Thursday, February 12, 2009

We've Moved, To Another Site That Nobody Likes!

We're not sure how you got directed here, in fact, where were you when we were churning out perfect blog items a few times a year? Well, we've moved on to Wordpress, which means all the same horrible writing and hacky jokes, only this time, the terrible site design is now slightly below average. So check it out, at and unimproved. Continue Entry»

Introducing: The Alyssa Milano Collection

Are you a Cleveland girl who enjoys munilot drunken dabauchery? Do you have a yearning for a three-four defensive scheme featuring zero playmakers at the LB position? Have you hooked up with Braylon Edwards after a night out at XO? Has Ryan Tucker thrown you through a window in a fit of roid rage? Then Alyssa Milano's new "Touch" Collection featured in the Cleveland Browns gift shop is for you.

Considering the unorthodox way the Browns coach actually hired the GM, it's fitting that when fans pose the inevitable question of "Who's the Boss?", they'll be sporting apparel from the catalogue of a former cast member! The name of the new couture label itself ("Touch") might appear to be at odds with the throwing style of starting quarterback Derek Anderson. It does however properly describe the method by which the Browns defense attempts to tackle.

Sizes available are (S) (M) (L) and (RAC). Continue Entry»


Mo Williams was the 14th choice for the All-Star game, but fourth for the skills competition after Jameer Nelson's injury. Motivation must be derived from this right? Cavs insider.

In the same article, Windhorst writes that LeBron's refusal to do dunk contests has a root: "There are some who believe James was scarred by the Slam Dunk Contest at the 2003 McDonald's All-American Game, which he controversially won. Had he competed and lost over All-Star Weekend to lesser names, it could have had consequences on his reputation." Well I did some research, as it turns out, the judges were Carlos Boozer, DeSagana Diop, Darius Miles, DaJuan Wagner and his colostomy bag, and Michael Vick.

Bill Livingtston says Mike Brown does not need to apologize for his tirade. I will not be writing a similar piece about Bill Livingston's column.

Mel Kiper says the Browns need speed and pass-rushing linebackers.

Hey you over there without a job. I'm guessing you won't be flying to Goodyear to watch an 81-win team play in a ballpark that charges $9.50 for a sandwich in this downtrodden economy. Don't laugh Carl Pavano, this could be you in a year. Continue Entry»

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Cleveland - Tonight the Cavs leaned on the Eastern Conference All Star Team's 14th man. Mo Williams stole the show from LeBron with 44 points and 7 assists, shooting 18-26 from the floor and not using the rim for most of his makes. This comes after it was announced that Mo will be one of the ballers in the All Star Saturday night Skills Competition. Hopefully someone can poison something in one of Jason Kapono's meals so Mo can participate in the 3-point shootout, as tonight Mo was 7-9 from (DEEP IN THE Q BLAJSAKJLAJSALBLAHHAHABLAH)!!!!!!

Z continued to look very bad and finally Big Ben and Sideshow Bob got extra minutes. Boobs Gibson played better and was shockingly good on defense. However that defense was helped by the Suns, minus Steve Nash, turning the ball over in very ugly fashion TWENTY FIVE TIMES. Phoenix was extremely unimpressive and they might just completely blow this once great group up (they really already have been blown up). LeBron for the most part deferred and didn't have to do anything special tonight. Anyways, the Cavs (AND MYSELF) head to Phoenix this weekend at 40-11 with only a couple bad losses and 1 very big win. All in all great 1st half, and don't look now, but thee one, thee only, D-HOOD is creepin on a come up. GO CAVS.

And look for LeBron to get his 24 All Star Field Goal Attempts. I for one don't want to get sold short. Continue Entry»

Cavs vs. Phoenix

Cleveland - Tonight the Cavs try and bounce back from losses to Lamar Odom and Joey Crawford against the struggling Phoenix Suns. Traditionally 2-time joke MVP Steve Nash and LeBron tend to have big numbers against one another, but the Suns tend to win the game. Mike D'antoni is finally gone however and the current Suns team does not resemble the old 60-win teams. Biggg Shaq Daddy Diesel (The best and most productive player on 3 Laker championship teams, and 2nd best player on a Miami title team) has been playing better than expected this season. This Phoenix team might be older than the members over at Lakeview Cemetery but they could still present problem for a struggling Cavs team with no decent 2 guard.

The Cavs of late have gotten away from their style of defending and rebounding as well as falling into the trap of watching and depending on LeBron James. This game could turn into an arena football game if Mike Brown and Terry Porter let their teams disregard one end of the floor. I'll take the Cavs by a count of 112-101. Continue Entry»

LeBron James Denies Steroid Use

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - In the era of performance-enhancing drugs, every athlete's weight fluctuations on a year-to-year basis come with an enormity of speculation. Yet, somehow, NBA players have always been immune to the type of skepticism that accompanies mass gain or loss for other athletes in other sports. With PEDs dominating the headlines since Canseco penned his first ever subject-predicate sequence, it's a little shocking that nobody has every directly asked LeBron James if his roughly 4o-pound weight gain had anything to do with the same doping that was running rampant in every other sport. Was the guy going to have to travel back in time and put on a Texas Rangers jersey for someone to actually ask some questions?

Well after five years in the league, it took an Indianapolis Star writer (former Cleveland PD writer Bob Kravitz) to pop the question of pill popping. Here was the King's answer:
"I could never see myself doing anything to get an edge by using something that's banned,'' James said before Tuesday night's wild 96-95 Indiana Pacers' victory over James' Cleveland Cavaliers at Conseco Fieldhouse. "I would never put myself in that position. There are way too many kids who look up to me, who look up to the guys around us who believe we're heroes.

"I could never do anything like that to change the way a kid thinks about me as an individual. I couldn't do it.''

So James joins Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Miguel Tajada, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez, Ken Caminiti, and Rafael Palmeiro, on a growing list of players who have denied steroid usage. It's obvious that Bron has been immune to these types of allegations because his muscle gain could be dismissed as a growth spurt. He's 24 years old and it looks like he's finally stopped cycling growing.

So, now it's out there. LeBron is on record as saying he would never take steroids in the future. Although if you look closely at the quote, he didn't exactly deny taking them in the past. Which if we've learned anything from Rafael Palmeiro or A-Rod, it's to leave some wiggle room, oh and to make sure not to stack winstrol and dianaball concurrently during the 2nd cycle. Obviously.
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Brett Favre is Retiring...Again

NEW YORK - Well in continuing with the saga that has ruined episodes of sportscenter for the past 3 years, Brett Favre has decided to go ahead and... WHO CARES! The only way I could be less interested in this guy would be if he had penises growing off of his face. This time, he didn't put on the big production, instead having his agent break the news to the Jets. I'd like to personally thank Brett for this, as I won't have to see him crying on television and hear all of the former average NFL players ESPN Analysts give their take on whether he'll actually be back. At this point it is unclear whether or not Favre will be issuing a public apology to Eric Mangini for costing him his job, thus resulting in him coming to Cleveland. Continue Entry»


LeBron after the game talks about the controversial call:
"The last call against me? Not questionable at all. No contact was made." LeBron's memory is starting to rival that of Ronald Reagan's towards the late stages of his life. Bad call, but he made contact.

LeBron denies steroid use. I guess we should take him at his word, right? More on this later.

Shaq says Kobe is the best player in the NBA, again. The girl Kobe raped also thinks Kobe is the best. This is like Obsama Bin Laden saying George Bush is the best president ever.

