Another Mediocre Steelers Team Super Bowl Bound

CLEVELAND, OH - Don’t look now football fans, but the overrated, extremely mediocre Pittsburgh Steelers are headed to their 2nd Super Bowl in 4 years. This story is about as captivating as a Friday night in downtown Willoughby, OH. For those of you who don’t know, those evenings usually entail several males, without a female in sight, sitting around watching extremely feminine shows/movies, all while periodically checking Facebook for young girl profile updates.

Just when I thought there never would be a more average team to make a Super Bowl than that 2005 Steelers squad, those same cats in the Black and Gold prove me wrong in ‘09. Can a playoff road be any easier than there’s has been this year? They had to beat the 8-8 Chargers, with no LT, who shouldn’t have even been in the Playoffs to begin with, and then the Joe Flacco led Baltimore Ravens. I’m not sure who would score more in a game, that Ravens offense or one which consisted of Pat Tillman at halfback, Sean Taylor at wide out, Korey Stringer anchoring the O-Line and Hunter Kelly leading the way at QB.

It’s not hard to make the Super Bowl when you play in a terrible division and have an absolute cakewalk to the championship. I don’t know what will be more annoying when watching this Super Bowl, the endless Mike Tomlin/Omar Epps retarded comparisons or Big Ben playing terrible for 3 qtrs and then leading one good drive for a TD and the subsequent cock-blowing that will follow. Has there ever been a more overrated QB than this guy? The fact that anyone can compare him to the Tom Brady’s and Peyton Manning’s of the world is just mind-boggling. What’s also mind-boggling is that I’m writing this article with jizzhut.com minimized on my computer just salivating at the thought of their new Monday movie updates.

Anyway, the blame shouldn’t be all on the Steelers for ruining yet another NFL season but also on the rigged NFL and its officials. First, they make a phantom “running into the kicker” call which should have been renamed a, “not touching the kicker or doing anything illegal” call, which conveniently led to a TD. Then there’s a BLATANT helmet to helmet hit, which almost paralyzes Willis McGahee, and all of a sudden the refs have a harder time locating their flags than Ben Roethlisberger does locating his sack on a daily basis. It’s really very simple, whoever the NFL wants in the Super Bowl they get which is why this league is so stupid and why terribly mediocre teams go to multiple Super Bowls.

Look, the only reason to even watch this thing is to watch the best receiver in the game (Larry Fitzgerald) dominate and to root for a solid, good guy in Kurt Warner. There’s no doubt I will be rooting hard for the Cardinals to win not only because I hate the Steelers but also because if they win maybe Ken Whisenhunt can get a raise and do something about his disgustingly brown top front teeth. I don’t know what’s more painful, getting denied by a 17 yr old at the Beach Club or watching this dude smile?

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Look Alike Alert!

Cleveland, OH - Pictured above you will find two distinguished gentlemen. One is the future Cleveland Browns GM, and the other is best known for his work as Kevin Arnold's father in the hit show "The Wonder Years." Both rock the classic "Side-Part" hair style, made famous by me in middle school thanks to some bad parenting. Let's hope that Kokonis can help to instill some discipline into this team of tackle-missing asshats the way that Mr. Arnold did in raising two upstanding children in Kevin & Wayne....Butthead! Continue Entry»

Tony Grossi's No Jay Glazer

BEREA - Apparently the Plain Dealer Browns beat reporter Tony Grossi isn't just in the business of routinely finishing second or third to Jay Glazer and Chris Mortensen on vital organizational stories out of Berea. Now he's just flat-out jumping the gun and making things up.

"The Browns apparently are in no hurry to name George Kokinis as their next general manager. A source close to their search said that as of this afternoon the club had no announcements planned for Monday. In fact, a second interview between the Baltimore Ravens pro personnel director and Browns owner Randy Lerner may not occur until later in the week."

In the news business, it's called a retraction. It's a pretty serious mis-step by Grossi, who lately has been missing the mark. We're starting to question if his main source in Berea was Dennis Northcutt. Seriously, find us a story he's scooped anyone on since Northcutt has left town, we dare you! He's really turning into the last guy to know things - his family won't even tell him where the reunion is in two months (Expect Glazer to have it tomorrow).

Perhaps he's spending a little too much time on his neverending crusade to keep Art Modell out of the Hall of Fame. Even Iñigo Montoya thinks you're a little obsessed at this point. In all fairness, we haven't heard Grossi's side of the story yet. But we will all get to hear it on tomorrow's podcast, as he joins me live!! Just make sure to let him know. Or tell Glazer to write about it, then it'll get to him eventually.

