Rumor Mill

One way to guarantee the Browns won't botch their early first-round draft pick: Trade down. They are certainly getting their offers, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution (one of CursedCleveland.com's many affiliated newspapers).

If Oakland goes with LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell and Detroit follows with Wisconsin tackle Joe Thomas, then Cleveland would be the target.

The Browns would likely want quarterback Matt Schaub, the 10th pick and at least next season's first rounder. They might even ask for Freddie Falcon and couple of cheerleaders, too.

Can Freddie Falcon play nose tackle?
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Browns Sign J-Lew

Love him or hate him, Jamal Lewis is going to be wearing orange and brown this season. Not sure how you feel about the deal? Neither am I, but I was comforted by the fact that it is a one year deal. I know the diehards are probably fuming over this one. The majority of us are probably most familiar with Jamal Lewis because he had a supporting role in Gerard Warren's best game as a Cleveland Brown (as I'm sure everyone remembers Lewis actually broke the single-game rushing record and Warren played terrible).

Those who feel this acquisition threatens our chances to take Adrian Peterson need not worry. Adrian Peterson's father was in jail for drugs most of his life so Jamal Lewis would be the most natural fit as a mentor for AP. That would be a punishing backfield! And please, lets get over the drug thing. The only reason any of us hate Jamal Lewis is because he was responsible for two of the worst days of our lives, so please lets just leave the drug thing alone. If it takes a drug dealer to get me to the playoffs, I'm fine with that. When did everyone get so high and mighty in Cleveland that we can't have a misfit here and there, it helps build character.

I certainly don't believe Jamal Lewis is the answer and I definitely would rather be going for d-lineman or another o-lineman in free agency right now, but lets not write this guy off. He is 27 years old, he has posted a 2000 yard season, and he has numerous jail tattoos and loads of street-cred.

Photo courtesy of espn.com

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Northcutt Heads South

The Browns were dealt a major free agent blow over the past few days with the loss of Dennis Northcutt, one of the last remaining vestiges of the forgettable Chris Palmer era. Clamoring for some semblance of an identity since the team's return in 1999, the Browns fan base will assuredly lament the loss of Northcutt (shown above, preparing to drop the football), who is synonymous with the new era Browns. The now former Browns ball-dropper will always have a fondness for his days in Cleveland:

"It was a system that really wasn’t for me,” Northcutt explained “For them, they really didn’t like small receivers. And I wasn’t in the slot [and] they didn’t want to put me in the slot. There were a lot of things that happened."

He's dead on. The Browns never implemented an offense that could properly utilize a guy who couldn't go over the middle, couldn't run routes, couldn't catch the football and couldn't develop the requisite chemistry in the television studio on "Browns Table" with broadcast professionals Les Levine and Michael Reghi. Congratulations Jaguars, you just spent $22 million at a guy who's averaging 1.5 TD catches a season throughout his careeer - Mike Vrabel has made bigger catches, and is probably more elusive. The Jags essentially threw money at a guy who couldn't catch it. Continue Entry»

Draft, Free Agency, Rumors and More

Can't wait for the draft? Tired of being a loser and navigating from site to site for the latest rumors? Want to know who the Browns are going to get in the draft and free agency? Well I was a loser and searched all the sites for you, so no need to go any further.