Does Ohio State have ANY non-white players? Look at photo above! OSU Coach talks about is slow white players offensive line.

David Light's return is now officially doubtful.

Chris Brown's music has been pulled from Kiss FM
. Imagine if Z107.9 pulled all the music associated with criminal behavior. You'd cease to have a station.
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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Message Board Mania is proud to bring to you a brand new feature; a comprehensive look at a controversial game through the eyes of a fanbase's most rational fans: message board posters. The following are actual threads started on a local message board following tonight's controversial loss to the Pacers. Continue Entry»

Where have the Cavs gone?

Indiana - Tonight the Cavs decided to take the 1st 46 minutes of the basketball game off and in the end were bitten by a ref that didn't get enough attention as a kid. LeBron had about the worst 47, 7 and 4 (on 12-21 shooting) game that a player could ever have. He had 7 well deserved, awful turnovers and was lazy on transition and half-court defense until the final few minutes. His night was very Kobe-like, and the Cleveland Cavs will never be able to survive LeBron playing like Kobe.

This Cavs team is slowly turning into the Cavs teams of the last few years as on offense lately it is dependent on LeBron isolation with a few Mo Williams jumpers as well. Mike Brown is most likely using the excuse of 3 shooting guards being injured to give a bad Boobie Gibson a ton of minutes and try and play a small offensive group and bench his better defenders. Big Z has looked slower than usual since his return with the exception of the Clipper game and Andy and Big Ben should have played more tonight. This Cavs team is not playing at the level it was during the 1st month-plus of the season on offense, defense or rebounding.

Maybe most importantly, one of the refs (not Joey Crawford) made a foul call against LeBron with 0.2 seconds which was one of the worst calls in NBA history. He made the call because the play looked extremely similar to an alley-oop 0.2 seconds earlier in which a foul was called against Danny Granger. The call against Granger was a probably a bad call, but Granger did make a lot of contact. The call against LeBron was an abomination and this ref should be suspended as a result. Mike Brown will be paying cheddar for his comments after the game in which for the first time I can remember he murdered a referee with his comments. That being said, Coach potato-head was wrong in that the call did not cost the Cavs this game, it was moreso the extremely lazy effort the team gave for 46 minutes. Phoenix tomorrow - GO CAVS



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So Much for that Chip on Mo Williams' Shoulder

Indiana - It's been a devastating week for the Cavaliers, who've lost Aleksandar Pavlovic, who were beaten a second time by the Lakers, who might not have the lock anymore on a LeBron MVP, and who now don't have all that contrived motivation working for them that comes with sending only one player to the all-star game

Yep, Mo Williams is now a full-fledged all-star now that Chris Bosh is out with an injury (similar to when I became a student council rep after four kids died in my graduating class). We're wondering why Tony Allen wasn't considered. Oh and there goes my joke about Mike Brown getting in all his that he really does have two options. The real question, will Williams be able to get off any shots while LeBron is taking his customary all-star total of 24 shots.

EDIT - Oh and notice that the photographer was not about to wait even another second for Mo to look up at the camera.
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Alex Rodriguez is Dominating SportsCenter

CHOCOLATE FACTORY - Since I haven't been able to see any normal sports coverage on my favorite show due to this mess, I thought I'd put down a few words about it. Apparently Alex Rodriguez took the only known strand of performance enhancing drugs that makes you hit home runs, hit for a high percentage, and look a whole heck of a lot like an Oompa Loompa. Somewhere along the way, ESPN decided that it would be a great idea to hold all of their interviews under some sort of weird orange light, making the people being interviewed look absolutely repulsive. First, Ken Whisenhunt was interviewed during the week of the Super Bowl, and this crazy light made his front teeth resemble those of Captain Jack Sparrow, and now this

Now back to A-Rod, or A-Fraud as these oh so witty columnists have dubbed him. Not that my humble opinion means anything in the least, but this guy has been one of the worst post-season hitters greatest hitters ever to play the game. So he took some performance enhancing drugs, we get it. So did half the damn league, and you know made this miserably boring game a tad bit more exciting for a while there. In fact, since the "Steroid Era" ended, there have been less homeruns, considerably less excitement and fewer domestic violence cases off the field. This is not a recipe for success.

Having watched the interview with Peter Gammons, I do genuinely feel that Rodriguez is sincere in his apology. You can't fake those awkward facial expressions and near breakdowns. Is it fair that this guy has to take the heat while 103 players who tested positive remain anonymous? No, it isn't. When asked about this, A-Rod said he didn't care about anyone else and wouldn't comment, which is absolutely the correct thing to do. Be a man, accept that what you did was wrong, and don't go blaming others like Jose Canseco did. If I could eliminate one person from the universe it would be Canseco, what a lowlife this guy is. Unfortunately he wasn't able to save enough money from his overrated career, so he had to go making things up about all of the players who were better than he was to make a few extra bucks to afford all of that hair gel. A-Rod, salutes you for taking steroids, and admitting to it, and hitting homeruns, and banging Madonna, and being handsome, and not liking Derek Jeter.
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Cavs at Pacers

Tonight The Cavs head to Indy to rebound from Lamar Odom's domination over Boobie Gibson. The C-L-E tends to play well against the Pacers and LeBron and Danny Granger have developed a mini-rivalry. Look for Anderson Varejao to come back strong after playing like a 7th grade CYO girl against the Lakers; He has some of his best games against Indy

The Cavs have not lost 2 straight games yet this season, BUT the Pacers can do something no other NBA squad can accomplish, throw a Whitewash at LeBron James. Skin color has been a hot topic in our country of late but more importantly of course on this website. Unfortunately Jeff Foster and Mike Dunleavy Jr. may be out due to injury, or else we could see the historic Klan lineup of Travis Diener, Josh McRoberts, Troy Murphy, Foster and Dunleavy on an NBA floor. I'm pretty sure these are not foreigners people! The idea of this opposing 5 wets LeBron's appetite moreso than sloppy McDonald's double cheeseburgers and filet o fish sandwiches wets my own.

If Granger gets in foul trouble look for LeBron to go off for 35, 13 and 10 with 4 steals and 3 blocks. The Cavs should rebound and move the ball infinitely better than they did on Sunday in their first home loss. The Eastern Conference All Star head coach Mike Brown also had what was most likely his worst game of the season and should get back to being his awesome matchup/substituting self. I'll take the C-L-E in a game closer than some would think against a team that I could still see making a playoff push by a score of 102-97.
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Cleveland Is Miserable, Even With LeBron

In case their were still any doubters left, Forbes has confirmed what Karl Malone, Gary Miller, and thousands of other college degree-holding northeast Ohioans already know: Cleveland is a miserable city

In a rare Forbes piece that actually references an African American (that would be like Slam Magazine doing a feature on a Jewish American that's not an agent or commissioner), the author explains why Cleveland (#4) is on equal footing with Stockton California and Flint, Michigan:

"Only Denver gets socked with more snow than Cleveland's 52-inch annual average among the 50 largest metros. Clevelanders wait in fear for July 1, 2010, when hoops star LeBron James can switch teams as a free agent."

