Tuesday, February 13, 2007

"I'm Still Fat...So I'll Sue the Doctors!"


FAT CAMP - According to this story, Notre Dame's portly, overrated coach is suing for malpractice after complications with a gastric bypass surgery that he had in June of '02. The man that is the proud owner of the most pronounced "FUPA" in sports slipped into a coma that threatened his life for nearly two weeks (Thankfully he lived, and now we don't have to worry about Notre Dame ever winning a game that they're not supposed to win as long as he is holding the reigns). Weis and his attorney are contending that he still suffers leg injuries today as a result of the internal bleeding that took place, and are seeking restitution for this matter (Personally, I think his legs are simply struggling to hold up the rest of his body). An attorney for the doctors in this case was quoted as saying "There was no malpractice...This man is simply fat, and no surgery is going to resurrect the years of saturated fat punishment that his body has taken. Perhaps he should try eating less, working out and putting together better defensive gameplans."
Photo By Bob Rosato/SI

3 comments:

Jamarcus Russell said...

Man, Charlie Weis made me into a WAY higher draft pick than I should be. Tom Zbikowski is also the worst safety on earth

Cameron Manheim said...

I think you messed up and posted a picture of me.

Anthony Lima said...

As Cursed Cleveland's in house counsel, I really don't see much of a case for Charlie. He had no serious health problems as a result. Not to mention, medical reports show that his body was 95% made up of a complex mix of sugars that are identical to what is found in twinkies and Bryan Smith's blood. The coma couldn't have been the doctor's fault.

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