Monday, January 19, 2009

Another Mediocre Steelers Team Super Bowl Bound

CLEVELAND, OH - Don’t look now football fans, but the overrated, extremely mediocre Pittsburgh Steelers are headed to their 2nd Super Bowl in 4 years. This story is about as captivating as a Friday night in downtown Willoughby, OH. For those of you who don’t know, those evenings usually entail several males, without a female in sight, sitting around watching extremely feminine shows/movies, all while periodically checking Facebook for young girl profile updates.

Just when I thought there never would be a more average team to make a Super Bowl than that 2005 Steelers squad, those same cats in the Black and Gold prove me wrong in ‘09. Can a playoff road be any easier than there’s has been this year? They had to beat the 8-8 Chargers, with no LT, who shouldn’t have even been in the Playoffs to begin with, and then the Joe Flacco led Baltimore Ravens. I’m not sure who would score more in a game, that Ravens offense or one which consisted of Pat Tillman at halfback, Sean Taylor at wide out, Korey Stringer anchoring the O-Line and Hunter Kelly leading the way at QB.


It’s not hard to make the Super Bowl when you play in a terrible division and have an absolute cakewalk to the championship. I don’t know what will be more annoying when watching this Super Bowl, the endless Mike Tomlin/Omar Epps retarded comparisons or Big Ben playing terrible for 3 qtrs and then leading one good drive for a TD and the subsequent cock-blowing that will follow. Has there ever been a more overrated QB than this guy? The fact that anyone can compare him to the Tom Brady’s and Peyton Manning’s of the world is just mind-boggling. What’s also mind-boggling is that I’m writing this article with jizzhut.com minimized on my computer just salivating at the thought of their new Monday movie updates.

Anyway, the blame shouldn’t be all on the Steelers for ruining yet another NFL season but also on the rigged NFL and its officials. First, they make a phantom “running into the kicker” call which should have been renamed a, “not touching the kicker or doing anything illegal” call, which conveniently led to a TD. Then there’s a BLATANT helmet to helmet hit, which almost paralyzes Willis McGahee, and all of a sudden the refs have a harder time locating their flags than Ben Roethlisberger does locating his sack on a daily basis. It’s really very simple, whoever the NFL wants in the Super Bowl they get which is why this league is so stupid and why terribly mediocre teams go to multiple Super Bowls.

Look, the only reason to even watch this thing is to watch the best receiver in the game (Larry Fitzgerald) dominate and to root for a solid, good guy in Kurt Warner. There’s no doubt I will be rooting hard for the Cardinals to win not only because I hate the Steelers but also because if they win maybe Ken Whisenhunt can get a raise and do something about his disgustingly brown top front teeth. I don’t know what’s more painful, getting denied by a 17 yr old at the Beach Club or watching this dude smile?

12 comments:

Webmaster said...

Rest in peace Beach Club!

Anonymous said...

Pat Tillman references?

That's hilarious!

/8 years ago

Anonymous said...

Holy shit...this was fucking terrible. Stick to jizzhut because you apparently know nothing about sports. I don't even like the Steelers but I'm not retarded enough to call a Super Bowl Championship squad "average". Let me guess, you're the same retard that said the Browns were sweet last year and they're super bowl bound this year.

Anonymous said...

P.S. - I didn't think anyone could actually make me wish Justin Welsh was writing instead. Congrats mission accomplished.

aaronjmac said...

Speaking of overrated QBs who have had their cock in the mouth of sports journalists for years, let's not forget Brett Favre.

Webmaster said...

I was waiting for the bashes. Where the hell have you guys been?

Webmaster said...

New Podcast is up, get at it!

Anonymous said...

That podcast got really good at like 1:10 into it. Wait no that was just my internet buffering, the podcast came back on again. I knew that wishing for a silent podcast was too good to be true.

ShaneVendrell said...

Stop hiding behind your anonymous status like a vagina fellas...

Webmaster said...

Shane, I'm essentially using an anonymous name.

thecollegehockeyblog said...

That last anon. was hilarious. So was the podcast though. This may or may not be my favorite blog ever. Leaning towards yes though.

ShaneVendrell said...

I'll make sure to not to post under anonymous anymore

Post a Comment