Combine's Top Performers
-Calvin Johnson (WR: Georgia Tech) 4.35 40-yard dash at 6'5" 239 lbs (in a pair of borrowed shoes)
-Adrian Peterson (RB: Oklahoma) 4.38 40 yard dash, 38 1/2 vertical, 10'7" broad jump
-Laron Landry (Safety: LSU) ran a 4.32 40-yard dash
-Chris Houston (CB: Arkansas) ran a 4.35 40-yard dash and also led the DB's with 27 reps
-Chris Henry (RB: Arizona) ran a 4.40 40-yard dash at 230 lbs and also did 26 reps, this was a surprise since he barely even started in college
-Gaines Adams (DE: Clemson) ran a 4.66 40-yard dash and stood out in LB drills as well
-Alan Branch (DL: Michigan) ran a 5.08 at 6'5"3/4 324 lbs and did 33 reps
-Adam Carriker (DL: Nebraska) ran a 4.85 40-yard dash at 6'6" 296 lbs and did 33 reps
-Anthony Gonzalez (WR: Ohio State) ran a 4.44 40-yard dash and had a 38-inch vertical
-Yamon Figures (WR: Kansas State) ran a 4.30 40-yard dash
-Jason Hill (WR: Washington State) ran a 4.32 40-yard dash
-Patrick Willis (LB: Mississippi) ran a 4.51 40-yard dash with 22 reps
-Joe Thomas (OT: Wisconsin) ran a 4.92 40-yard dash and did 28 reps and had 33" vertical
-Justin Blalock (OG: Texas) ran a 5.10 40-yard dash and did 40 bench reps

Some Rumors

ProFootballTalk.com reports that the San Francisco 49er's might already have a deal in place for Baltimore Raven's linebacker Adalius Thomas. Now this would make sense if you were actually allowed to work a deal right now (which you aren't). For those Brown's fans hoping to get Thomas (I would be included), it more than likely will be between us and the 49er's. Let's hope the Phil Savage connection is stronger than the Mike Nolan connection.

It is starting to sound more and more like the Browns will make a push for Kris Dielman, the guard from the San Diego Chargers. Reports out of San Diego have the Browns as one of the main players. Obviously there is a connection with Chudzinski coming over from the Chargers and it might make more sense than the Steinbach signing. Steinbach probably is a more complete player but you are more than likely going to have to pay him tackle money.

Other Free Agents

CB's: Roderick Hood (Eagles), Travis Fisher (Rams).......When a guy named Jereme Perry touches the football field, that means you are probably a little thin at corner. We need a lot of help here. I think you would really have to break the bank to get Nate Clements b/c of the lack of quality corners in this years free ageny pool. Phil will give a long hard look at these two guys, not sign either one of them and then go draft a corner and find out early on he will not be able to play the entire year (DeMario Minter) or one that will fade into obscurity faster than you can say Antonio Perkins.

OG's: Cooper Carlisle (Broncos), Montrae Holland (Saints).......Once again, I do not watch offensive lineman play but scout.com has these two guys in their top 50 free agents and I think they actually do reasearch.

WR: Brandon Stokely (Colts).....Not actually a free agent but look for the Colts to dump his salary to clear up some space. He is the protypical slot reciever. This is one of our most overlooked needs. You have Braylon and Jurevicious with absolutely no proven NFL talent behind them.

Photo Courtesy of ivts.wordpress.com

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2007 Mock Draft: First Edition

I think the old saying goes something like, "Mock Drafts are like assholes, everyone has one." Not to be outdone by the thousands of blogs more successful than ours, we've had our NFL draft beat reporter Jeremy Garver slaving on his own version of the CursedCleveland.com inaugural mock draft. Bash away.

1. Oakland Raiders - QB JaMarcus Russell (LSU) : I think Al Davis still has one more awful pick left in him before he dies (hasn't he been 90 the past 15 years?). Here, he is going to go with one of the most over-hyped QB's in recent history. You know you are about to draft a bust when they start talking about how the guy can throw 50 yds sitting down (Check Kyle Boller). You have to wonder how he would do against the speed of an NFL defense (Check his game against Florida). Good news for Browns fans though, apparently Phil Savage is hot after Marques Tuiasosopo and the drafting of Russell could mean we could snag the 3rd-stringer away from the worst team in the NFL.