Great, so Forbes joins ESPN, the entire New York media, and Maverick Carter as those that think LeBron is a goner. By the way, will someone tell all these websites that do lists like "Most educated cities" and "Best towns to meet singles" that you're allowed to list all the cities on one page. Not like is the paragon of website design (although our new relaunch is coming soon), but nobody wants to tediously scroll through each page just to see your not-so-comprehensive list, unless teens on toilets are involved (just make sure to set a system restore point before you go on that scavenger hunt).
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Much like the Spurs win the title every other year, the Indians achieve similar success in odd years - but without the titles or the fans. AL Central prospectus

LeBron wins player of the week award once again. I was going to joke about whether the voters were blind, but it turns out that Gordon Gund has a ballot and he was indeed at Sunday against the Lakers - sitting courtside no less!

Terry Pluto says he wishes he was listening to Hubie Brown instead of JVG on Sunday. Well I wish I was reading Hal Lebovitz instead of Terry Pluto right now. Tate remark offensive.

Buckeyes back in the AP Poll, perhaps an NIT bid is not in the offing after all. Oh and Evan Turner is player of the week...and is so gone.

Lots of people tuned in for JJ Hickson's boxing out tutorial. Kobe/LeBron draws stellar rating.
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Monday, February 9, 2009

Browns Lose Another Assistant: Ken Dorsey Waived

The never-ending third-team quarterback controversy got even hazier today as the Browns waived Ken Dorsey and Bruce Gradkowski. This leaves new coach Eric Mangini and the rest of the Browns brass in a tenuous position of having to actually find a third option to fill in once options one and two contract MRSA and/or go down with the dreaded ACL/MCL tear

Browns fans are sure to have mixed emotions on the Dorsey era. Few players were able to motion in the signals with the flair and passion of Dorsey. He'll also remain one of the few quarterbacks of the modern era to sport the full length t-shirt under the spotless, seldom-used jersey. However, some purists continue to assert that Dorsey, as the sideline signaller, failed in his job as the last line of defense for Romeo and Chud's horrendous playcalling - and that he could have changed calls on the fly. He was also limited in his abilities over the years to run the scout team and to mimic opposing QB's. One source told us that janitors within the complex would be asked to come in and make the 15-yard throws that Dorsey was unable to hammer out.

Calls made to Bernie Kosar Ken Dorsey's agent were not returned.
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The Lakers Own the East

LOS ANGELES - Nobody expected this...not even the writers here at, who are more obsessed with the Lakers than teenage girls Jack Nicholson. A 6-0 Eastern Conference road trip, with wins over the Celtics & Cavaliers headlining this streak. The Lakers are now 4-0 against the Cavs & Lakers combined, and have broken all sorts of streaks along the way. They dismantled a 19-game winning streak of the Celts, another 12 gamer last Thursday, and most recently snapped the Cavs unbeaten streak at "The Q.

They've done this by becoming tougher on the defensive end, and the killer part is that they lost Andrew Bynum possibly for the season, and have shown that they are still dominant without their injury prone 7 footer. Yesterday afternoon, Lamar Odom remembered that he's 6'10" and should be dominating smaller players in the paint instead of running around out of control and slamming layups off the backboard. Kobe was hampered by the flu, and Gasol didn't play well at all, and the Lakers still left Cleveland with a 10 point victory. Of course, it helped that LeBron went 5 for 20 and seemed to forget how to finish at the basket. He also forgot that when you get a mismatch, it's not real effective to take advantage of that by shooting fadeaways to bail out the defense. Oh well, everyone is entitled to a bad game...this was his.

Clearly, LeBron has had a stronger first half of the season than Kobe. However Cleveland fans, yesterday was the most hyped game of the season, and LeBron laid an egg. MVP voters will now look at Kobe Bryant, who will play possibly the rest of the way without his center, and how could they not give him the MVP if the Lakers finish with the best record in basketball? It would be a shame, but this award never does make sense. First Mo Williams was snubbed twice, will LeBron be next?

In related news, Vladimir Radmanovic, best known for nearly hitting the rafters with every shot attempt, came out and said that "Role players do nothing in Phil Jackson's system." Interesting notion, considering Jordan Farmar, Trevor Ariza, Luke Walton & Sasha Vujacic seem to thrive as role players in this system. Maybe what he meant to say was "Bad players do nothing in this system." Radmanovic is another 6'10" guy who can't defend, and sits behind the arc waiting to launch open threes...a real hot commodity in the NBA. Perhaps he'll have more fun playing on a terrible team that will be down by 20 all the time, thus making his role more important.
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Dirty Bird

GEORGIA - reported today that we've got another post-NFL success story on our hands. Former Falcons overrated running back Jamal Anderson, creator of the famed "Dirty Bird" endzone celebration, was arrested with cocaine and marijuana at a night club Saturday night. The best part about this story is that someone heard the sniffing from the bathroom stall, and snitched to an undercover police officer. When the officer went to check it out, he peered over a locked stall to find Anderson and a 20 year old dude sniffing lines of cocaine off the back of a public toilet.
. God bless drugs, I won't even sit on a public toilet seat, and these assholes are sniffing in cocaine off of something that drunk people pee all over. I'm guessing that this may negatively effect his career as an analyst for ESPN...however Michael Irvin did more cocaine than any NFL player(or coke-head) ever has and he's still got a job with 'em so who knows.
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LeBron's homage to Jason Kidd went a little too far last night going 16-12-8 night on 5 of 20 shooting. Not that Kobe was that much better. (we hope to have more on this.. Rossistron? Hello?)

Tigers Woods' wife gives berth to son. We'll monitor this situation closely as he'll attempt to become most successful white golfer in PGA history.

Terrible effort last night for the Lake Erie Monsters. Why do we think it's important? Well apparently WKNR did, as they aired the AHL game over Cavaliers post-game show.

David Lighty's return to the OSU lineup is not looking good. It's looking for like he'll be a part of the next Thad 5, in 2010. OSU insider

Chris Brown has a funny way of doubling one's pleasure... as he allegedly sent Rihanna to rehab. Chris Brown investigated
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Sunday, February 8, 2009


Today the Pau Gasol-led Los Angeles Lakers (40-9) come to The Q to challenge the Cavs (39-9) undefeated home record. In the last meeting the Lakers were able to dominate the Cavs inside the paint with the combination of Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol. LAL shooting guard Bryant (3 time world champion, 0 time convicted rapist) milked a finger injury all game after touching the rock that is LeBron James early in the 1st quarter. Luckily for #24 he was then able to successfully defer to the higher percentage shooters

Today however the tables have been turned as Bynum has been lost for 8-12 weeks and Big Z is back for the C-L-E. The Lakers also just traded VladRad for two awful players in Caucasian Adam Morrison and former Cleveland 1st rounder (and of course BUST) Shannon Brown. Unfortunately LA will likely be without both scrubs as they probably have not turned their heads and coughed while the Laker's team doctor touches them intimately. The Cavs will continue to be without Delonte West (AKA: DHood; Lil Red) and possibly Sasha Pavlovic.

The big question today is if both teams will be making an effort to execute solid basketball on both ends of the floor or if Cavs small forward LeBron James (the best player in basketball for a few years now) will get caught up in a pissing contest with overrated Laker shooting guard Bryant . Many people incorrectly feel that Bryant's ability to make high degree of difficulty field goal attempts make him one of the top two players in thee Association. LeBron tends to try and show people he can make the same ridiculous shots instead of just continuing to beat his defenders to the hoop for And Ones. If LeBron stays out of foul trouble look for him to defend Kobe a lot in the second half and give him the most contested jumpers he can find (even moreso than the awful shots Kobe took against Paul Pierce on Thursday).

