas. The "Wild Thing" has already turned down a 5 year, $20 million deal. Truthfully, their negotiations are about as far apart as the BET Network and Michael Richards (they apparently weren't fond of his pilot called Monkey Business).

It looks like the Cavaliers and Brian Windhorst alike weren't prepared to deal with the craziness that is AV. It was always assumed that the Cavs had all the leverage simply because he's restricted. Problem is, much like a suicide bomber, your dealing with someone who obviously doesn't care about his future. That's right, I just compared AV to a terrorist. Gotta love hyperbole in the blog world. Perhaps in the meantime, AV can go visit Raleigh Durham and give his famed lecture on baiting the charge call. And we'll go back to missing Austin Carr's skillful handling of Anderson's last name.

By the way, LeBron apparently phoned AV.

"He just says, 'We love you and we're waiting.'" Varejao said. He keeps telling me he wants me back but to get the best deal I can and to take care of my family. He's a great teammate. He always supports us on and off the court."

So that makes two valuable players LeBron has now encouraged to "get the best deal he can." Which makes me real optimistic about him staying in Cleveland when some of his promotional deals have escalators based on him playing in a large market.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

National Football League to Adopt BCS Bowl System

New York - The NFL competition committee voted this morning to drastically alter the NFL postseason format in favor of a system mirroring the current college bowl setup. Their recommendation, to create a series of post-season football games with automatic tie-ins and to approve a formal ranking system designed to produce a "#1 vs #2" title game, will be voted on by the league's 32 owners next week.

The idea is the brainchild of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, who feels the NFL's post season format lacks the controversy associated with the college version.

"We often get shortchanced by the nationally syndicated sports talk shows, and by the contrived debate shows like Around the Horn, First Take and Pardon the Interruption," Goodell said. "This will get people talking about what really matters in football: whether or not your particular team is getting the respect they may or may not deserve in the polls and if the system itself is even fair to begin with."

Goodell isn't exactly in love with the entire college method of sending teams to a championship based on polls and computers. He says that while preseason rankings play too much of a role in determining which teams get into the championship game, he thinks they should first be released halfway through the previous season - simply to add fuel to the critics' fire.

One NFL owner favoring the new setup, who chose to be quoted under the cloak of anonymity, says his Washington Redkins football team would benefit from such unwarranted preseason hype.

"Look at half the teams in the SEC," the owner said on one of his Red Zebra radio stations. "They benefit by having overinflated rankings based on nothing more than hype and flawed preconceived notions about their alleged speed superiority. They then beat eachother up over the course of the season and stay inside the top 25 despite not playing a meaningful out-of-conference schedule. We just want the same advantage when the public and media buy into our preseason hype - we spend just as much money on talent as any of those SEC teams."

Goodell says the current NFL playoff system is too definitive and that it leaves little question as to who the best team is. Something he says needs to be corrected. He also thinks the league needs a more inclusive postseason format.

"Too many teams have been left out of the process," Goodell said. "This is all about giving the fans of the Browns, Cardinals and Lions something to cheer about in the often doormant month of January.

The only remaining question in the commissioner's system is if one particular NFL team will get their own stipulation to appear in a major bowl regardless of whether they deserve to be or not. The "Notre Dame" Clause will go before the committee in December or January - the same months that will feature the Irish not winning a bowl game.
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Indians Front Office to Rely on Message Boards in 08

CLEVELAND - The Cleveland Indians, considered around Major League Baseball as a budget-minded organization that champions value, has decided to shift personnel evaluation from their scouts - to free, easily accessible internet message boards.

The reigning American Central League Champions came within one game of advancing to the World Series in 07, only to be defeated by Boston Red Sox in three straight games. Many analysts believe the Indians playoff success will be short-lived because of their modest payroll.

“We recognized that as an organization, we have to constantly seek new answers and to think outside the box in order to improve this team,” said Indians GM Mark Shapiro. “Who better to turn to than our most fervent sect of followers, who wear their emoticons - I mean, emotions on their sleeves and refuse to settle for anything less than 1000 baseball. Nuff said.”

Shapiro will peruse five Indians message boards on a daily basis, each one systematically saved to his favorites in alphabetical order. He says he’ll put more of an emphasis on threads that are either “stickied” (a designation for topics that are permanently stationed towards the top of the board), or those that feature an animated fiery ball that denotes a highly responded to post.

Shapiro’s critics will almost assuredly point to the fickle nature of message boards, and that often times, emotions arouse to a point of irrationality after losses. Despite those concerns, the 2005, 07 Executive of the Year is determined to register and log on like everyone else.

“I’m not going to sit here and act like we’ll be hiring and firing coaches daily based solely on typical message board overreaction,” Shapiro said. “But if there’s a clarion call that demands a new direction, we’ll be emboldened by our fan base to make the necessary changes. If the sentiment is universal that a guy needs to be gone or that our manager got outmanaged, we won't hesitate to make the necessary moves."

The Indians first move under the new organizational setup was to re-implement the use of Chief Wahoo on all their uniforms – something Shapiro said was an easy decision; while viewing a recently "bumped" thread.

“IIRC, the majority of emoticons our fans use to illustrate their discontent, bears a strong resemblance to the offensive red-faced logo emblazoned on our uniforms since the 1940’s,” Shaprio said. “And if anyone has a problem with it, then pffffft to them - fwiw”
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Monday, November 5, 2007

Browns Defense Gets a Stop?

4th and one with the "Season of dreams" hanging in the balance, and our Cleveland Browns defense stiffens like Ryan Shay after a 26-mile stroll? (By the way, I'm now officially kicking myself for not entering the NY Marathon this matter how slow I would have run, it's guaranteed I wouldn't have finished in last). Who'd of thunk it that Browns defense would make a play when it counted? Not this guy (Yes, I'm predictably directing the thumbs of both my left and right hands in a manner as if to complete a hilarious, clich├ęd punch line in which the individual who's the object of the self finger-pointing happens to be the same masterful jokester who crafted the setup). So the Browns are 5-3 and Romeo is going NOWHERE, except back to the tailor to get his suits taken out (for the fifth time in as many months! (If you've got a better fat joke, please submit it under our extremely popular comments section).

