Tuesday, January 13, 2009

What We've Been Up To...

For those of you who were wondering, the staff here at CursedCleveland.com has been very busy in 2008, and couldn't be happier about this triumphant and most likely short-lived return to prominence here in '09. One of us has been busy stalking young (Really young) girls on Facebook, using fake AIM screen names to arrange potential sting operation meetings, and occasionally getting in a workout or two. The other has been planning weddings, setting records for watching television series on DVD faster than anyone ever has, finding and evaluating each and every new free porn website, and never (I mean never) working out. I'll allow our esteemed list of readers determine which is which.

Don't expect to see Jeremy G posting any Mock Drafts, as he's moved on to bigger and better things (And by bigger and better things, I mean we just haven't heard from him in a while). Actually, I just received word that Jeremy G may be dropping by from time to time, Thank God! Nevada Nick has also retired, allowing those of you who were foolish enough to take his advice to hopefully pay your bills and stop dodging your bookie. From here on out, you can expect terribly opinionated articles with absolutely no statistical analysis, and punchlines that often won't fit into articles but we simply find too funny not to include.

Don't you worry though, we've gone ahead and added a couple of real journalistic masterminds for your reading pleasure. First, Shane Vendrell, a Journalism & Sports Management major from Harvard (My roommate who graduated from Bowling Green). He currently coaches basketball, and therefore will use his knowledge of the low-post game to dig into all-things Cavs. He, too knows a thing or two about the world of free internet porn and may dabble into that from time to time. Second, Vic Mackey, a physical education major from USC (My other roommate) who's man-crush on every cast member of "The Shield" has become a bit ridiculous as of late. As he's the only one of us who ever played a real sport in college (If you consider playing fullback for a division III program real sport) he'll tackle most of our in-depth Browns analysis. He, more than any of us, knows everything there is to know about the world of internet porn. Expect to hear from him right after his post-workday naps! For those of you who are new to the blog, please don't read any further unless you appreciate one or more of the following things:

Finding the humor in all things relating to Cleveland Sports as a way of coping with the fact that we will all be tortured for the remainder of our lives, much as our fathers have, and their fathers before them (for those of us that have them).
  • Jokes pertaining to, or references to dead people (and often those who are recently deceased, there's no "Too Soon" here, only "Too late").
  • References to AdultFriendFinder.com

    Disparaging comments about Lebron James (we'll try to take it easy on him now)
  • Kobe Bryant
  • Obsessive man-crushes
  • Unprotected Sex (On a related note, please exit the site immediately if you have been, or intend on being tested for STD's in the future)

We're back baby, and we encourage your comments (Even those that are more ignorant than the posts themselves...I know, I know that's tough to do). We're also open to new writers, especially those who are of the same set of beliefs as we are. If you'd like to join the team, send along a paragraph about yourself, including insight into your daily habits, the Cleveland Sports Figure you'd most likely hook up with if you had to, and a picture of yourself from the waste down.


bill said...

you guys seem like losers!

Webmaster said...

No fake comments yet?

Cortes said...

fantastic 'shield' references, my man!

aaronjmac said...

you guys seem like BIG losers!!

Mara said...

I love that you're back!!! Can't wait to hear all the insites.

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