This game is going to come down to a combination of which superstar plays better, team rebounding and which team shoots the 3-ball with more accuracy. I'll take the C-L-E by a count of 104-92.Go Cavs, Hopefully the 13 readers of this site notice this is a new opinion as I (Rossitron) am popping my cherry with this, my 1st post.
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Saturday, February 7, 2009

Memorable Cleveland Reversals

After LeBron officially registered his 31st double-double on Wednesday night (21st overall in that category, well behind Chris Kaman and Andrew Bogut), it got us thinking about some other memorable about-faces that have unfolded in recent Cleveland sports memory.

Keeping with the theme, would like to take back our patently racist story about the Buckeyes recruiting too many white guys. I'd like to do so many things differently than I originally had with that piece. Like add some insensitive Asian humor, and maybe even go after the Jews. Hindsight is after all, 20/20. That is unless you have alzheimers

So here's just a few of Cleveland-related reversals, in honor of LeBron's double-double performance.

BOTTLEGATE - The year was 2001 and Browns fans will forever remember the unforeseen tragedy that culminated with fans lobbing guided missiles in the shape of plastic beer bottles towards the field at Cleveland Browns Stadium. All because the referees overturned a Quincy Morgan catch after a review that arguably should have never been allowed, because a successive play had been run. The hilarious scene that ensued drew the following comments from team President Carmen Policy:

"Those are plastic bottles and I don't think they carry much of a wallop..I don't think this is an example of life and limb being at risk. No one got hurt."

I know what you're thinking: Refs originally thought Quincy Morgan had actually made a key catch in an NFL sanctioned football contest?

RICKY DAVIS' ALMOST TRIPLE DOUBLE - In March of 2003, the Cavs were already in full-scale sabotage mode (Why Jim Paxson didn't get GM of the year for this retroactively, we'll never know). They were playing the Utah Jazz on a night Milt Palacio went off for 20 points and Jumaine Jones exploded for 23. But the headline of the night was "Get Buckets" Davis attempting to get a fraudulent rebound by missing a shot on the wrong basket to complete a triple double. Apparently he didn't realize at the time that you actually miss shots unintentionally, like the King, to get credit for an offensive board. Interesting tidbit, DeShawn Stevenson was having none of it and fouled him. Perhaps that's where his on-going feud with the Cavaliers started.

PHIL SAVAGE FIRED..THEN UNFIRED - In December of 2005, an internal conflict between John Collins and Phil Savage led to reports that circulated on the Browns flagship WTAM 1100 that Savage had been fired after just one year as GM. (They were apparently arguing over which SWAC game Phil would be permitted to scout). Romeo Crennel had allegedly backed Savage in this clash of non-football minds, eventually leading to Collins' forced resignation. It marked the first and last time one of Romeo's schemes actually worked.

Are we missing any others?
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Friday, February 6, 2009

The Celtics HATE Playing Good Teams

BOSTON - I know, I know, the Celtics just aren't the same team without Brian Scalabrine. That goes without saying. I haven't seen Eddie House's kid running around the sidelines lately either. But losing at home to the Lakers, the same team they dismantled in the Finals last year is simply inexcusable. They even managed to lose a nail biter where Kobe Bryant looked more like Coby Karl in overtime. Just a few observations that may make it difficult for this team of primadonnas to repeat:

1.Doc Rivers is, and always has been, a terrible coach. I love seeing him try to motivate his players during timeouts on ESPN, and watching them staring around the arena thinking to themselves "Is he done yet?" Please note: It has been said that a girl or two from my past has thought that very same thing while in bed with me...well actually "Is he done already?" Back to the Celtics...

2.Kevin Garnett talks more shit than any player in the NBA, and simply can't back it up. It's not intimidating to watch you pound your Ethiopian chest and talk to yourself, and it is also not intimidating in the least to watch you float around the key and shoot jumpers or oversell easy put back dunks. Christ, you're 7 feet tall, go to the basket.

3. Every year at the beginning of the year we hear that Paul Pierce has lost weight, and is in the best shape of his life. Unfortunately, his sloppy, unsculpted figure doesn't show it, and neither do his pudgy movements. I'll let him shoot step-back contested jumpers all day long, he couldn't possibly have another miraculous playoff run like he did last year. The stars don't align too often for fat people who flash gang signs (see Christopher Wallace).

4. Kendrick Perkins is bad, Leon Powe is worse, Glen Davis should be in the d-league.

5. It is easily agreeable that there are 3 "elite" teams in the NBA...the Celtics, the Cavaliers & the Lakers. The old men in green, unfortunately, are 1-3 this year against the other two teams. This is a team that thrives on confidence, and if they don't head into the playoffs with plenty of it, look for them to bow out early and the reign of the "Big 3" to come to an abrupt end.
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The PD Opines that this Cavs team is probably the best of all time. Revisionist history at work here. Remember 2000-01, Remember the Clarence Weatherspooon/Chris Gatling/Matt Harpring/Jim Jackson/Robert Traylor/Andre Miller team that started 15-7?

Dan Gilbert calls Mo Williams omission from the all-star game a "stupidiculous, idillogical and preposterageous." He must be learning his vocabulary from his players. All-Star snub.

Terry Pluto did respond our inquiries about LeBron's bogus triple double! "

"Q: Don't you think the triple double was bogus? Wasn't that ninth rebound supposed to go to Ben Wallace?

A: Please, the game was in New York, at Madison Square Garden. The stats guys are from New York. It was the ninth rebound, not the 10th needed for the triple double. Why are we even talking about this?"

So if Bobby Sura's bogus triple double was at the MSG, you wouldn't have had a problem with it like you did back in 2004? You've just been powned Mr. Pluto.

Tressel wants earlier signing today - do white guys sign earlier? (see picture above).

OSU's game with USC is under the lights next season. I was going to make a joke about a loss, but I think we take it.

Flattering piece about the OU Bobcats new coach. You know what they left out? THEIR 11-10 RECORD!! New coach brings intensity to Athens.
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Thursday, February 5, 2009

There's Nothing Wrong with a Double-Double

The double-double machine has done it again. For the 31st time this season, the MVP front-runner posted double digit outputs in two key categories. Along with is incredible 52-point effort last night, James was handing out the dimes as well, adding 11 assists. It would have been interesting had James managed to grab 10 rebounds and secured his 21st triple -double.

But contrary to the original reports, he did not, because he apparently skipped coveted rebound No. 9, according to the NBA Fanhouse Blog. Check video as well
"Wallace clearly got that rebound: he had it controlled with one hand, and when David Lee got a little too close, he flipped it to LeBron. You can even hear Mike Breen say "Wallace -- the rebound," before Clyde Frazier looks at his stat monitor and sees that the scorekeeper gave it to James"

There is a precedent for taking away triple-doubles retroactively by league statisticians. In 2004, Bobby Sura intentionally missed a shot to collect a 10th rebound (as if that failed attempt needed premeditation). The NBA removed it from the books the following day.

The Plain Dealer's own Terry Pluto blasted Sura for the move and credited the NBA for doing what was right. Will he speak up this time around with similar fervor. Or will he just write another sanctimonious defense of prayer and organized religion. What do you think? We will be penning a letter to Pluto to find out where he stands on this.
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Is Ohio State Recruiting Too Many White Athletes Guys?

UPPER CLASS SUBURBS, OH - Many of you probably think that the excellent columnist Jason Whitlock has the monopoly on playing the race card. If that's the case, then has the monopoly on playing the race card poorly. But we'll give it a try.

