Saturday, January 27, 2007

Man Wins Women's Title!

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

DOWN UNDER - Congratulations to Serena Williams on winning the Australian Open Women's Title by destroying #1 seed Maria Sharapova (and for looking extremely manly and overweight in the process). Nobody was expecting this victory by the worst dressed player on the tour (Especially not to the tune of 6-1, 6-2 and one of the worst losses in Sharapova's career). Nothing sickens me more than having to listen to this neon-clad nightmare cry and thank her mother (Who is crazy) after the match (Am I the only one who thinks of particular lyrics by Obie Trice when I see Serena Williams in a dress thats too small? Those lyrics are "Built like a stallion, you belong in a race" in case you were wondering, from the title track of his debut cd entitled Cheers.). We just hope this loss doesn't deflate Sharapova, who has more going for her than any other 19 year old girl we know (And we'd like to consider ourselves experts on the lives of 19 year old females).


8 comments:

Matt Hemsath said...

Could we get a less original premise for this post? And I am getting a little concerned with all of the tennis coverage on this blog, is BSmith your official tennis writer? Is he going on the beat for the ATP? Even if CC.com only devotes this kind of coverage to majors, it is too much.

Anonymous said...

Still using the fake names Nye?..now that's an original premise.

Claire Thomas said...

Yeah moron, perhaps this site should just cover only cleveland sports - i mean, that's clearly a gigantic piece of the internet pie. You guys are doing just fine, someone really sounds jealous.

By the way boys, i think i'm your first female reader - you boys look hot in that launch picture. Love the site.

King Nick said...

Couldn't have said it better myself. The words "Thunder Thighs" and "Quadzilla" come to mind after watching that match. Holy manly. Tremendous 19 yr old girl reference as well. Well done.

Mark Nizen said...

I don't care if a Nye is using fake names...I'm more curious to know if they are still riding around in that car that smelled like a pig shit all over the front seat

Ben Larrick said...

That was my car ass. And if i found out who did it i'll.....i'll....i'll probably just pretend to be a hard ass and then cry a little

Stroodle Fan said...

Hey Smith! Did you ever get all that breakfast pastry out of your hair?

Anonymous said...

She's a woman with a dirty mouth.

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