So people have been calling me about the Brady Quinn situation. I'm here to tell you there is NO Brady Quinn situation. He now sits and waits until Derek Anderson gets injured - end of story. Anyone else noticing the interesting dynamic of Derek Anderson and his receivers? D.A. has about as much in common with K2 & Braylon as Lance Armstrong has with Ashley Olsen. (By the way Lance, you're a little late on this one, don't you think? Olsen hasn't been a sexy in eight years (checking the math...21-8 = 13..) Scratch that...9 years. You've got fatal flaws with K2 (worst NFL blocker since Robert Gallery) and Braylon (dropsies)...yet D.A continues to give them chances to succeed, and somehow they do.

By the way, shut up about the prevent defense. What would all the creative people have used as an adage if it was called the "enable defense?" Legitimately, the BBDB (bend-but-don't-break) defense has kept 95% of losing teams out of the endzone. Problem is, it's the 5% that people remember. Well, I had zero problem with Romeo rushing three at the end of regulation. Did you really trust our DB's who had already given up a career day (literally) to Bobby Engram, to keep from getting burnt? Exactly.

By the way..the movie poster above is "Flowers in the Attack" one of my childhood favorites. It's a dark movie that interweaves abuse, murder and incest all in a 90-minute thrill ride! And by thrill ride, I'm of course referring to some of the worst acting this side of Kristy Swanson (who's ironically in the movie!). Did I mention there are numerous scenes where incest is strategically implied?
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007's Annual Halloween Post!

First of's a completely fictitious aol instant messenger conversation that eventually led to the our special Halloween relaunch of

IloveBraylon69: So what's your costume going to

2girls1cuplover: I was thinking either a
registered sex offender or LeBron's free throw shooting coach.

IloveBraylon69: LeBron has a free throw shooting

2girls1cuplover: Yeah that's true...I guess I'd have a better chance dressing up as LeBron's father.

Screw that.. registered sex offender it is.

IloveBraylong69: So you're obviously going as yourself

2girls1cuplover: You got it.

IloveBraylong69: Hey, remember that unsuccessful site that we ran that not
only wasted our time, but also our reader's?


IloveBraylon69: The other one


IloveBraylon69: Yep..let's relaunch

2girls1cuplover: Sure.

So there you have it. Much has happened during our four-month hiatus. For one...many more terrible Cleveland sports blogs have started. I figured someone out there would at least stumble onto a creative and compelling format. Never once happened. Why would I want to read someone else's unfunny hack writing, when I have my own to fall back on? So here's just a taste of the events that we may have missed, with an exhaustive bank of opinions and analysis to follow. Readers are encouraged to write in with more if they'd like more reaction.

LeBron plays well in the olympics: Technically everyone played well (except for Billups). Also, can idiot fans stop calling Rizzo's show with "Look how great LeBron played with a point guard! See.! That proves how good the Cavs could be with a point guard!" Oh really? Did we really need Team USA to prove this? We're just now finding out that all-star point guards are valuable? Also, EVERYONE played well on Team USA. So I'm not exactly sure why Cavs fan hang onto this egocentric view that only LeBron plays better with a point guard. Also - how about the fact that Kobe Bryant was on this team as well? Did that help anyones cause?

Indians go on amazing post-season run: Well, if we're prepared to call winning a 5 game series against a team of the brink of disbanding and then choking away three straight games in humiliating fashion, then I guess a "run" it is. Obviously it was exciting and they should be happy they got as far as they did - but let's be honest, unless the Dolans demonstrate a willingness to bring in free agents, then there's no guarantee this team every makes the playoffs again. See the ultimate misnomer in baseball is that spending money doesn't guarantee you anything. Not true. It guarantees you that the percentages are on your side for making the playoffs. And as we know, advancing in the MLB playoffs is about as skill-driven rock scissors paper.
Browns are potentially playoff bound: The one and only disappointing aspect of this year is that the Browns let this guy get away. The fact is, the Browns have a legitimately explosive offense. The defense: About as good as you would expect with a team granting serious playing time to Simon Frasier. Has anyone purchased
Continue Entry»

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Michael Vick Loves Dogs

It looks as if "Ron Mexico" may not be suiting up for the first day of minicamp, as he will be arraigned by a federal court on the very same day that he's supposed to uncomfortably put his pads on over his herpes outbreaks and get ready for another mediocre, injury-plagued season. Usually, I'm all for athletes getting in trouble off the field, in fact it's well documented that I actually support players who do awful shit in their personal lives and then perform well on the field, court or whatever the surface may be (Kobe Bryant, T.O., Barry Bonds...I could be here all night listing the crop of awful people I support). That being said, this is a situation that even I can't comprehend. I mean there are reports of this guy actually hanging puppies, electrocuting dogs who wouldn't fight, and it's even being speculated that Mr. Vick may have even eaten a live human being. At least he will have lots of street cred when he gets into prison, since to these "Thugs" having a pittbull is some sort of symbol of power. On a related note, we have a small white and brown cat named Frank at our house, does that give us any Street Cred? Come on, not even a little? What if we brought in a big bad Siamese cat and made them fight to the death? What the hell is wrong with this guy?

I doubt this guy will ever play professional football again, and I can't even imagine how miserable it will be trying to watch SportsCenter for the next few months with this garbage as the headline every day. All kidding aside though, the most important part of this equation clearly revolves around Madden '08. We have to assume that he's already in the game, due to the fact that it will be released in less than a month. However, if they pull him out of the game, every bad Madden player on earth who relies on rolling out of the pocket with Vick and running every down will be shit outta luck. Check back for further updates, as we at will do everything in our power to not post anything for the next month or so. Continue Entry»

Thursday, July 5, 2007

My Wish

So how about ESPN rolling out the second installment of their mildly ostentatious series "My Wish?" You know, the self-important series that enthusiastically brings together both tragedy and awkwardness like nobody else. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that terminally ill children get to meet millionaire athletes who pose as mentors for a day (did anyone see how many times Dwyane Wade peered down at his Rolex during his one-on-one matchup with Noah?), I just don't want to be made to feel badly about how well things are going in my life.