For the second year in a row, Jim Tressel and staff have assembled a top five recruiting class - 1st overall by Scout, 3rd by Rivals, 9th in ESPN's laughable list (*edit - They must have dropped us lower b/c they saw that our roster looked like a booking after a Duke Lacrosse Frat party!) Thanks for the heads up,, and 2nd by Tom Lemming (he does know we aren't Notre Dame right?). Given all of that, you have to be excited about landing two straight top notch classes, especially after the dud in 2007

But Hudson, we might have a problem. Should Buckeye fans be worried that the recruiting class photo above looks more like a collage out of West Beverly's yearbook (Ian Ziering bottom right) than a bad ass picture you might see at LSU? Does the name Reid Fragel sound one bit like a player who's going to take charge in the open field - or does it sound more like someone who should be working in a field? I was reassured when saw the name Adam Bellamy that maybe things would be OK, until I realized he too was as pasty as can be. Some of the guys look like they could have auditioned for the part as the Opus Dei Monk in the Da Vinci Code.

Let's take a look a the Caucasian breakdown on some of the other top classes, followed by their percentage of pallidity.

LSU - 5 out of 24: 20.8%
USC - 3 out of 19 (one is a kicker...we'd be more worried if he wasn't white): 15.7%
Bama - 4 out of 27: 14.8%
Texas - 6 out of 20: 30%
Ohio State - 9 out of 25: 36% although not as bad as 2008: 1o out of 20: 50%

In the two national championship losses, it became clear to the rest of the nation that Ohio State could match up with any other team's top five or six guys. But after those players, the Buckeyes lacked the athleticism in the two-deep that other teams boast. So while the last two classes have been well-balanced for Tressel and will likely have the Bucks graduating plenty more to the pros, I'm not sure the Buckeyes are getting any more athletic overall anytime soon.
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Peyton Manning Loves the Pro Bowl

KAPOLEI, HAWAII - According to our friends over at Yahoo, Peyton Manning doesn't treat the Pro Bowl as simply a vacation. Rather, he uses it as a chance to gather information from opposing teams' players and coaches, and also tries to get on the good sides of some of his opponents. Manning said:

"I bought Mario Williams breakfast. See that’s the other thing. I work schemes with the coaches and maybe any player who might be leaving that team, maybe that player will sing a little bit. I work relationships, too, with defensive linemen

. I bought Mario Williams breakfast, so maybe he’ll remember that twice a year. Maybe when he gets that free shot, you know, he won’t drive me into the ground. Like I said, it’s a fun week, but there is work to be done."

Just when I thought I couldn't like this guy anymore, he goes and does something like this. If his play on the field & commercials weren't enough, this interview solidified his place in the "BSmith Man-Crush Hall of Fame (more on this next week)." The only thing I don't like about Manning is that when you're playing against the computer in Madden, and he's the quarterback, he has to audible 4 times on every play, causing me to get pissed off and eventually not play the game. In related news, reports out of Berea claim that while at the Pro Bowl last year, Derek Anderson spent the entire week playing practical jokes on all of the AFC defenses, with an emphasis on Terrell Suggs and the Ravens.

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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

LeBron Vs Kobe, A Comparative Study of MSG Performances

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - Outside of the Iron Sheik and Gerry McNamara, is there anyone who enjoys a trip to MSG more than Kobe or LeBron? The two most talented players the league has seen since MJ have been able to name their stat lines at the hallowed Garden grounds.

Interesting that Knicks coach Mike 'antoni (not a misprint, you figure it out) actually knows both pretty well from their time in Beijing during the Summer Olympics - yet still decided one-on-one was the optimal way to neutralize the stars
In a way, their stat lines in this game properly encapsulated the essence of everything we know about these players, and everything that makes them great (that sounds like an awful Mike and Mike promo). LeBron filled up the stat sheet as usual - as did the guy he defended most the night. While Kobe once again put up huge scoring numbers, and not much else. Both led their teams to a victory, albeit over a a sub-.500 team.

ESPN will no doubt do an Outside the Lines panel discussion with Skip Bayless, Spike Lee, Chris Broussard, John Hollinger and Gloria James' probation officer, comparing and contrasting these performances. We might as well add to the fruitless debate.

Here's what LeBron did better: Had 11 assists and 10 rebounds (the most points with a triple double since 1976). Accounted for 78 points. Lied in the press conference about not knowing how many rebounds he had before his triple double-clinching rebound).

Here's what Kobe did better: Less shots but 9 more points and no miss free throws in 7 less minutes, with a +19 in +/- (LeBron had a +7) . Lied in the press conference about not knowing the MSG scoring record before his record-clinching points.

While some (like Jeff Van Gundy) are touting that LeBron should be getting some defensive player of the year votes (and he's improved exponentially in that area), James was in charge of guarding Al Harrington most the night and down the stretch, Harrington tied his season high with 39 points. Kobe, on the other hand, defended Chris Duhon and was more of a rover for the majority of his game with the Knicks. LeBron was defended by David Lee most the night, while Kobe was checked by Wilson Chandler (never trust a guy who uses the first name of two very popular mid-90's sit-com characters to defend the best players in the game). Very tough to compare apples and oranges, even if we're talking about a game in the Big Apple. So we'll leave it up to you to decide, who ultimately had the better game.

In the end, basketball fans win out, as they get to see Kobe and LeBron square off this Sunday at the Q, as the Lakers try to become the first team give to give the Cavs a home loss. Baseball fans get nothing out of this deal.
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Lebron James Scores 52

NEW YORK - LeBron James went into the Garden this evening and absolutely dominated the helpless Knicks. He didn't reach 61, but clearly put together a better overall performance than Kobe did just two nights ago. Also, he put together a quadruple double...but not the kind we're used to seeing. This particular quadruple double consisted of 52 points, 11 assists, 10 rebounds, and 12 faked injuries. Quite an impressive stat-line for the football player from Akron. He put up 33 shots, which is much higher than we've come to expect, but you can't argue with it when you convert on 17 of them. The Knicks may be the worst defensive team I've ever seen, and I'm fairly certain that Rodney Rodgers could drive to the basket on Tim Thomas. Regardless, another big road win for the up they'll meet Kobe and the Lakers on Sunday. Stay tuned to for a live blog of Sunday's game. Continue Entry»

So Much for the Report About Marlon Brown to Ohio State

MEMPHIS, TN - According to a report out of Knoxville, the Buckeyes may have just landed the second best wide receiver in the nation

****EDIT AT 3:55 - Yep, HE CHOSE GEORGIA. That makes three kids in two years that have burned OSU at the 11th hour. (Josh Jenkins, Tajh Boyd and Marlon Brown).

Here's the innacurate report from earlier today:

WNML radio in Knoxville says that according to a source, the 6-foot-5 receiver Marlon Brown from Harding Academy in Memphis will sign with Ohio State this afternoon over Tennessee, Georgia and Ole Miss.

Marlon Brown told reporters yesterday that he'd have to sleep on his decision. When asked about each of the prospective teams in the mix:

On Ole Miss, he simply stated, "(Rebels quarterback) Jevan Snead."
On Tennessee: "It's Tennessee. It's Tennessee football."
On Georgia: "Coach (Mark) Richt."
On Ohio State: "Coach Jim Bollman (Jim) Tressel."

The Bucks' impressive recruiting class was ranked No. 1 by both Scout and Rivals heading into the day. Brown will formally make his decision at a 3:45 press conference. If you can't log onto Bucknuts at 3:46, that probably means this report was inaccurate.