2. Detroit Lions - QB Brady Quinn (Notre Dame) : No way should he go this high but he will probably do extremely well at his workouts and could possibly fool a top-notch GM like Matt Millen into taking him. I'm sure his failure to play well in the big games in college will translate well into the NFL (What week do the Lions play Air Force?). A lot of experts have Joe Thomas going here but I highly doubt it since the Lions just signed Jeff Backus to a 6-year deal worth over $40 million last year, making him the 6th highest paid lineman in the NFL. Even though Kitna threw for over 4000 yards this year (Ken Dorsey could go for 4000 in a Mike Martz offense) he isn't getting any younger and Quinn could sit behind him like Carson Palmer did with Kitna in Cincinatti. (Note: In no way shape or form do I think Quinn has anywhere near the ability that Palmer did)

3. Cleveland Browns - RB Adrian Peterson (Oklahoma) : Perhaps you haven't seen the guy play? If that is the case, I would encourage you to check out BSmith's videolink of AP on our site before you read this. Does he have an injury history? Yes. But please don't tell me to draft Joe Thomas because Adrian Peterson is injury prone. Joe Thomas just came off of an ACL tear during his Junior year (that is a great injury for an o-lineman). Want to know what Reuben Droughns longest rush of the year was? It was 22 yards. I hate to go cliche on you here but I'm not about to pass up on another Ladanian Tomlinson.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - WR Calvin Johnson (Georgia Tech) : I think this is really the only no-brainer this year in the top five of the draft. Galloway isn't getting any younger and they have no depth at receiver. Calvin Johnson is hands down the most talented player in the draft. Tampa Bay is a perfect match, they have a plethora of horrible QB's (Simms, Gradkowski and Ratay) that will force him to make ridiculous catches over the middle and waste his talent like Reggie Ball did at Georgia Tech.

5. Arizona Cardinals - OT Joe Thomas (Wisconsin) : Although they have needs on defense, the primary goal should be protecting their franchise quarterback and future "Mancrush of the Week" nominee. I don't buy into the Joe Thomas hype, nor do I really watch offensive lineman throughout the college football season. Actually, anyone who follows an offensive lineman's career is generally either: A. Lying ;B. A complete loser; or C. A complete loser who played O-line in high school.

6. Washington Redskins - DE Jamaal Anderson (Arkansas) : The Redskins defense struggled to make plays last year (trust me, I wisely drafted them for my fantasy team). Andre Carter led the team in sacks with 6.0 and the team had 19.0 sacks total. That is miserable. Coming off a surprising Junior year with 13.5 sacks, Jamaal Anderson should help out immediately.

7. Minnesota Vikings - WR Dwayne Jarrett (USC) : The days of Randy Moss and Chris Carter are long gone and a new era of Troy Williamson and Travis Taylor has been ushered in to the tune of about a combined 1100 yards between the two. Dwayne Jarrett may not be a burner but he is solid and was productive from day one in college. I think people need to stop worrying that Jarrett is Mike Williams reincarnated.

8. Houston Texans - OT Levi Brown (Penn State) : God it sucks to be a Houston fan (and I'm a Browns fan so that should be very insulting). Another year of not getting the player you want. After the Browns snatch Adrian Peterson up, the Texans best bet will be improving the NFL's worst offensive line. Carr was sacked 41 times this year and 249 in his career. Personally, I think Levi Brown is better than Joe Thomas even though I have not watched either one of them play a down.

9. Miami Dolphins - DT Alan Branch (Michigan) : Doesn't it seem like every year there is a defensive tackle that everyone says is unlike any they have seen in years? Well last year it was Haloti Ngata and this year it is Alan Branch. Between Vonnie Holliday, Dan Wilkinson and Keith Traylor the Dolphins could use a little youth in the middle. Branch can play from day one and plug his fat 331-pound body in the middle.

10. Atlanta Falcons - DE Gaines Adams (Clemson) : Atlanta's defensive line is in big need of help. Grady Jackson is 34, their best pass-rusher Patrick Kerney opted to not resign and Jonathan Babineaux is fresh off beating his girlfriend's pitbull to death. Gaines Adams will be a steal here. He has been productive throughout his college career and will be an instant presence coming off of the edge.

....and the rest of them

11. San Fransisco 49ers - S Laron Landry (LSU) : Might not be Ronnie Lott, but they need playmakers on the defense and he is an animal.