So without further adieu, I present to you my personal wishes. And save the obvious jokes about me either wishing to: have a job, or to have a sense of humor, or to meet a member of the opposite sex, or to meet a member of the opposite sex of age, or not of age...just save them.


-Clevelanders would stop talking about what a “blue collar” city we are. They act like it’s a badge of honor, when in reality, it’s worse than walking around with a scarlet letter, but not as bad as genital herpes (trust me). I’m not interested in getting guys who wear the proverbial hardhat and carry around the metaphorical lunch pale. I’m interested in talented megalomaniacs who show up on gamedays and perform; not guys built in the Mason Unck-mode who might overachieve on the occasional Sunday (during the off-season while auditioning for the arena league).

-Browns fans would realize that we’re not one of the top fan bases in all of sports. What exactly have they been basing this on over the past 20 years? The fact that we have a largest backers organization? All that signifies is that there’s been a mass exodus from our mediocre city (see my blue-collar rant). You know who else thinks they have the best fans in the NFL? Let’s see… Kansas City, Denver, Green Bay, Oakland, Seattle, Buffalo, Indianapolis, Philadelphia, both New York teams, Dallas, Washington, Chicago, Minnesota, and Arizona – OK, Just seeing if you were paying attention.

-Tribe fans would stop lauding Mark Shapiro as the best GM in sports history. I think he’s been fine, but eventually we’ll have to realize that getting lucky in the draft here and there doesn’t necessarily translate to world championships. Unless you’re operating under the assumption that it’s impossible to win a championship with Dolan’s philosophy..err..lack of funds, then you have to reevaluate the job Shapiro has done to this point. He’s been good, but not great.

-A select few would stop exaggerating the public’s feelings on performance enhancing drugs. I just did an informal poll this morning, and neither myself or the 15 people I correspond with on have any problems with steroids. Come to think of it, I want my players cheating, on the field and on their wives. And when are all the Barry Bonds bashers going to entertain the thought that he’s probably hit some home runs off some juiced pitchers? Should those home runs be then considered “legitimate?”

-The PD’s Bill Livingston would write an entertaining column for Clevelanders younger than 72. Actually that’s rather presumptuous. That’s assuming people above that age are entertained by “Livy.” And you know what? I just asked Roberto Hernandez this yesterday and he’s not a reader.

-General Mills would sell Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk. In my book, there’s nothing better (there’s also a ton of typos in my book, which is still looking for a publicist).

-Sports(some)Time(s) Ohio would ban Matt Underwood from using the term “souvenir city.” With all the late-game heroics of late, the national media has gotten their fill of the terrible catchphrase. What’s he going to come up with next…"Goodbye Baseball?" Oh that’s right, he uses that one too. Continue Entry»

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Draft Dodging

OK, so Thursday night the Cavaliers organization was about as active as Chris Benoit's upcoming 4th of July family picnic, but it this necessarily a bad thing? People in the collective Cavs nation are seemingly outraged about their lack of a draft deal. But of course, half of the "Cavs nation" just started watching basketball four years ago (and that includes Kenny Roda, and myself, and Mike Brown).

This morning in Brian Windhorst's critically acclaimed blog, he reports that Chris Sheridan wrote that a Larry Hughes deal might be on the horizon.

he heard the Cavs were shopping Larry Hughes. This is true and this has been true since the trading deadline when Danny Ferry openly told the media that he had conversations about every player on his roster with the exception of LeBron James....he’s just not a good fit with LeBron at this point. They do not complement each other and most times they do not have a great chemistry on the court.

Hmm..they don't complement each other? I thought LeBron supposedly has this all-encompassing, omniscient ability to make the game easier for everyone. Sure seems that Gilbert Arenas was able to mesh fairly well with Larry Hughes...


In Bill Livingston's profoundly confusing piece this morning about past finals sweeps, he lets it be known that the Cavs/Spurs cannot possibly be considered the most lopsided sweep of all time. Well, it came in second place. But remember, second place only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and the Special Olympics.


Also, count as one of the leading nattering nabobs of negativity when it comes to LeBron's decision to play in next month's FIBA America's tournament. Not necessarily because we care about his durability, but mostly because we care about Team USA's fortunes. Other than marketing considerations, we still don't understand why he was invited to play on Team USA. You would think we'd have this down by now. Guys who don't have a midrange game and can't shoot consistently from the outside are a liability, not a plus in international league play.

Sure the rules are gimmicky and senseless (International officials stole many ideas from this game show), but it doesn't change the fact that LeBron dribbled way too much and took way, wayyyy too many perimeter jumpers last year - and what exactly have we seen in 2007 to make us think he's learned his lessons? Not to mention he still can't shoot free throws or commit himself on the defensive end, or complete a sentence without continued double negative use. Continue Entry»

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Trade LeBron for Kobe

Before I get to the central premise of this post, I have two simple questions I'd like our four remaining readers to answer objectively:

1) How certain are you that someone who wants to be the richest man in the world and who wants to optimize his exposure on an international level will actually sign an extension to stay in Cleveland, Ohio?

2) In all honestly, who would you rather have in an NBA finals to help win you a title RIGHT NOW against a team that will flat-out not allow you to get to the basket? A 22 year-old specimen who lacks a mid-range game who would continue to "get guys involved" even if he was playing in a coed wheelchair basketball league, or a seasoned vet with rings and an ability to score 35 points a game on jump shots alone who refuses to let a weak supporting cast cost him games when they're not hitting?

My answers:
1: Not very
2: Kobe Bryant

We learned something very important during the playoff run: The Cavalier supporting cast is much better than they've been getting credit for. Think about it. LeBron's shooting percentage during the entire post-season was an unimpressive 41% - and that includes his fluky 48-point game 5 performance against the Pistons. (And by the way, LeBron was one of the worst three-point shooters in the NBA this season. Once the playoffs started, it got historically bad - he shot 28%. This aspect of his game just should just NOT be part of his arsenal. Keep in mind, that teams are giving him this shot b/c they are rightly terrified about his ability to get to the hole). Yet despite his poor shooting and equally bad decision making, the Cavaliers continued to win.