Buckeyes Recruiting Tracker via Bucknuts. (Let's play the scouting-by-photo game. I can tell you five guys that will never see the field for OSU based solely on their recruiting photo. Try to guess which ones!)
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Climactic Night for LeBron & Kobe...and Me

NEW YORK, NY - LeBron is heading to the Big Apple this evening (no no, not for good yet), just two nights after Kobe dropped 61 on the Knicks in a masterful performance where he needed only 37 minutes and shot 61% from the floor. This wasn't one of his typical outbursts, where critics sit back and say he was selfish and didn't get his teammates involved. Gasol went for 31, and Kobe was simply unstoppable. When the best player in the game has it going
, he shouldn't be giving up the ball... bottom line. Also, instead of promoting a new limited edition shoe in the game, he just went ahead and dominated. He even had the Knicks fans chanting MVP...but LeBron did that last year too. I suppose this is the result of having terrible teams year in and year out, maybe next year they'll be chanting for Stephon Marbury, when he's a member of another squad of course.

LeBron played incredibly well last night against the Raptors, including a big time rejection of Chris Bosh that had even coach Mike Brown baffled. Tonight, LeBron travels to Madison Square Garden, and in response to a question about whether or not he would beat Kobe's mark he said “I just go out and play my game. “I’m not a video game where you can just expect me to go out there and score 60 or 70.” If we're being grammatically correct, it isn't the video game that scores the points, and we're clearly aware that you're not a video game, you're a person. Thus, this reply makes no sense, and should have been reworded to state "This isn't a video game, you can't expect me to just go out there and score 60 or 70 points." But let's not talk symantics...of course LeBron wants to match Kobe, or hopefully outdo him. It's called competition, and right now, there's still a heated debate over who's the best player on the planet. We won't argue this either way...of course we have in the past, a few times. In retrospect, we seem to find a way to argue that Kobe's the best in 75-80 percent of all of our posts...weird!
Also on tap for tonight, Kobe Bryant takes his hobbled Lakers squad into Toronto, the site that hosted the greatest scoring performance since Wilt Chamberlain when Bryant popped in 81 on them in January of '06. Kobe is the only player in the game today who you can watch the first 3 minutes of a game, watch him hit a few jumpers, and then feel compelled to call your friends because you think this might be the night that he goes for 100+. He just has that look in his eye, that hunger, that fire that makes you want to see him succeed. Tonight could be one of those nights, the Raptors have nobody who can come close to stopping him, and they're on the second night of a back-to-back...and they're terrible, and play in Canada, and have ugly uniforms, you get the point.

So who will score more points tonight? More importantly, who's team will come out with a victory? I can't wait, and thanks to our friends over at, I can watch the Lakers game on the computer and the Cavs on the tv. Also, the Cavs will play the Lakers on national television this Sunday for the last time this regular season, and there's no doubt that it will be up to these two men to carry their teams into the NBA Finals matchup that everyone is hoping for. It's a simple debate really....will you be betting on Bron's red shoes, or the black mamba? Here at, we always bet on black.
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Browns Fans are Gluttons for Punishment

CLEVELAND - In the two-week lead-up to the Super Bowl, some fans let it be known on local sportstalk radio that they were not going to watch the Steelers win their sixth Super Bowl Title. Well the numbers are in, and not only can we consider the majority of these middle-aged talk show callers "losers" but also "liars."

In fact, a higher percentage of Cleveland viewers tuned in to watch Kurt Warner trip over his offensive lineman than Cardinals fans did in Phoenix. True story!

53.6/79: Pittsburgh
52.6/72: Norfolk
50.6/71: Jacksonville
50.4/68: Buffalo
49.3/67: Richmond
49.2/70: Tampa
48.1/68: Ft. Myers
47.7/69: Cleveland
47.5/80: Phoenix
47.4/65: Indianapolis
We find it pretty amazing that Pittsburgh earned a 79 share. Not because we're blown away by a 79, but because we're flabbergasted that 21 percent of people weren't watching the Super Bowl. Continue Entry»


Cavs have to hold off Raptors late. Afterwards James says, "I'm getting better every year and getting better every day and not taking a day off." The Orlando Magic laugh at this notion. James Dazzles in win. Winhorst also again touts LeBron's defense. We get it Brian, you actually want LeBron to earn more than one vote for the all-defensive team. We get it

Had this guy been hired at CSU in 96 (like had been rumored), the program would have been in much better shape. Moran keeps Blue Streaks Sizzling

So now the UFC has a "Dentist," an "Athlete," a "Barbarian," and now a Lobbyist. No really. UFC doesn't want a federal submission hold.

I've never understood why pitchers report to spring training first. Considering durability issues, they should be the last. No drop off for Cliff Lee

It's signing day. Do you know where your oral commitments are? Buckeyes are No. 1 if both Scout and Rivals enterting today.
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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Where Are They Now: David Wesley

WACO, TX - Brought in as a designated shooter to complement the King, David Wesley became just another outside shooter and miss-er; part of a seemingly neverending list of guys who actually got worse when paired with LeBron (see Lucious Harris, J.R. Bremer and Larry Hughes). He shot 29 percent in his one year in Cleveland.

We haven't seen the guy who famously showed NBA fans where the bottom of the backboard was with an uncontested layup,
and were beginning to worry that he violated his parole (you know, for that whole reckless driving thing). As it turns out, he's an assistant coach with the Baylor basketball team.

So by proxy, does that make him a part of the Dave Bliss coaching tree? We always hear about where the successful coaches' assistants turn up. But what about the assistants of Larry Eustachy or Jan van Breda Kolff? I'd love to know if these guys are in jail, or just celling cell phones in the mall.

Past editions
Where are they now: Marty Cordova
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"The Indians not only believe, but are banking on, that Wood can make a Dennis Eckersley-like transformation from the rotation to the pen." We're thinking he'll be more like Dave Dravecky. Team betting on Wood.

"I've decided to seek professional treatment." I guess Boone is heading to pros for something, even if it may not be football Alex Boone issues a statement.

LeBron's player
of the month award is overshadowed by the player of our generation. James wins POM.

They should call it an NIT bracket buster. CSU facing 9-12 Wichita State.

After realizing that OSU is operating in the red and that the Shot has five thousand empty seats per game, Buckeye basketball is now selling tickets for $5. I'm more concerned about how they're going to fill the three empty seats on the bench next year.
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Alex Boone Doing Wonders for His Draft Stock

ALISO VIEJO, CA - Formerly the most coveted offensive lineman recruit in the nation, Alex Boone was arrested once again in an embarrassing alcohol-related incident. The Buckeyes senior offensive lineman apparently thought he was at the draft combine as he was apparently "jumping on car hoods, yanking on tow truck cable and trying to break a window." It's the biggest workout he's had in years.

Much like like an SEC defensive end
, police ran right around the 6-foot-8, 312-pounder as they surrounded him and eventually subdued him with a taser. From five-stars to five volts, things have gone horribly bad for Boone. He was arrested on suspicion of DUI after his freshman year at OSU. At least he learned from his lesson after the first arrest; this time no car was involved. Although authorities say "His blood-alcohol level was at least three times the legal amount."

Somehow Boone was able to escape at one point but was later found hiding under Steve Rehring a patio. One could argue this is the first time Boone has demonstrated that he might actually belong in the NFL.
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Monday, February 2, 2009

Referee Ramblings...