12. Buffalo Bills - DT Amobi Okoye (Louisville) : A prodigy, played at Louisville as a 16-year old Freshman. Blew away everyone at the Senior Bowl.

13. St. Louis Rams - OLB Lawrence Timmons (Florida State) : He was overshadowed by Buster Davis most of the year and this is probably a little bit of a reach but sometimes you have to reach when your outside linebackers are currently Brandon Chillar and Pisa Tinoisamoa.

14. Carolina Panthers - S Reggie Nelson (Florida) : John Fox probably would have liked a hard-hitter like Landry but they will settle for Nelson who isn't too shabby himself.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers - CB Darrelle Revis (Pittsburgh) : I think every Browns fan got a good laugh when the Steelers threw a bunch of money at Ike Taylor (he is pitiful). They're going to go hometown here and this guy is good, real good. How do I know this? Most the mock drafts that I have ripped off today say that, (I have never seen him play).

16. Green Bay Packers - RB Marshawn Lynch (California) : His recent arrest might allow him to slip a few spots to Green Bay. It appears Ahman Green is on his way out (and I can't remember the last time he was good anyways) so this will be a perfect fit.
Editor's note: It has since come to our attention that Lynch was never arrested, only accused. The district attorney declined to press charges. Thanks to a reader for catching the mistake. There are 42 other errors in this mock draft, let's see if you can find the rest!

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - WR Robert Meachem (Tennessee) : Some people will have Ted Ginn ahead of him but Meachem is a little more polished. He is also 6'3" and about 210. His stock will probably skyrocket after the combine (when this fails to happen you can come back and rip my mock for having him this high).

18. Cincinatti Bengals - OLB/DE Quentin Moses (Georgia) : I don't know what the time table is for recovery after a broken neck, but I think David Pollack is out for awhile. They will go with another Bulldog here and see if he can make the switch as a 3-4 rush linebacker.

19. Tennessee Titans - CB Leon Hall (Michigan) : I guess I will rip off some of the mocks I've been reading and go with the same joke I've seen on every one. "As long as he doesn't have to cover Ted Ginn or Dwayne Jarrett then he will be fine". Pacman is their only good corner and he is always one club fight away from a 4-game suspension.

20. New York Giants - OLB Jon Beason (Miami) : Not quite sure who Reggie Torbor but my best guess is that will be the guy Beason replaces.

21. Denver Broncos - DE Charles Johnson (Georgia) : Looks like the old Brown's D-Line wasn't as good as it was hyped up to be. Charles Johnson will give them a good pass-rusher opposite Ebeneezer Ekuban.

22. Dallas Cowboys - WR Ted Ginn (Ohio State) : There probably are bigger areas of need for them but they are getting old and have no depth at receiver. Ginn is not polished but would do fine in the slot and would instantly turn around their mediocre return game as long as Roy Hall stays away from him.

23. Kansas City Chiefs - WR Dwayne Bowe (LSU) : I can't think of a team that has settled with crappier receivers year in year out. Samie Parker and Eddie Kennison's total jersey sales combined last year were five, four of which were sold on the clearance rack at Marshalls. Dwayne Bowe could be a star. He was somewhat of a late-bloomer but that happens when you are partially blind sometimes. His eyes are fixed now and he can see the ball (this could be one of the steals of the draft).

24. New England Patriots - OLB Paul Posluszny (Penn State) : He's an old school Bill Belichick type linebacker and if he gets a concussion he is not going to rat on Bill like Ted Johnson did. Shame on you Ted, your motor skills are not important to any of us anymore because you no longer play football.

25. New York Jets - CB Aaron Ross (Texas) : Best available corner and a pretty good value if he falls this far.

26. Philadelphia Eagles - OLB Rufus Alexander (Oklahoma) : I love Trotter and so does Philly but he is not good anymore. But the Eagles will give him one more year b/c everybody loves the "Wood Chop" celebration. Rufus is a tough Philly-type guy. Dhani Jones........Is not.