Now back to the alleged "bad" supporting cast. The same supporting cast that had a second round draft pick step up and outplay LeBron in San Antonio. How many rookies in the league have EVER done that in the NBA finals on the road?

How about an undersized power forward who shot over 50% and nabbed 6 rebounds a game while playing only half the minutes, while also shutting down Detroit's power forwards late in the series both mentally and physically? AV's pretty good, and when paired up with Drew Gooden, the Cavaliers get a very solid 48 minutes of power forward play a night.

While Larry Hughes' injuries clearly caught up to him, he outplayed LeBron in the Wizards series (each game was much closer than they should have been, and Hughes was the guy hitting shots down the stretch).

And don't forget about Z and how he single-handedly dismantled the Wiz and had his moments in the Detroit series while giving them fits on the boards.

So this team obviously has some talent and is closer to a championship than so many of us thought they were. LeBron is a huge part of this - if not the biggest (although I could write 5000 words on why Mike Brown was more important, but then you'll call me Skip Bayless and then I would threaten to fight you).

So given the fact that I'm not willing to risk losing LeBron b/c Cleveland isn't exactly a haven for "global icons," - LeBron's poorly chosen words, not mine, and given the fact that Kobe is still the best player in the game and the most annoying guy to defend in the league (other than the tuberculosis guy), I think the Cavs organization would be crazy not to pursue a LeBron James for Kobe Bryant trade, all salary cap restrictions considered. The Cavs could even throw in Gloria's yellow plates to make the deal work!

Think about it how unique this opportunity would be in the history of sports. When could you add the best player in the game to a team that just made it to the finals? I know the concept is sacrilege to Clevelanders, who are myopic enough to believe the city of Cleveland could actually be able to retain a young, talented employee. Continue Entry»

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Cavs have a big game tonight.

Against Detroit. Some say there's some significance as well. Continue Entry»

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Tony and Joe Return

Back despite no particular demand of any kind, it's the "Tony and Joe Show."

We're still the most interactive internet show on the planet that doesn't involve calls, guests or e-mails. There's tons of LeBron bashing, which our readers and listeners can't get enough of. Even more importantly, there's no lame Mike and Mike-like teases, such as "We'll tell you which team is down 2-0 to the Cavs, coming up next." We also break the news that Phil Savage and Jamarcus Russell have some sort of long relationship that dates back to Russell's prenatal existence in his mother's womb. Continue Entry»

Monday, April 16, 2007 Meets Bad Internet Radio

OK so there are no phone calls, no guests, and nothing but contrived banter that's often scripted well in advance, but is proud to embark on its newest endeavor (because the past endeavors have clearly been so successful): low budget, poorly produced internet radio. The fine people at Moohead Radio have assisted us in launching this sure-to-miss broadcast project. It's called the "Tony and Joe Show" and it can be heard on Mondays from 4:00 to 5:00 EST. Click HERE for the Tony and Joe Show

As for a return to traditional daily blogging, well, I wouldn't hold your breath. Continue Entry»

Monday, April 2, 2007

National Championship Blog...

ATLANTA, GA - Just when you thought was out, the Buckeyes pulled us back in (and by "in," we mean, we'll be doing a running diary and following that up with weeks of non-posting).

8:57 EST- It's unanimous, not one national pundit, blogger, radio host, columnist, and television camera operator thinks the Buckeyes can't win tonight. Problem is, Thad Matta's mother has a drive time radio show in Illinois.

9:06 - CBS couldn't find a spot for Gus Johnson anywhere? And as I write that, they played his historic call of the Ron Lewis' shot against Xavier.

9:09 - Billy Donovan - "You're playing for the guy next to you." He then added, "Do it for Teddy Dupay...he's got lots of money riding on this.

9:16 - Greg Oden just got whistled for his second foul. And in just a few minutes, the 2007 national title game gets underway!

9:18 - Billy Packer, "Mike Conley, he's a guard everyone dreams about." Well, to be honest, just John Amaechi...and in a few months, Richard Jefferson (Just remember where you heard it, it's the worst kept secret in America).

9:23 - Horford with a quick foul 2 minutes in, and subsequently yanked

9:29 - We're 3o minutes in Monday Night Raw, and no appearance by the freshly bald Vince Mcmahon? How is this possible?

9:34- Florida mixing up defenses like Joakim Noah mixes in a man dress from time to time.

9:37 - Great, our national championship is being besieged with touch fouls.

9:42 - Halfway through the first half, Billy Packer is only slightly grating, with shorts stints of abrasiveness. The early line was 70% irritability.

9:48 - OSU 1 of 7 from deep, they have zero chance of pulling the upset with those numbers. Also, Brewer has put the defensive clamps down on Ron Lewis. Florida is rarely doubling on the post, meaning OSU guards need to beat their guy one-on-one off the dribble. Other than Conley, it's not happening. (Florida 21- OSU 15)

9:58 - OSU 2-10 from three point range. Florida 5-7. No reason to get real technical, we knew OSU wouldn't have much of a chance if Florida was hitting from outside. Compound that with the Buckeyes' inability to hit mostly wide open looks, and it's a recipe for disaster.

10:05 - I've had 7 calls already about the officiating. To be honest, I don't think OSU has been getting shafted. Oden has had some blocks that you know could go either way. And OSU is content shooting threes. Where's the penetration?

Halftime - Florida 40 - OSU 29

10:22 - Dick Enberg's annual witty and profound piece revolved around hands. He just threw in more puns than Jim Nantz watching Carrot Top's routine (Which is still funnier than this running diary).

10:39 - Buckeyes now 2 of 14 from 3. Oden is finally dominating offensively (something we've been waiting for all season), but he's actually killing OSU defensively. I know I know, he's blocking shots galore, but look at where Florida's success is coming from - the outside, where Oden is too slow helping on the screens

10:41 - If ever there was an offense that Tony Stockman was made for, this is it. I mean, it's the national title game, OSU is dominating inside, and we're hurling up threes as if it cures cancer. Yet, every player wearing red has the absolute green light from the outside.

10:44 - Mike Conley finally remembers he's the quickest guard in college basketball and penetrates (I've done little to no research to back that up, but I'm basing it on a few tournament games).

