Roddick vs. Federer Part 258

Melbourne, AUSTRALIA - Well tennis fans, the stage is set for yet another classic Andy Roddick vs. Roger Federed matchup in this year's Australian Open semifinals...of course by classic I mean Federer will thoroughly embarass my long time man crush spurring fantastic post-match press conferences like this one. This time around, Roddick has trimmed off 15 lbs. and is said to be playing his best tennis ever. He is coming off a victory over Novak Djokovic, who may be the biggest pussy on the planet. Djokovic, who has a history of retiring only comparable to Brett Favre, had to quit the match in the 4th set because it was too hot out for him. What a faggot. You're the defending champion, think you could stand the heat for a few more minutes to finish getting stomped?

This highly anticipated matchup can be seen on ESPN, the only problem is that much like watching ABC's hit show Lost, we don't know if it's taking place live, in the past, or in the future for that matter. Does ESPN realize that they don't ever televise the Australian Open live, and if they do they make sure not to advertise when the matches will air. The last match I caught was Roddick beating up on some guy, however I'd already seen that he won the match online. Never fear though, I'll be sure to post results, and hopefully Roddick's press conference 20-30 hours after the match is over, you know...when I finally find out who wins!