27. New Orleans Saints - MLB Patrick Willis (Mississippi) : All white linebacking units haven't worked since the 1970's, and they certainly didn't work in the playoffs against Chicago. Patrick Willis is probably the best linebacker in the draft and I will be surprised if he slips this far but ILB's always do.

28. New England Patriots - WR Sidney Rice (South Carolina) : The Patriots were about a catch or two away from advancing in the playoffs but the Colts hit wide reciever Reche Caldwell with the dreaded Zero coverage scheme where they leave you wide open and see if you can catch the ball. Reche Caldwell didn't......and he should probably kill himself. Rice catches just about everything thrown his way.

29. Baltimore Ravens - OT Justin Blaylock (Texas) : He is massive and the Raven's O-line is getting old. Could probably play either guard spot or right tackle.

30. San Diego Chargers - S Michael Griffin (Texas) : Definitely need help at receiver but most the good ones are gone by now. Not many weak spots on this team but god did their secondary suck in the playoffs.

31. Chicago Bears - OT Joe Staley (Central Michigan) : Fred Miller is getting old and they need guys to give Rex Grossman time so he can throw more interceptions instead of fumbling in the pocket.

32. Indianapolis Colts - DT Justin Harrell (Tennessee) : The Colts defense fooled everyone by saving up energy during the regular season and then showing up in the playoffs. If your defense makes Ron Dayne look like Walter Payton, then you probably need to beef up the middle. Harrell would have been higher but he is coming off of an injury.
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Micro-Fracture Surgery for K2

CLEVELAND, Ohio - According to the Akron-Beacon Journal, Browns tight-end Kellen Winslow may have a rough road to recovery this offseason. This is great news for Browns fans, who just yesterday had it confirmed that center LeCharles Bentley wouldn't return for the '07 season. Although, let's not get too down on our luck, we do have a big coin flip to lose tomorrow, and Gary Baxter is recovering quicker than anyone thought (and still probably won't play this year). Micro-fracture surgery is something that many athletes have gone through and not recovered from, so lets hope our "Soldier" can beat the odds and come back at close to 100%....even though we know his 80 percent is better than any other tight end in the league in his own humble opinion. Things have gotta turn around don't they? Something good has got to happen for us Cleveland fans....doesn't it? Man it sure feels like I've been saying that very line since I was old enough to talk.

photo courtesy of cheappremiumtickets.com

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Manning Urges Moynahan to Abort Brady's Fetus

Rumors are swirling today that Peyton Manning has been privately lobbying to have Bridget Moynahan consider her abortion options. This may come as a shock to some of you, but who can really blame the guy? Just when Manning had finally conquered the metaphorical dragon, he is now staring down the barrel of a loaded gun with another Brady on his way into this world. To make matters worse for the Super Bowl MVP, divisional foe the Houston Texans appear so desperate to find a replacement for David Carr that they have offered Moynahan a contract of $55 million over 4 years for the rights to the fetus (Which would be a much better deal than taking Mario Williams over Reggie Bush). This could spell trouble for Manning, considering the Colts face the Texans twice a year.

Word out of Tom Brady's camp is that he supports Peyton, no matter what choice he makes. Brady has said, "I am very excited about this child, but it hurts me to see Peyton hurt in this way." Brady later said, "I am also one of the sexiest men alive, and clearly I don't want to have a child with a woman that is nearing forty that I kicked to the curb for a super model."

Here at CursedCleveland.com, we will intently follow this story to report any news on this matter to our loyal fans.

*The preceding has been a Guest Article from CursedCleveland.com's beat writer Mr. Elliott Feldman.

photo courtesy of masslive.com

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His Jersey Number Told Us How Many Games He Would Play

CLEVELAND - How do you go from becoming one of the best centers in the NFL to sitting in a wheelchair contemplating whether you'll ever play another down of football in your career? I'd suggest you go ask Mr. Bentley, who would probably admit that he overlooked the small print in the contract alluding to mandatory staph infections. Savage confirmed what most Clevelanders already suspected, that the former Buckeye and Ignatius grad would miss the entire '07 season with his knee injury. But it's not all bad news from Savage, who did state the following:

"He may never play again."