10:51 - Not to belabor the point, but Jamar Butler is 0-4 from 3, Ron Lewis is 0-3, and Ivan Harris is 2-9.

10:54 - Humphrey's three along with two point-blank misses and a dunk by lose balls are going to Florida (Humphrey misses a three so badly it goes right to Richard who gets an and one). Now down 14

11:00 - Hats off to Oden, he's playing his 35 year old ass off. Too bad this doesn't look like it's going to end well. (Nantz says he's had to present his birth certificate often...I run into the same problem on teen dating sites)

11:04 - Buckeyes deploy a press I haven't seen all year, and subsequently force a few turnovers. Where's Gus Johnson..?? Can we mobilize the national guard fly him in or something? I just can't see Jim Nantz calling a comeback.

11:07 - Florida getting extremely fortunate with the possessions after blocked shots. OSU needs to come up with lose balls. By the way, if you don't think Thad is getting ripped after this game about their commitment to the outside shot, then you don't know how national blogs and Skip Bayless work.

11:12 - Green hits another three. OSU is playing damn well in the second half and OSU is down 9.

11:14 - David Lighty comes into the game to play shut down defense, and instead shoots a three. Dagger.

11:18 - It's not all bad Buckeye fans, let's get ready for One Shining Moment!! How many missed threes can they throw into a three-minute song??

11:21 - Wow, Mrs. Noah was a former Ms. Sweden, apparently someone didn't age well.

11:28 - OSU ON FIRE, they've cut it to 9 with 9 seconds left!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:30 - I think Noah has lost all dancing privileges after this game, talk about killing your draft status.

11:31 - And it's over. OSU loses to Florida again. Talk about a tough pill to swallow not named "RU-486." Hey, at least we have a better recruiting class in 07, and 08. So we have that going for us. No shame in this defeat, outside of Noah, you'd have to say Florida played pretty well. They shot lights out from the outside, got every lose ball late while OSU was attempting to mount a comeback, and shot 88% from the foul line.
Continue Entry»

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

LeBron Building a House With All Those Bricks (Literally)

BATH TOWNSHIP - We're still scratching our heads why LeBron's new house, which we've known about since 2003, is all of a sudden newsworthy - that of course won't stop us from giving it more exposure. But seriously, the ABJ is impressed, as is WKYC. If you're like us, you've been openly questioning his priorities (and his taste in women) in the last calendar year. Fear not Cavs fans, he'll be working on his game each day; his bowling game. Would you believe there's not one basketball hoop in the entire place - all 35,000 sq ft of it? If ever there was a place he could not work on his free throws, you would assume his mansion would be that place. And don't be fooled LeBron fans, there's absolutely an ostentatious side of LeBron you never get to see (if we're not counting the contrived pregame ritual stolen from MJ, or the facial expressions he has to make after a wide open dunk when he's busy not getting back on defense); a limestone sculpture of himself. Continue Entry»

Last Call for Happy Hour - Kenny's Show Hits the Road

Oh the vagaries of post-Salem sports talk radio in Cleveland. According to a report on, WKNR personality Kenny Roda is out as the station's longtime afternoon drive sports talker. And his surprising replacement...

Sports radio stalwart Mark "Munch" Bishop is bolting Clear Channel Communications - and his gigs as sports director on WMJI and WMMS - for a job at sports-talk station WKNR. The voice of sports on WMMS and WMJI's popular Lanigan & Malone morning show is set to take over the afternoon-drive shift, 3-6 p.m., on WKNR.

Now, we were never the biggest fans of the Pittsburgh native's style, but ironically, his show was THE Cleveland sports talk show that had the pulse of the Cleveland fan. He didn't necessarily have the most entertaining afternoon all sports talk show in town, or the worst. Actually, he had the only one - and for many years. Which is the point. The Cleveland sports scene certainly needed and deserved a fresh voice. Roda and the recently reassigned Greg Brinda had the monopoly on the local airways for far too long, with no major ratings jump since Art Modell gave Clevelanders a reason to listen.

As for Munch, he's certainly capable of injecting some new life into WKNR. Anyone familiar with his Buckeye gameday shows on WTVN in Columbus certainly know what's he's capable of. He's a bare bones type of sports talker, who knows the players and coaches inside and out. The guy also might be able to roll off every high school mascot in the state of Ohio, which is actually kind of creepy, but different. And given the recent history of the same Tim Couch/Akili Smith-type sports talk in this town, different is good.

Many "insiders" at WKNR have already suggested to that Roda will now anchor the post-game show, where his candor and "hotty" talk will be far better received (And maybe he won't stay so tight lipped about his son Cameron's amateur sports career, which many listeners have been clamoring to hear). Continue Entry»

Monday, March 26, 2007

Much like the Cleveland Browns offensive Line, is currently under construction (You were probably also thinking "Crappy" and "Clinically Depressed"...Sorry Ryan Tucker). Continue Entry»

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Oden the most dominant, but Conley the most valuable (How pissed was the PD when they realized it's four more hotel days for Livingston and 16 more meals on their tab?) . Miles of smiles on way to Atlanta

Kelly Shoppach threw three runners out yesterday on the basepads, that exact feat happens to be Victor's goal for the 2007 season. Tribe notes

"O.J. calls you, you don't call O.J" - words that should be emblazoned on OJ Mayo's business card. OJ Mayo not spoiled despite heat of last year (Looks like Windhorst will now be riding the coattails of a new superstar not named LeBron)

You have to overpay to get free agents in sports. When you're the Browns, you have to really overpay.

