Tuesday, January 13, 2009

CursedCleveland.com for Sale, Act Fast!!



Exactly two years ago, CursedCleveland.com arrived on the blog scene unlike any other anti-Cleveland sports blog had before. The site was unapologetic in it's mission to make fun of the easy targets, like Richard Jeni, Gerald Levert, and Terry Shiavo. The goal was clear: CursedCleveland was only going after those we wanted to have sex with. In the next two years of on and off again blogging, we gave you access to the teams we hate you love like nobody else. We told you the Browns were bad at coin flipping, that the Cavs should trade LeBron for Kobe, and that Jeanette Lee is the hottest Korean nine ball temptress in the game today.

Ok, now you can see why nobody read our site and why we stopped posting alltogether (Rachel Maddow was giving blow jobs when we posted our last entry). We suck, and for some reason, Waiting For Next Year gets more hits than the New York Times website.

Doing my bad Seth Myers impression:

Really, people flock to their site for real sports jawboning?
Really, they wrote a breaking news story about Beanie Wells and didn't write one joke about how his durability rivals that of Patrick Swayze?
Really, they're live blogging now?

Ok, we get it. They're a good site, if you want straight forward sports talk. They're Paul Harvey to our Howard Stern (or Opie and Anthony, if you wanted a more accurate analogy based on ratings..). Is there room for two of us in this world? Sure. Wait, people still go to Swerb's blurbs? You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Alright, so much like the television station I work for, this blog will always be in last place. And that's why we're doing what Randy Lerner should have done years ago: We're selling the naming rights. CursedCleveland.com is an amazing name. It's catchy and when you use it on a yahoo chat session, you'll be able to arrange meetups with all sorts of girls that might or might not be shopping at Hot Topic.

Look, we have no choice. Much like all the other sketchy sites we, umm.. belong to, GoDaddy automatically renewed our site for two years, while stealing money from our bank account, kinda like what the Indians do when you put money down for post-season tickets.

So get in while you can. Make sure to use Tootie, or Flex pay! It's in Gem Mint condition!

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Sorry cursed, I don't have 4 dollars just laying around.

Anonymous said...

Maybe if Erica Hill was working for this blog rather than spending all her time trying to beat the caption over at AC 360 cursedclevland would not only be pulling in the key 17-34 male demographic, but also have some intelligent insight.

Anonymous said...

Wow guys, cool jokes.

DP said...

Can't wait to hear your podcasts... oh, wait.

Anonymous said...

Opie and Anthony is a great comparison as they're no longer on in Cleveland as well.

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