Having witnessed another big moment in sports riddled with controversy, I can't help but rant a little bit about the impact that referees have on sports today. First, let me say that the Steelers were the better team, there's no doubting that, and probably deserved to win that Super Bowl. However, admitting in full that my opinion may be biased due to my hatred for the Steelers, there were just too many things left up to the officials that seemed "swayed" in some way

How did James Harrison not get thrown out of the game for his near felony against Ben Fransisco? How on earth can you call roughing the holder? How is there no flag for excessive celebration on Santonio Holmes when "Using the ball as a prop" is an automatic 15 yard penalty? How can you call roughing the passer on Karlos Dansby on a play where he hit Roethlisberger legally right after he released the ball? How can you not review the last play of the game? Those are way too many legitimate questions to be asking after a game of this magnitude.

I get it, it's nearly impossible to correctly referee NFL & NBA games, but first we have an NBA ref get caught cheating, and now we've had countless controversial mistakes made by referees this season in the NFL. It wasn't bad enough that the Heat won a title based solely on poor officiating (And a Mavericks team that seemed like they were paid to lose), but now we've got two Steelers titles that supposedly have asterisks by them. It's getting to the point where in another year or two we may have every single play reviewed from a booth upstairs, and we'll be watching 6 hour long games, with even more terrible commercials. It's unfair to the fans to have games decided by the inadequacies of 65-75 year old men.

With all of that nonsense being stated, I'm not blaming this game on the referees. If Kurt Warner doesn't throw that pick in the end zone Arizona wins, end of story. Well, actually if you take away the ridiculous penalties, Arizona wins the game as well, so maybe I am blaming it on them. The Steelers are the champions of their second Penalty Bowl...congratulations!
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Tony Grossi says Pittsburgh owes their Super Bowl to Ohio. How to Spell Championship O-H-I-O.

Cavs make big run with King on the bench. Williams and Gibson push Cavs

Windhorst calls Cavs win a "quality road victory" - nothing like somehow managing to fend off a team that's 13-11 at the Palace. Sorry if we're not impressed.

Norm Chad is pretty funny. "2:32: Returning from a Cheetos break, I hear Costas literally say, "Meanwhile, back on Earth." I assume I missed a Kurt Warner feature."

and.. 9:13: I didn't realize the Steelers not only travel with their own fans, they also bring their own officials.
Apparently even the Buckeyes aren't recession-proof. OSU budget shortfall.

I guss we finally know how the Sopranos ends. Silvio joins some lame band with another 60-year-old over-the-hill rocker and does karaoke while sporting an embarrassing bandana. And even that's a better ending then what we were treated to in the series.

If may have just looked like porn when Santonio Holmes got all excited after the catch. Porn interrupts Super Bowl.
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Bruce Arians Goes From Browns Rags to Riches

TAMPA BAY - The question of whether or not it could get any worse for Cleveland Browns fans got a definitive answer yesterday, when disgraced offensive coordinator Bruce Arians and the hated Steelers secured yet another Super Bowl victory. The one saving grace might have been that Tim Tebow's name wasn't mentioned once during the entire broadcast. Here are some of's carefully constructed postgame notes.

Props to Santonio Holmes for getting all three of his feet down in the endzone. Don't act like you know what I'm talking about, considering the photo I posted earlier this week. The guy is a flat-out play maker, and when the cameras are on, nobody let's it all hang out like Holmes. OK I promise I'm done.

Nice of Kurt Warner to not thank Jesus after the tough loss. Is there something we should know about Kurt? Like the fact that the women you're married to now bears little resemblance to women you were married to nine years ago. Perhaps he illegally downloaded a torrent of Religulous and is no longer a believer.

NBC's coverage was much better than Fox's version of the college football national title game. A few problems though. First, can we please design a graphic for a first down that's ANY color other than YELLOW? You know, the same color that even ancient Mesopotamians would identify with a penalty flag. Every time the Cards would pick up a first down, I would just assume it was penalty (OK, bad example).

Also, stop shifting camera angles when the teams get inside the five yard line. We as football fans have been conditioned over the years to view the game from a certain perspective. You don't see them adjusting to the sideline view for a field goal, so why are they changing lens positioning on us in the biggest game of the year in key situations? Although you know who's vantage point didn't change the whole game? Matt Leinart's.

And please stop telling us in Super Bowl games about "Super Bowl records." There's only been 43 of these games played. There's a new record set in just about every regular season game...and there's been more than 10,000 of them over the years. So yeah, when Ralph Brown makes a Super Bowl tackle, it's no surprise when the Elias Sports Bureau notifies us that he's the worst player in Super Bowl history to make a tackle.

And on that last play, no, I don't think the Steelers' win is tainted or anything like that. However, the play absolutely has to be reviewed. Why in the world can't Arizona use their last challenge, regardless of when the play occurs in the game? Given James Harrison's celebration penalty, the Cards would have had the ball around the 30 yard line. Not to mention they have the best jump ball receiver in football outside of Terrelle Pryor. It would have been very interesting to see one last chance at a Kurt Warner stumble and subsequent trip over his offensive lineman's feet hail mary play.
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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Corky Made a Bad Decision...

DOWNSSYNDROMEVILLE, USA - According to, Michael Phelps admitted that the pictures of him pretending to be 17 years old again and ripping off of the bong were in fact real. Oh, he's sorry for his actions by the way. This isn't the first time this asshat has embarassed himself and his family, as he was arrested for drunk driving when he was 19 years old

The fact of the matter is this: This guy is a complete tool, and has been his entire life. He looks mildly retarded, and probably got made fun of a lot growing up. Now he's in the media spotlight, and is doing things that he couldn't possibly have done when he was supposed to be "experimenting." When the cooler kids were out partying, drinking and driving and getting high, he was probably masturbating in the pool.

Now he's this big olympic champion, as if anyone gives a shit about the olympics or swimming, and all the temptations in the world are there for this loser. As long as I don't see any headlines about him sleeping with hot famous chicks, I don't care what happens to this big toothed freak.
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Does Owe Patrick McManamon an Apology?

"I apologize for writing it was painted over. I was wrong. That's what I was told, and it came from several people who reasonably assumed that's what happened. That's no excuse for me; I was wrong." - Patrick McManamon

BEREA, OH - A week ago today, ABJ columnist Pat McManamon ignited a public firestorm when he wrote that the, "The Browns are painting walls and painting over murals of their hall of famers." (Brian Windhorst would never make such a mistake... the Cavs have no such wall, or even enough players to necessitate such a commemorative structure)

That story about the now famous mural was first modified by OBR on Wednesday. They wrote, "sources inside Berea tell us the mural is not actually getting painted over as it is getting moved." then proceeded to write a hilarious piece about the mix-up. Going even so far as to say that McManamon owed the Browns organization an apology for jumping the gun and writing critically about the Browns layoffs - something happening all around the NFL and from what I'm told, even in other professions.

Since then, Patrick McManamon has been making more media rounds than Ron Blagojevich. He first appeared on a message board issuing a quasi-mea culpa (yet failed to choose an avatar). He then made his way over to the piece we authored, the one titled "Does Patrick McManamon owe the Browns an apology?"

I gotta admit, he's a stand-up guy:

"I apologize for writing it was painted over. I was wrong. That's what I was told, and it came from several people who reasonably assumed that's what happened. That's no excuse for me; I was wrong."

After closely analyzing all that's been written about the Berea Wall, it's pretty clear the Browns are reversing course based on the public and media reaction. While we still think Pat's giving the new management as much of a chance as Rush is giving the new Obama administration, it's a little alarming the way we've heard the media speak about Mangini and friends. Of course the fact remains, nobody will care about any of this if this team is in contention at any point.