Jeff Shudel isn't exactly thrilled about the Browns QB situation. You know what Jeff, we're not really thrilled about your website which doesn't insert spaces between paragraphs, or print Les Levine or Roger Brown's columns. Trading for Trent Green is next step Continue Entry»

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Light(y)'s Out

Ohio State will participate in the 2007 Final Four in Atlanta after defeating Memphis 92-76 early this evening...and who isn't impressed with the composure and consistent ability of this team to battle back? This game had all the usual elements...announcers continually praising Greg Oden (Shown above looking semi-retarded), five or more comments about Thad Matta's gum on the floor, Conley using the hesitation move to perfection and Jamar Butler knocking down a long distance 3-pointer down the stretch from almost half-court. Perhaps the best sign was that they actually outplayed Memphis for a good part of this game (Well besides the stretch of about 8 minutes where the Tigers couldn't miss a shot regardless of the level of difficulty). Also, they were able to score 90 points, which shows the versatility of this team to win games in the 50's and also high scoring affairs (They'll need it if they draw UNC in the next we noticed from the first matchup).
David Lighty played big minutes in the first half, and showed off his natural leaping ability on a number of occasions. Greg Oden went down with his third foul just 2:30 into the second half, and Memphis was able to gain a five point advantage with him on the bench. When he returned, Ohio State took over the game, and he (For once) was a dominating presence in the paint and really did change the game. Congratulations to Memphis for again having the most athletic team on the planet, and not reaching their potential...maybe next year they'll think of putting some more challenging out of conference games into their schedule to prepare them for the big boys in the tournament. Who's next for the Buckeyes...will it be North Carolina or the thieves from Georgetown who should have been on a plane home last night if it weren't for a set of blind referees? It might be nice to knock Georgetown and return the favor from last year, so I'll be pulling for the Hoyas...Go Buckeyes!
AP Photo
Continue Entry»

Friday, March 23, 2007

Used Carr for Sale

The Browns were burned once by a first pick "franchise" quarterback; they now have the chance to make that mistake one more time. The Texans finally waived David Carr, the first pick in the '02 draft. There's been more than enough speculation on the Browns quarterback situation heading into the upcoming draft, and whether or not they were content with the one-two punch in the stomach of Ken Dorsey and Derek Anderson. Carr almost assuredly would be real familiar with the Browns' offensive system of sack-fumble-sack-punt, the same system he had been running so efficiently in Houston. And please don't forget that we now employ his former offensive line coach Steve Marshall (talk about a free agent selling point, I can just imagine Savage.."We'll David, we don't have good weather or a decent economy, our taxes are outragious, and oh yeah, we can reunite you with the same o'line coach who got you a record-number of sacks - did you bring a pen so we can get this done now?")
Continue Entry»

23 or 24?

In lieu of Kobe's recent run, which by the way is probably the most impressive 3-game run in recent basketball history (and oh yea they've won all 3 games), we here at figured it was time to do a little comparison of Lebron and without further ado here we go:
Outside Game: Lets keep in mind that LeBron is not even through his fourth year of play, and let me also say that we are more than thrilled to have LeBron in Cleveland, and that we are well aware that our franchise lays primarily within his wings. That being said, Kobe Bryant is far and away a better shooter than LeBron, and the big argument is that Kobe wasn't as good as LeBron at this point in their respective careers. Well, Kobe did average 22.5 pts, 6 rebounds and 5 assists a game in his fourth year, while winning an NBA championship and shooting 46% from the floor and 83% from the foul line. LeBron, so far this year, is averaging 27 pts, 7 rebounds and 6 assists a game, while shooting 48% from the floor and a miserable 69% from the foul line. Yes we know Kobe played with a dominant Shaq at that time, however his supporting cast is average at best now, and you have to wonder if LeBron will ever be able to take over a game from the outside like Kobe does on a nightly basis shooting jumpers that have a ridiculous degree of difficulty...Edge: Kobe Bryant.
Inside Game: Lebron can get to the basket whenever he wants...but isn't that the problem considering he often seems content hoisting up bad shots and fadeaways that simply aren't a strong suit of his? Does anyone else notice that if 'Bron makes one jumper, he launches another on the next possession without fail? Kobe doesn't go to the basket quite as much as he used to, but when he does he is very efficient and is still on of the most dynamic dunkers in the game (stay tuned,our staff is in the process of compiling a dunkers analysis). LeBron is simply unstoppable in the paint, and at some times so is Kobe - who is the superior post-up player, however we have got to give the edge to LeBron here...Edge: LeBron(When he wants it).

Continue Entry»

In the News

An extremely long-winded breakdown of Greg Oden's fouls. Definitely worth sending Bill Livingston to San Antonio. Speed leaves Oden behind

Looks like teams have adjusted to the Cavs' offense. Cavs' offense requires tune-up

"The general manager looks smarter if I pitch better," - Indians reliever Paul Byrd. That doesn't bode well for Mark Shapiro and his upcoming appearance on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" Byrd still could be an asset for Indians

A terrrrrrible interview with Bil Walton as he talks Cavs. Bill Walton sees hopes for Cavaliers

Get ready for tons of "Matta to Kentucky" articles, they're coming. Kentucky hasn't asked OSU to speak to Matta

JC goes for 60, again. Bryant stays on fire, extends 50-point streak for Lakers Continue Entry»

Survive and Advance Part Two

SAN ANTONIO, TX - Wow. Down 36-16 with 9:33 left to go in the first half, the Buckeyes' two best players were out with foul trouble and most OSU fans we're reminded of a certain national championship debacle that had transpired just three months prior. Next thing you know the Buckeyes slash the Volunteer lead to 6 roughly six minutes into the second half. With Oden on the sideline in foul trouble much of the second half, the Buckeyes took the lead and held on for dear life as they advanced to the Elite 8 for the just the second time since Scoonie Penn and John Sanderson allegedly appeared in the Final Four in '99.

It seemed like the absolute worst-case scenario for the Bucks in the first half as UT was raining down threes and the Buckeyes' best players were in significant foul trouble (Oden's third came just 14 minutes into the game). Their 19-game winning streak was in serious jeopardy, while Oden had just 2 points on 1 attempt in the first half. They persevered, and drove to the basket on almost every possession as they battled back relentlessly. Who would have thought a Big Ten team could win a game played in the mid-80's? Bo Ryan must have had multiple heart attacks.

It's now down to chalk in the South and the Buckeyes face Memphis Saturday at 4:40. I'm guessing a 20 point deficit isn't exactly in the game plan when they face the Tigers. Go Bucks. Continue Entry»

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Diebler Advances to State Final

COLUMBUS, OH - Technically you could say it was an off-game for future Buckeye Jon Diebler, who scored only 24 points tonight in the state semifinal against Poland Seminary. But then again, how many times has a near-quadruple double at the state semifinals been considered an "off-game?" Ohio's all-time leading points scorer had 9 assists, 15 rebounds and 9 steals as Upper Sandusky routed 89-58. You'll be able to see Diebler in the division 2 championship game against Dayton Dunbar Saturday on ONN at 2:00.