Well, at least he's not dying or anything. And sorry if we're not exactly feeling badly for him, he did receive a $12 million signing bonus and he's earning an additional $1.4 million towards his base salary. We're not exactly sure how many incentives he'll reach this season while sitting in this. Continue Entry»

K-9 Killa

LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. - According to FoxSports.com, Atlanta Falcons defensive lineman Jonathan Babineaux is claiming that he is not to blame for the death of his girlfriends dog. Gwinnett County Police certainly disagreed with the former Iowa Hawkeye by slapping felony animal abuse charges on him. He allegedly had argued with his girlfriend at home, and when she returned home later from the movies her dog was in "Severe Distress." Kilo, the one and a half year-old pitt bull mix was pronounced dead late Sunday from what police are saying was a "Massive Blow to the Head (I don't know about the rest of you, but I thought pitt bulls were supposed to be deadly dogs who killed humans, not the other way around)." I think this guy should have seen the fact that his girlfriend actually owned a pitt bull as a red flag, but hey love is blind right?

Perhaps Babineaux was taking out his frustrations from only recording 28 tackles this past season, or from not making the playoffs.....orrrr perhaps the dog actually provoked him, it's hard to say at this juncture. A Falcons spokesperson said that the team will refrain from commenting until they have all the information they need (Apparently knowing that the guy killed his girlfriend's dog isn't enough, they could be waiting to see if he sexually assaulted it as well). A note to those of you in scenic Gwinnett County: Babineaux was released on $2,300 bond Monday morning, so please keep your dogs inside until this matter is cleared up.

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Big Game Brady Headed to Cleveland?

CLEVELAND, OHIO - According to our friends at ESPN's NFL Live, Brady Quinn would be the draft pick that makes the most sense for the Browns this offseason, especially because he's someone the fans can get excited about (Personally, I get more excited about Laura Quinn, and apparently so does A.J. Hawk). These football gurus also provided some insanely useful information about the Browns that we didn't already know like: We can't run the ball or stop the run, Romeo Crennel is on the hot seat, and we might not be set on Qb Charlie Frye (They really did their research to compile these facts). The most interesting thing about the segment on the Brownies was that Mark Schlereth mentioned that Scott Peoli, the GM for New England, could end up in Cleveland if the Browns underachieve because of his Cleveland roots (They also said this would be the only team that Peoli would leave New England for). I guess this means that Phil Savage better go out and make some changes this offseason, including making the right decisions in the draft. ESPN also reported that the Browns are high on JaMarcus Russell because he has worked Savage's QB camps over the last couple of years, clearly a big deciding factor in drafting a franchise quarterback.

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Schott Through the Heart

San Diego- After another season of falling short of the Super Bowl, San Diego Chargers team president Dean Spanos has decided to relieve Marty Schottenheimer of his coaching duties due to what he terms a "dysfunctional situation". Chris Mortensen of ESPN first reported the story on Monday night citing that a big reason for the firing had to do with GM A.J. Smith and Schottenheimer's relationship. The bad relationship between the two is in large part due to the fact that Schottenheimer was angry that Drew Brees was let go. This is in large part speculation, but I recall hearing something about this last year (we here at cursedcleveland.com do little to no research for our articles).

Spanos also cited the loss of numerous assistants as a reason for the move. Both the offensive and the defensive coordinators left town and tight ends coach Rob Chudzinski, as well as linebackers coach Greg Manusky accepted jobs as offensive and defensive coordinator respectively for other teams. Clearly though, the loss of Rob Chudzinski will be the hardest pill to swallow.

Now in Cleveland we are all familiar with "Martyball" but the guy has had a bad break here and there. His style was obviously overly conservative at times and lets not forget the time he told Ernest Byner to fumble the ball at the goalline in the 1987 AFC Championship game. Incidentally, if you google the word "fumble" you get the Byner fumble listed at number 2 (true story). One could claim that giving the ball to Ladanian Tomlinson a little more wouldn't have been conservative, it would have just been plain old smart because he is that unstoppable (can't even imagine what he would have been like on Tecmo Bowl).