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Newzin'

Let the George Kokinis era begin, as Tony Grossie throws all sorts of caution to the wind and puts his career on the he has a great hairline with this report. It's tough for us to have a definitive point of view on a GM hire considering the entire profession has been reduced to a crap shoot. Supposedly this guy can scout and the Browns simply couldn't pass up a chance to land another Ravens scouting afficionado , or a Belichick disciple, or a first time offensive coordinator.

Three months ago, he was fighting for a title at Madison Square Garden. Next month, he'll be fighting at an auditorium in Youngstown. So much for the great really, really white hype. Pavlik looks to come back strong.

The former best player in the league plays against the best player in the league tonight. Feel free to decide which is which. Kobe and LeBron won't acknowledge rivalry.

Browns looking at Fox Sports Radio's (and former finger waver) Bryan Cox as a defensive line coach. If the same vein, can we please get a team to interview Mike Golic, as long as it gets him off the air? Browns interview Cox.

Is this kid stil living off the Etch a Sketch? How about adapting to some new technology. I mastered Tetris when I was 15...you know what I did next? I moved on (No I didn't. I can start at level 9 and get to roughly 197 lines, send in your screen caps and donkey kong kill screens). Etch a Sketch kid does Obama

So this is why Waiting for Next Year is sending out "tweets" to nobody in particular. Although they understood their readers' urgings: When it comes to WFNY, less is definitely better.

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Look-Alike Alert!

As you know, here at CursedCleveland.com we're committed to bringing you nothing but useless information. Continuing with that platform, we're excited to introduce a new column that has nothing to do with analysis, stats, or humor. Instead, we'll go ahead and find athletes who look like other celebrities and show them to you...and if you're lucky we'll include a couple of witty lines. Pictured above are Cavaliers guard Sasha Pavlovic, and Prison Break star Wentworth Miller. These guys have the same facial structure, same haircut, and the same defensive abilities. They also have two of the absolute worst male names I've ever heard. Continue Entry»

Sunday Ramblings

CLEVELAND, OH - I can't even explain how happy I am to see Donovan McNabb out of the playoffs again, and one can't help but wonder if this game would have gone a different way had he not borrowed Derek Anderson's touch on every short pass he threw today. For a Browns fan, this time of year is usually very difficult. You're not sure whether or not to even watch football and if you do, the games are usually disappointing. Typically, Sundays in January are spent hungover, reading disgustingly uneducated articles by the likes of Terry Pluto (or watching videos of high school girls on facebook....or both). This Sunday, I watched an inspired Cardinals team with hands down the best receiver on the planet knock out my second most hated team in the NFL.

It kills me to hear analysts talk about how good Brian Westbrook is. The guy has been useless this postseason, just as he would be in any other system besides the West Coast offense that allows you to win games with Arena League receivers like Hank Baskett. Am I the only one who's happy to see Kurt Warner headed back to the Super Bowl? Typically, CursedCleveland.com is not much for praising players, but this is just a genuinely good guy who deserves all of the success he gets. He's smart, handsome, and if you're going through one of those self-checkout lines at the grocery store what better guy to have with you?

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Weekend Newzin'

Is Waiting for Next year the Chick-Fil-A of the Cleveland blogosphere? Much like I want their crispy chicken combo on Sundays, Clevelanders want your listlessly regurgitated sports takes on the weekend. We're over here working in the trenches, and you guys are hanging out at Club Med. Ohh WFNY, we kid, we kid.

Some much needed Mike Brown love (Didn't know the Beacon Journal still was a functioning paper). Credit due to Cavaliers' coach.

Bob Hunter's about two-years too late to the bash coordinators club. Tressel sees need for tweaking.

Thad Matta, Jim Tressel and CursedCleveland.com is a combined 15-2 combined against Michigan. OSU regains early-season attitude.

Dan Henderson has been involved in more judge's decisions than Antonin Scalia. Two UFC announcements: Rampage to fight Jardine in Columbus and Liddell vs. Shogun to headline UFC 97 in Montreal.

The Dipatch was disappointed by Lil Wayne. They're obviously racist. Frustrating Concert.

Swerb's blurbs is auditioning for yet another writer. Reminds me of the clip from Naked Gun when all 42 of the announcers are introduced before the baseball game. You need a new writer like Football Night in America needs another on-air panelist. Swerb's Freaking Blurbs.

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