Diebler Highlight Video

No Longer a Tall Tale

Also, don't forget to check out another soon-to-be Buckeye Kosta Koufos. The 7'2 center will lead Canton Glen Oak tomorrow in Columbus against Cincinnati St Xavier for the chance to play for the Division 1 title. And by the way, he's pretty good. Prepare to see dribble drive moves from a 7-footer.

Continue Entry»

What to Watch

OSU vs Tennessee 9:57 CBS
Aladome - San Antonio Texas

I'm a little nervous. I know I know, we've won 19 in a row and, we've had our signature close call in the tournament that's supposed to guarantee a national championship or something, oh yeah, and we have the dominating Greg Oden.

Here's what I'm a little nervous. Firstly, everyone knows we dodged a gigantic bullet in early January against this exact same Volunteer team. There were some iffy circumstances towards the end of that game, including a missed free throw late by their best player Chris Lofton (his teammates have been calling him "Buckeye" ever since. Think that might be a story line tonight?), and a missed out-of-bounds call that could have cost OSU the game. Bruce Pearl has been overly flattering of late with his OSU comments; "They've not broken out yet, they've not had that breakout game that we all know they're capable of."

Either way, the Buckeyes just flat-out did not handle their pressure well in the first meeting, yet Oden had his "breakout" game, by all accounts. Many Volunteers (like Lofton) did not have very good individual games. By the way, Mike Tirico just picked UT, for whatever that's worth. By the way, Tennessee generally has the more attractive cheerleaders, with the exception of this one.

Continue Entry»

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Tribe Opening Day Roster: Miller Light

I like Mark Shapiro. I like Eric Wedge. I even tolerate the Dolans. As far as small market front offices go, the Cleveland Indians seem to have it figured out. However, I do see one major philosophical difference between the organization and the fanbase. The general perception from the fans is that the Indians management is too slow in utilizing its plethora of young talent. In this case, I think the fanbase is right.

Why in the name of Herbert Perry do we baby our prospects in favor of aging, rundown veterans? Talent can only be developed so much in AAA before it needs to be faced with higher competition, greater pressure, and larger mistakes. It's the only way a young ballplayer can learn the ropes of the major leagues. And the Indians have loads of talent in Buffalo just waiting for that opportunity. Yet, every year we seem to make a few pointless Trot Nixon/Jason Johnson/Todd Hollandworth(less) signings that prevent this young talent from contributing on the major league level. Let's not forget, this is the same front office in 2005 that thought an old, fragile Juan Gonzalez (who, by the way, could pull his hamstrings playing shuffelboard) was a better option than Grady Sizemore.

And the trend continues as Adam Miller was sent to minor league camp today. So far in spring training, he has thrown 14 scoreless innings. Eric Wedge commented on his performance, saying, "He's been as impressive as any player in camp. You can't ask for much more than he's done."

So what's his reward? A bus ticket to Buffalo. I guess there is no point in giving him a shot at the big league club when you have a dominant #5 starter like Paul Byrd. Jeez, what if Miller is the next Liriano or Verlander? I guess we won't know until someone gets hurt.

Click here for the exciting conclusion! Continue Entry»

In the News

The Garko headline in the PD today is Making his first catch. hasn't spent much time in Winterhaven this season, but if that headline is accurate, his defense has been even worse than we thought.

Grady Sizemore now batting .130 (although how can I make fun, I couldn't even hit that well when I played T-Ball by myself). Tribe Insider

Browns sign Lenny Friedman...for what? They need another lawyer? Friedman rejoins Browns

Windhorst is blaming Mike Brown for last night's loss. Right Brian, it was Mike Brown who told Sasha to turnover the ball in regulation, and it was Brown who told LeBron to needlessly drive inside when he could have pulled the ball out late, and it was definitely Mike Brown who told LeBron to shoot a contested 28-footer with Matt Carroll in his face as time expired. Windhorst Blog

I guess the NBA is in no hurry to bring in an undersized point guard who can't shoot...this must be the first time ever. Conley staying

Paying his debt to society, or paying his debt to his bookies? TV station gambles on host has supposedly overtaken in traffic. Any coincidence that this occurs after launches? I think not. Continue Entry»

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


Well call me f*ck*ng Nostradamus, the Cavs went ahead and blew a 13 point halftime lead against the second-worst team in the East tonight after I stupidly talked them up in last night's article (Oh yea, Detroit won tonight as well). Keep in mind that Emeka Okafor, Brevin Knight, Sean May and Derek Anderson were all inactive tonight, leaving coach Bernie Bickerstaff with a gaggle of hideously ugly white boys to work with this evening (Anyone else feel like they were watching a John Carroll University game with all these long haired, silly looking lacrosse players on the floor?). Walter Herrmann showed the ability to knock down wide open three pointers repeatedly tonight, and apparently the Cavs didn't figure out that someone should guard this guy after the first few went down (He wins the Brian Skinner award for the most average player to look like an All-Star against the Cavs tonight). Apparently Michael Jordan is a solid judge of talent, as Matt Carroll seems to be a gritty competitor, although I wouldn't have said this had Scott Williams not talked about it 3,000 times during the game (Think it's time to get off Michael's nuts Scott? Nah let's play out the fact that you played a very insignificant role on those championship teams for a few more years).
Lebron played a great game, and was practically the only offensive presence for the Cavs in the second half...however the inability to make free throws and smart decisions down the stretch offset the 37 points and didn't allow the good guys to come out on top. I doubt that Mike Brown told Lebron to fire up a fadeaway three pointer when we had seven seconds to win the game in regulation, but hey if that goes in I suppose I'm writing a positive article instead of this one (Also, it didn't even look like he got that shot off in time, and even though that is irrelevant now, how can that happen in that situation? Were my eyes playing tricks on me? Did he really get locked down by Matt Carroll?).
Perhaps they were looking ahead to the Mavs tomorrow, although this is an overplayed excuse and I don't even want to discuss it any further. Drew Gooden came out tonight and scored two points, and perhaps this was his response to me talking him up this weekend for his recent solid play (Cavs players love to play awful games whenever I say anything positive about I guess I'll stop doing that). Donyell Marshall made me sick tonight, going 0-3 from deep and continuing the be the slowest, most unathletic man on the Earth. Perhaps there's a reason why his minutes have diminished, and in my opinion this guy should sit at the end of the bench and smirk at coach Brown like he seems to do every time he gets taken out of a game.
Eric Snow played a solid defensive game, and in speaking with my fellow author SportsBoyTony, we feel he should get some serious consideration for All-NBA First Team defensive honors at the point guard position. Jason Kidd won the award last year, however can he lock down 3 different positions in crunch time like Snow can? We think not! It's not the end of the world, however you can't hope to win the top spot in the Eastern Conference losing games to the hapless Bobcats. Tomorrow night's game will be broadcasted on ESPN, so look for a big game from Lebron, and perhaps his supporting cast won't take another night off like they did this evening.
AP Photo
Continue Entry»