A little food for thought. Let's say last year's Super Bowl was refereed by impartial officials and the Steelers lost by about 10 (that is a conservative estimate). What would Bill Cowher's legacy be? Would all the Cleveland fans still want Cowher to come out of retirement to coach their team after years of playoff losses? Didn't think so!

Photo courtesy of www.tsn.ca

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An Online Petition Not Involving Ron Zook

CLEVELAND - Known for their considerable rate of success, online petitions have become almost as commonplace on the world wide web as sports blogs dwelling on the misfortune of Cleveland sports teams (examples 1, 2, 3). It seems that some Browns fans have created DraftTroy.com, with one unequivocal goal in mind - but you'll have to do your own research to figure that out. Although, no such site was needed to convince Butch Davis to take long-snapper Ryan Pontbriand in the fifth round. Continue Entry»

Manning Up

SPECIAL GUEST ARTICLE BY CURSEDCLEVELAND CORRESPONDENT JFINE:

Attention to everyone who would like to get back the four hours of their lives which they wasted watching Super Bowl XLI: Quit feeling sorry for yourselves and embrace the horror that is now becoming one Chicago man’s reality. An unintelligent and uninformed die-hard Bears fan by the name of Scott Wiese is in the process of officially changing his name as a result of one of the most heinous bets in recent memory (not to worry Kingnick, this bet won’t hold a candle to half of your “lock of the day” picks). Due to a bet gone awry and the Bears memorable efforts on Super Bowl Sunday, Mr. Wiese was forced to change his alias to Peyton Manning. This story raises many questions; How stupid does someone have to be to actually follow through with this bet? Who would make such a wager based on a team quarterbacked by Rex Grossman? and finally, does this guy have any friends? The answers; Forrest Gump, Rain Man, and probably more than I do. A word to the wise folks, if you’re planning on making a similar bet in the future, make sure there is a better option for the name change. For instance, should the Cavaliers fall to the Pistons come playoff time, I will forever more be known as Rip Hamilton. My apologies for the last three minutes that you can never get back.

photo courtesy of mlv.com

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Plummer to Spend '07-08 on His Back

HOUSTON, TEXAS - According to the Houston Chronicle, David Carr will be traded and Jake Plummer will be the starting quarterback for the Texans next season (Is it too soon to change his nickname to Jake "The Sack" Plummer?). Apparently new coach Gary Kubiak's thinking...I don't know what the hell he's thinkin'! The Kenny Loggins look-alike will be thrust into a terrible offense and the worst o-line in the league (Well statistically they are the worst, but I can make a strong argument for the Browns tandem of slow, unathletic penalty-magnets), and apparently they're also looking into developing a rookie behind Jake. Emerging young wideout Andre Johnson was quoted as saying "I better work on my tackling, don't want these guys returning all Jake's interceptions for TD's" shortly after catching wind of these plans.

photo courtesy of msn.com

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Browns Sign Steve Sanders!!

CLEVELAND, OHIO - According to Cleveland Browns.com, our beloved Brownies have signed three players off of the reserve squad and are sending five total players over to NFL Europe. Woohoo! Amongst these players is wide receiver Steve Sanders, and judging by the way he's performed in the practice squad over the past year, we might as well have signed the Steve Sanders pictured above (Of course, we'd have to change our team colors to neon yellow, orange and green in order to keep up with 90210 fashion). In related news, the Cowboys have signed Brandon Walsh, and the Lions will be welcoming in Dylan McKay later this afternoon.

photo courtesy of lacoctelera.com Continue Entry»

Brilliant!