But thanks to Pat McManamon for not running and hiding. Very cool for him to take to all the various internet stops to clear things up (unless his next appearance is on my Adultfriendfinder page, then we've got problems).
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Friday, January 30, 2009

Mike Bianchi Does His Best Impression

ORLANDO, FL - As if last night's drubbing at the hands of the Magic wasn't bad enough, now their hometown columnist is doing the obligatory LeBron-is-gone column. He writes from experience, as he attempted to document

"Remember when Shaq bolted Orlando for Tinseltown because he wanted to make movies and hobnob with the stars in Hollywood? Just another reason for Clevelanders to worry about LeBron signing with the Knicks... It's bad enough the Browns stink, the Indians haven't won a World Series in 60 years and Cleveland is now being battered with near-record snowfall. Now fans have to dread the day they wake up and read the headline: "LeBron Is Gone!"

Alright buddy, you know damn well that Skip Bayless, CursedCleveland, Soulja Boy, DeShawn Stevenson and sometimes Bud Shaw have the monopoly on LeBron bashing and/or ruminating about his eventual departure. But Bianchi missed out on some key similarites between Shaq and the King.

Both are terrible free throw shooters.

Both are so physically dominant that the NBA has no idea how to officiate them

Both defer to Kobe in late game situations when the NBA Title or olympic gold medal is on the line.

But I digress. Bianchi also brought up how LeBron failed to sign the full extension allotted to him. The consensus around the league was that it was a business-savvy decision to capitalize on a new collective bargaining agreement and to make more money down the road, and that all other stars would follow suit (which Dwyane Wade did) . However, Dwight Howard opted to sign the full five year extension, the same one available to LeBron. He said right there and then that he wanted to retire an Orlando Magic, something LeBron has never said (about Orlando or Cleveland).

I don't spend too much time worrying about whether or not LeBron will stay or go (despite the half hour it took me to write this entry). But the fact remains, when all is said and done, LeBron's #23 will be the eighth jersey added to the rafters at the Q (Big Z will be the 7th, and can you believe a team that's only been to the finals once in its history has more retired numbers than Ohio State football?).
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Santonio Holmes Reveals Even More

TAMPA BAY, FLA - It's been a pretty tame Super Bowl week, with the exception of Steelers WR Santonio Holmes not-so-shocking admission that he sold drugs when he was in school:

"My friends were always doing it, and I felt comfortable doing it at the time," Holmes said. "As the years (passed), I just felt like that wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to play football. I don't want to end up like a lot of my friends: in jail, standing on the corner, not going to school."

The story goes on to say that Holmes avoided detection by going to school then heading out to sell. That's for all you Tressel haters that say his kids don't go to class! We're wondering how Holmes was able to differentiate between a corner route and a street corner

And because we've been labeled as Buckeye apologists on this site, here's some negativity: When I think Santonio Holmes and his Ohio State career, it still amazes me that a team with Holmes, Ginn, Pittman and Troy Smith running the show managed a whopping 10 points in Happy Valley and couldn't break into the top 20 offenses in college football that year. I still argue that talent wise, it was Tressel's best team and it should have won a title. Nice job Ryan Hamby and Jim Bollman.
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Cavs really demonstrated their outrage last night over Wiliams all-star snub, by getting outplayed in every facet of the game. Jameer Nelson went 4-6 from three. Cavs livid.

LeCharles Bentley greets each camper with 10 second highlight reel of his Browns career. Bentley opens up lineman academy.

If Bruce Arians could get another shot, why not Mo Carthon? Former coordinator wants another shot.

Some more recruits OSU probably won't be getting as we get closer to NLOID. Bucks seek two more prospects.

"I'm not knocking teams that take lots of transfers," he said. "It has worked very well for Kent State, and I still can't believe all the success they've had over the years. But I wanted to try it this way." Love backhanded compliments from Damrot. Zips succeed without JUCO transfers.

Not sure if this documentary on OSU fandom is a drama, a comedy, or a horror film. Across the field.
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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Cavs drop a heartbreaker...

ORLANDO, FL - The Cavs came out strong tonight, but simply couldn't keep up the intensity in the second half to hold off the Magic. It didn't help matters that these assholes couldn't miss, and shot 31 three pointers, cashing in on 11 of them. Wally Sczerbiak played a spirited first half, and when's the last time you remember seeing 4 consecutive possessions with a "Wally Iso" play called?...had to be some time in middle school. Lebron played a terrible game, going 10 of 27 from the floor, but this is mostly in part to my pregame article jinxing him in this contest.

Tiger Woods was in attendance, and was sporting the first Nike shirt ever made. He must have been happy with the way his hometown squad played, and is probably also happy to be going home to one of the hottest girls on the planet right now. Mike Brown was t'd up in the 3rd quarter after LeBron got fouled for the 50th time and didn't get the call, and it was all downhill from there. The Magic went on a 12-0 run at the end of the 3rd quarter and into the 4th, and the Cavs never recovered. Tarence Kinsey, who's packing a pair of bird legs that rival only those of Daffy Duck, was injured late in the game after valiantly tripping over himself, which adds to the depth problems that the Cavs have been dealing with of late.

It should be nice to get Big Z back tomorrow night against the helpless Clippers, who recently got Baron Davis and Marcus Camby back from injuries. Like I said earlier, this was a tough game for the Cavs, and things will be different next time they play with their full squad. On a positive note, I picked the Magic in ESPN's Streak for the Cash tonight, and don't look now but somebody's got a 3 game streak going!
Continue Entry» Disses B.J. Mullens

COLUMBUS, OH - After just 19 games into his college career, it appears the only decision OSU center B.J. Mullens will be making this summer is whether or not to sign a lease at Olentangy Commons or to stay on-campus. That after the gold standard of NBA mock draft sites decided that the seven-footer has slipped to third in their latest 2010. As if drawing the NBA comparison to Chris Kaman wasn't bad enough, the former No. 1 projected pick in 2009 has now been bounced out of the entire draft completely.

Most expected the No. 1 ranked high school player in the country (by Rivals) to come in and make an immediate impact. Instead, he's averaging 4.5 rebounds per game, while 6'7'' Evan Turner is grabbing 7 a game. Reserve guard and blogger Mark Titus is averaging just just four less a game, but is getting thousands of more hits than Cursedcleveland and WaitingForNextYear combined.

Let's go back and take a look at what had to say about Mullens back in August of 2007, with my brief commentary in bold.

"Bigman with a smooth offensive repertoire in pre-game warmups, Enjoys contact and fights for boards fighting and getting are two remotely different things… Athletic, good explosiveness in pre-game warmups... Has a good feel for the game while he's watching from the bench... Very good post skills with the ability to face the basket and hit shots out to the perimeter which is why he's averaging 9 ppg on an NIT-bound team... Creates a big target inside Solid rebounder and, understands how to box out just like Rod Blogojevich knows hot to govern… Uses the glass well a là Tim Duncan.. and has the skin complexion of Gregg Popovich"

Considering Kosta Koufos received a lot of flack for his lack of rebounding, bat least he was putting up around 15 and 7 and 5 a game (no, not 5 assists, 5 total passes). Like Kufos, perhaps he is gearing up for a post-season run, in the NIT. At least this is one Ohio State player that Mike Conley Sr. won't have to worry about representing.
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