Bruce Drennan Hired at SportsTime Ohio

CIVILIAN LIFE - The heavily anticipated Bruce Drennan era is now officially underway at Sports(Some)Time(S) Ohio. The "iconic"[sic] Cleveland Sportscaster-turned movie critic-turned gambling ring participant is part of the new daily programming lineup that will, I hope you're sitting down for this, air a full 24 hours of programming out of the possible 24 hour viewing day (kind of ruins our running joke about their station name, although they are still running amateur poker and occasionally Cleveland Indians baseball). They've even come up with a clever name for Drennan's show in their official release...

SportsTime Ohio’s show will be called "All Bets Are Off with Bruce Drennan" and will make its debut on April 1 live at 7:00pm. Fans will be able to call in (1-866-STOTLK1) and discuss Ohio sports with Drennan. "All Bets Are Off" will air Sunday nights at 7:00pm and Monday through Thursday at 3:00pm.

"Bruce is a perfect match for our network," said Jim Liberatore President of SportsTime Ohio. "He is a local icon and his expertise is invaluable. His knowledge extends beyond Cleveland sports, which is very appealing to viewers in all of our regions. Bruce adds to our growing talent list of the most recognized experts on the local sports scene"

I'd say his knowledge also "extends" from showtunes to federal penitentiaries. Either way, we're very excited to hear that another former local sports talker has surfaced.

Bruce was certainly an institution around these parts (although that's probably the first time "Drennan" and "Institution" had been used in the same sentence without the term "Penal" immediately preceding. We kid, we kid, WE LOVE YOU Bruce Drennan!
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In the News

All jokes aside, the Tribe is sending guys down to AAA who have pitched 14 innings w/o giving up a run this spring. Making a pitch

Wedge's daughter takes first steps...and is already a more accomplished base-stealer than three-fourths of the Tribe. And yes, she does have a mustache. Indians notes

Now you can finally see how crappy and overpriced your Cavs seat is...ahead of time! Cavs Seat Viewer

Buckeye fans have been openly questioning Matta's X's and O's all season. Probably why he's outsourced that part of the job to his assistant. Groce most likely next on Matta coaching tree

I like Bruce Drennan - and the points. Prison term humbles broadcaster Bruce Drennan

Excellent rundown by Patrick McManamon on the Browns last three free agency years. Browns keep shelling out upfront for free agents

The Big Ten hasn't done so well in the tourney. (What's worse is that there's actually 11 teams!) With lack of talented players, Big Ten goes on death March

WWE wrestlers on HGH (The Hurricane? Are you serious, he should be filing complaints with the Better Business Bureau). Wrestlers allegedly tied to drug ring Continue Entry»

Monday, March 19, 2007

It's About That Time Again...

Seeing as how we've gotten some potentially awful news from BrownsTown today, I felt it necessary to mention some positive Cleveland sports news to help take all three of your minds who actually read this site (Thanks Nick, Elliott, and Tim) off of Kellen's plight. I'd also like to take this time out to apologize for the lack of writing that has been done on this website lately, however those of you who read the site most likely have talked with me over the past week about everything that has happened in the world of sports, and thus aren't really that upset about not having to re-read our discussions on here anyways. Without further ado, let's talk Cavaliers Basketball:
As most of you already know, it's almost playoff time again, and it seems like only yesterday that Damon Jones was dropping possibly the biggest shot of most of our young lives (And now he spends most of his time assisting Mike Brown, and conversing with the likes of Scot Pollard and David Wesley on the bench). The Cavs are right smack in the middle of a very impressive eight game winning streak, and are poised to battle the thugs from the north for the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference (A lot of people are calling it the Leastern Conference these days, apparently they forgot that last years champion came out of this supposed awful group of teams, and that the joke is very simple and not funny; much like most of our jokes). Larry Hughes is finally playing up to his potential, the bigs are rebounding well and playing like men (for once), and Mike Brown's enthusiasm is contagious.
The Cavs will travel to Charlotte tomorrow, where they should be able to play on ice skates and still come out with a W, and then they will host the league's top team on Wednesday (Rumor has it the folks at "The Q" will be passing out Brad Daugherty's draft day hats to all in attendance, I'd better get over to and get some tickets...wouldn't want to miss out on the worst giveaway since "Bobby Phills' floormats" night). Detroit will host Philadelphia tomorrow night, and then travels to Houston on Thursday, so with a little good fortune we could find ourselves only a half-game out of the top spot with just over ten games to play...who woulda thought this was even a possibility a month ago? It's time to go to Dick's Clothing and sporting goods, pick up your WITNESS shirt, and start realizing that at this current juncture the Cavs just might be the only positive thing that any of us have going these days (Unless of course you have a good job, have no trouble picking up girls, and don't live at that case we have nothing in common and I apologize for including you in that reference). Please keep in mind that if the Cavs lose tomorrow night and get blown out by Dallas, more than likely you'll be reading an ignorant Cavs-bashing article from either myself or one of our other esteemed writers.
photo courtesy of
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