photo courtesy of news2.com

Andy Reid must be incredibly proud of his 21 year-old son today after he made headlines for a very uncommon crime amongst his age group. According to Sports Illustrated, Britt Reid (Remember Britt from 8th & Ocean, man she was hot....wait Andy Reid really named his son Britt?) was arraigned on nine counts, including one for making terroristic threats (He doesn't really fit the terrorist demographic, ya know with the red hair and pale skin). The young Ed Herman look-alike got into an argument with another motorist on Jan. 30th, and proceeded to pull out a gun, point it at the guy, and then drive off laughing (In all seriousness, what citizen of this awful-driving Country hasn't wished they had a gun in the glove box to have some fun with during some sort of on-road altercation in their lifetime? The only difference is, this guy actually was drugged up enough to do it.). The best part about this story is the fact that the other motorist was quoted as describing young Reid to police as: "A white kid trying to act like a gangster." Can we be any more politcally correct? I would have paid good money to interview the alleged victim of this hysterical debacle. Anyhow, I think it's safe to say that Andy Reid has done a hell of a job with this young man, and I look forward to his next "Wannabe Gangster" crime story.

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Lebron Jr.

photo courtesy of espn.com

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - Bears star linebacker Brian Urlacher will reportedly sit out the worst event in sports (Yes, I'm obviously referring to the Pro Bowl) due to a toe injury that he suffered while not stopping the run in the Super Bowl yesterday. Fellow star athlete Lebron James can certainly understand where Urlacher is coming from...

"You hate to see one of the great players in the league go down with a fake toe injury," James sympathized. "His only mistake was not faking it earlier. He could have then milked it as an excuse afterwards; a little 'wrinkle' I picked up this season."

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Browns For Sale?

Granted it's a "sweeps month;" meaning the local television news outlets role out their sensationalistic reports in an effort to beef up their ratings - and granted, it's "Action News," but you'll want to check out their investigative report tonight at 11:00. They are rumored to make the case that Randy Lerner has quietly put the Browns up for sale. I'd rather have them ask a more pressing question: Does the Long Island-based Lerner use Mapquest or Google to navigate his way to Cleveland? Continue Entry»

Browns Rumor Mill

This from the Houston Chronicle NFL blog:

"Someone well-connected with the Browns has convinced me that they want Adrian Peterson desperately, which depresses me. I was hoping the Oklahoma running back might slip through the cracks and fall to the eighth spot so the Texans could get him, but now I don't think so.

Here's what has to happen: If JaMarcus Russell ends up going first to the Raiders, Brady Quinn has to impress the scouts so much before the draft that the Browns just have to have him. Quinn is from Columbus, Ohio, and makes no secret of his desire to play for the Browns. If you're like me and you want the Texans to be able to draft Peterson, you need for the first three picks to be Russell, Wisconsin tackle Joe Thomas and Quinn. And it doesn't matter who takes whom. If you're like me, you want Quinn to enhance his ranking before the draft."

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Favre Returns for Another Season

Green Bay, Wisconsin- Football's version of the Messiah has decided to bless us with one more year (at least we hope it is just one more year). Brett Favre decided late last week that he would return for his 17th season. How could he not come back after a 18TD and 18INT season with a 56% completion percentage?

If you are like me and you hate Brett Favre, this decision doesn't surprise you. I am just surprised he didn't hold a press conference while Tony Dungy was giving his speech at the Super Bowl to shine the limelight on himself a little more. I suppose, however, that I am glad that we won't have to wake up every day to ESPN talking about how Brett Favre is a gun-slinger and how he has a good three years left in him.

There has never been a player that has slipped more and somehow maintained his grip on the media more than Brett Favre. After dabbling in Javon Walker's contract negotiations (as if that was his business), Javon Walker ended up tearing his ACL in 2005. Probably would have been nice if Walker could have gotten that contract done before he tore his ACL, but that wasn't in Brett Favre's plans. Or how about Brett Farve holding the team hostage last year and not deciding he was going to play until a few days before the draft. What a team first guy! A guy that is so into his own legacy like Brett Favre will go out on his own terms, just like Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice. I can't wait to see how miserable he is in 2007 and I look forward to his 2008 appearance on Dancing with the Stars!

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